MetalSucks liking Zao is something akin to getting a blowjob from a hooker and not getting an STD — possible, but certainly not likely. And so the realization that both Axl and myself enjoyed Zao’s new song “What Will You Find?,” — released last month — was nothing short of shocking. Until I clicked a linky-dink in a press release sent this weekend directing me to Zao’s MySpace to hear their entire new album. And then it all suddenly made sense; there, at the top of their MySpace page, was a glistening new promo photo of the band with singer Daniel Weyandt sporting a wicked, classy, distinguished and bad-ass handlebar mustache.

Clearly the power of the ‘stache is behind Zao’s newfound rise to the realms of good music; do not underestimate the power of the stache, people! And this mustache is no joke; Weyandt looks like the kind of man who wouldn’t sport lip-hair as an ironic hipster fashion statement. No, instead he is the dinguished metal gentlemen, a mustachioed man amongst ironic bearded boys, a shephard amongst artsy-fartsy, poser sheep.

Thankfully what I’m hearing of the rest of Zao’s new album Awake? backs up our initial impressions; to quote my pal Axl, this is “angry, dirty, and vicious” music and represents a big step forward for a band who previously excelled in meh-itude. Unfortunately Axl’s delight at the absence of “shitty clean vocals” in “What Will You Find?” will be short-lived, as said vocals do make an appearance in the rest of the album; but they’re mostly kept to a minimum and aren’t too obnoxious (for the most part).

So head on over to Zao’s MySpace and listen to all of Awake? now before it’s taken down for tomorrow’s release day. While you’re listening, think about your own facial hair (or lack thereof) and contemplate what that says about your place in the world.

-VN