AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED FINALLY RECORD AN ALBUM BETTER THAN THEIR NAME
Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 at 1:00pm by Satan Rosenbloom
Given his godly tenure with Pig Destroyer, I’d never question Scott Hull’s songwriting skill. Given his confidential government IT dayjob, it’d be inadvisable to criticize the dude anyway, lest I find myself the unwitting victim of extraordinary rendition to Uzbekistan. But it’s still a welcome surprise that for the first time in over a decade, Hull’s other grind band, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, has songs notable for something other than their brevity. ANb’s third full-length, Agorapocalypse, has nothing on 2003’s 3-inch, 100-track Altered States of America in terms of novelty. What it does have is groove, structure and listenability up the ass. I just listened to it three times in a row and it’s not even 9am. And my ass hurts.
For a project that’s essentially one musician, three vocalists and a drum machine, ANb sound more like a proper band than ever. It helps that Hull’s cyberdrums are nearly indistinguishable from the real thing – check the 50-second drum solo in “Question of Integrity,” a towering triumph of pre-programmed spontaneity. Each of ANb’s three throat-scrapers has a separate personality, none more intimidating than that of new member Kat, whose ferocious screaming on “Moral Distortion” (“A flaccid mouth / Spews violent / Tyrannical notions”) immediately vaults her up to Grace Perry levels of grindcore postergirl cred.
“Accepting the absurd / Has become second nature…no purpose in being offensive” hurls ANb’s electronics man and vocalist J. Randall on “Question of Integrity.” A fitting mantra for an album whose topics include Orwellian dystopias, seriously disturbed drug-snorting sex fantasies, and plenty of cheeky self-referencing (“In a world where I never existed / No friends, no family, no ANb/My cargo sold for next to nothing / To some Japanese / That years later was rumored to have had programmed the world’s first blast beat”). Agorapocalypse’s lyrics run the gamut between trenchant sociopolitical commentary and id-worshipping hedonism, and if that makes it harder to take the whole thing seriously, it’s also a sign that the band isn’t holding anything back.
Even at the album’s silliest, there’s simply no fucking with Hull’s riffing. It stretches out comfortably into epic-length (two-to-three minute) expanses, chewing up monster death metal grooves (“Hung From the Rising Sun,” “White on White Crime”) that tie together some mighty violent bouts of grind punishment (“First National Stem Cell and Clone,” “Druggernaut Jug Fuck”). These are riffs you can take home to your mother. You may marvel at how an album so unhinged lyrically can be so controlled musically. Then you hear Agorapocalypse’s final line “I’ll fuck you in the face, bitch,” and you check out Florian’s totally fucked cover art, and you head back to track one for another ticket to Grindville. For a brief 28 minutes and 37 seconds, all thoughts of Pig Destroyer fade away, and there is only Agorapocalypse.
(four out of five horns)
-SR
Nice review.
This album is good as shit. But I am pretty sure they used a live drummer. Hence the drum solo’s and shit.
Nah dude, it’s programmed. They used Drumkit from Hell. It’s really good programming though, much props.
yup. every hit, crash, click, and stomp is meticulously programmed and mixed. no loops at all. scott hull is a monster with drumkit from hell.
Really? my bad I thought I read in an interview somewhere that they had a drummer record with them. oh well
Sweet review. Definitely going to check this out.
That drum solo caught me by surprise. I wish I could program drums close to as how great they sound here.
YOU COULDN’T PROGRAM A BLOODY VCR MY BOY.
Or, hmmmm …..you could use a drummer! Shit, as a drummer, Im sure fuckin guitarists would be offended if every fuckin band used programed guitar parts. Give a drummer a job, Man!!!!
Finding a local drummer is a pain in the ass, especially living in a small town. =[
Really awesome album. Kat is a very good vocalist as well.
dude drum kit from hell practically does all that shit for you haha. I’ve been writing parts on it for 2 years to show my human drummer, it’s a really useful program.
Total disagreement from me. Love ANb’s earlier stuff – I think Frozen Corpse is one of the top five grind albums ever – but this album seems unnecessary. I don’t come to ANb for thrash riffs and fucking guitar solos, I come to them for 30 seconds of screamed nonsense and a burst of machinegun programming; rinse, and repeat 30 more times.
I guess this is what happens when you let a girl in the band. (Kidding.)
I GUESS THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET A RETARD ON THE INTERNET (NOT KIDDING)
ALL CAPS MAKES YOU BROOTAL!!!
A NAME BEGINNING WITH K MAKES YOU GAY!!!
I issue a formal retraction and apology for any and all annoyance I have caused with my unnecessary contributions to this website
pdf is spot on. this album sounds like it could have been written by anyone, which is not true of preceeding ANb releases. its not even the slowed down, groove oriented approach they take here; the 4 songs on their split with Insect Warfare are probably my favorite tracks in the ANb catalog. agorapocolypse is an ok album on its own, but an exceedingly boring album by ANb.
YOU’RE AN EXTREMELY BORING ALBUM BY ANb.
this is a great album and shows growth. not what you expect from a grind band of this stature.
i only listen to their split with Converge. everything after that is sell out.
I like this new record, but I agree with pdf … it lacks what previous ANb albums had. That, and it’s hard to call them ‘grindcore’ anymore.
very true. this isn’t a “grindcore” record at all, but, at the same time, i don’t think that scott hull really gives a fuck whether or not you call it grindcore, expect ANb to make grindcore, or anything else. i’ll admit that “frozen corpse…” is my favorite ANb record, and i’m with PDF that it’s in my top five grind (if not metal in general) albums of all time… but if you listen to it, it’s obvious that this record isn’t about sticking with norms, formats, and expectations. it may not be the best ANb record, but it’s easily in the top five of the year so far. i dig this shit more than the new brutal truth or new napalm death albums. i can’t think of another extreme metal record i’ve heard so far in 09 that even comes close to this. oh, and kat’s vocals blow grace’s out of the water. she’s easily the best chick vocalist in metal. grace is good, but she’s not even playin’ the same game as kat, let alone in the same league. and super props to her for not acting like a slut to sell records. haters can get fucked.
If it’s not grindcore, then what is it?
didn’t you read what i wrote? extreme metal.
I’m asking what subgenre of extreme metal it is.
what kind of OCD do you have, that everything has to fit in a nice and neat little box? who gives a fuck what you call it? i wouldn’t put it into any stupid sub-genre. “metal” and “extreme metal” are good enough for me.
Thrashcore?
I dub it Pingascore.
All they need is a special ed. record with Robotnik on it and we’re in business.
Who cares what genre they are though? They make music to listen to while hacking at rich whites with dull axes.
I must agree that this album lacks that signature ANb feel but it does however show a new side to these artists that I’m glad to see. Grindcore has become over saturated with shitty ANb wannabees and it was time for change. If they had put out an album with the same formula as before i’m sure plenty of people still wouldn’t have been happy they would have been disappointed in not seeing anygrowth from the band. And that is the beauty of this album ANb stepped out of what they’ve always done to do something no one would have expected from them and sound like this is all they have ever done. Great album and now I’m going to go listen to it again
agorapocalypse is meh at best. it’s self-indulgent wankery by scott hull, and to me at least, it seems like richard johnson does about 90% of the vocals on the album. everyone keeps talking about j randall’s lyrics and the addition of kat, but richard johnson is the vocal work horse in this band. kat’s not fit to wipe the asses of the other three members of agoraphobic. she’s only in this band because she used to date JR back in the day. she used to brag about dating him to anyone who would listen, like a little starfucking groupie. justin- it doesn’t matter that she’s not acting like a slut to sell records. the only reason anyone pays attention to her is because she’s a pretty little blonde haired girl who screams. (if you’re the justin i’m thinking of, you shouldn’t waste your time defending her anyway. we both know how she is. i don’t know you like i know katherine, but i can tell that you’re a guy who knows what’s up.) if she was six feet talk and 300 lbs, no one would care about her in the least. she’s a photo op. a show pony. a marketing gimmick. i’ve known kat for a long time, and i’ll say this: she’s a selfish, self-centered, and self-important little prima donna cunt. C-U-N-T, cunt. she’s cut off friends (myself included) because she thinks that she’s better than everyone else. she’s a shit talker and a rumor mongerer, and will lead anyone on who pays attention to her. all of her flirting and “cutsie” behavior is obnoxious and nauseating. kat has a harem of men that follow her around, and she leads all of them on for the sake of attention. here’s a newsflash: no amount of attention from a bunch of guys who want to fuck you is going to fill up the rotten void inside of your depressed shell. she’s a borderline schizophrenic with daddy issues bad enough that she’s let older men take advantage of her naivety and trust. her high school art teacher took advantage of her and so did some other old man years after kat was old enough to have known better. she was in love with her art teacher and everyone at school knew it, and knew that he was preying on a little girl’s feelings and sheltered ideology. but since she’s a self-centered idealist, no amount of reality penetrates her bubble. she doesn’t take into consideration that she had the potential to wreck that married man’s home for her own selfishness, and she thought she was so cool playing the mistress to a man twice her age. kat is an idiot who passes off a lack of artistic talent and skill as vision, and only does anything that she does to seek approval from anyone who’ll pet her tiny little ego. her lyrics are unimaginative attempts to fit in to anb. grace perry is a much better singer and performer than kat could ever be. she shouldn’t be in this band and i wish everyone would shut the fuck up about her. she has no dignity and her only loyalty lies within what serves her own interests. she’s a shitty person and her vocals are just ok. any number of men would do 1000 times better. agoraphobic nosebleed would be better without her in the band. her presence alone makes agorapocalypse unlistenable for me.
WOW
Sorry dude nobody wanted to hear Kat’s FUCKING LIFE
since this whole thing happened everyone kisses her ass. i don’t like that little bitch. she’s caused alot of drama for me over the last few years and fucked up my band. don’t read it if you don’t like it. otherwise, suck my big uncircumcised cock.
Your band is faggot, and your life is shit. Kill yourself.
BAAAAWWWWWWWW
Who fucking cares? You didn’t even post with your real name, pussy.
Since when did this site turn into a Perez Hilton-type muck-raking thing? I don’t get the point of the attacks on the woman…ooh holy shit dude, a rock star being an asshole/unpleasant? UNHEARD OF. It’s the music that counts, and I personnaly think that she’s got a lot to bring to the table (she sounds like a meth-addict emaciated zombie bitch=awesome and perfect for AnB). Aditionally, you make it out as though this chick is skanking it up right there in the fucking cover, when nothing could be further from the truth. I’m not defending a person I don’t know; hell, for all I know, you could be right and this is a totally shitty person we’re dealing with here. I’m just saying that your type of whining is better suited to some gossipy blog. I mean, Varg Vikernes is a motherfucking nazi cunt murderer piece of shit, but when it comes down to the music, people of races and creeds he despises revere it! It just seemed uncalled for, that’s all…
i’ll take a nazi who says it and means it over some little girl who poses for pictures and sings songs that go against everything she claims to believe in. she’s a fucking feminist yoga teacher singing/posing in one of the most hateful and mysogynistic bands out there. she’s clearly doing this against her morals and because it gives her the chance to be “famous” or “renowned.” believe me, she wouldn’t be singing in a band like this if they didn’t have some kind of status or scene credibility.
I don’t think you understand ANb. You should probably do a little research into a little thing called “irony”.
What you said about Kat doesn’t surprise me at all. I’d buy it.
THIS POST WAS SELF INDULGENT WANKERY AND MEH AT BEST.
Mr. Caine you make me giggle
You are one jealous fucking asshole.
CUM.
FOR MY FRIENDS. FOR MY FAMIREEE. LAMBGOAT TILL TEH FOOKEIN END.
GOOD ASS CHOO CHOO FEEF.
PLEASE PEOPLE, USE REAL DRUMMERS. WE DONT PRACTICE FOR HOURS SO YOU CAN USE A SOFTWARE PROGRAM TO DO A HALF ASSED JOB OF WHAT WE DO BETTER.
for real, what if mastodon or gojira or tool, etc used computer drums? fake drums are gay, just like digitized guitar synths [mostly used in rap and RnB] are gay.
Like I said, it’s hard to find a local drummer. Programming drums opens up young artists to writing their own music and coming up with ideas that they couldn’t otherwise express. It’s not “gay” at all.
That being said, I’m sure ANb and Genghis Tron could easily find a drummer. It’s just their choice. They can’t leave their ideas up to someone else, I suppose.
CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU JUST STATED, PROGRAMMED DRUMS ARE NEITHER GAY NOR ‘FAKE’.
INANIMATE OBJECTS AND PIECES OF SOFTWARE ARE INCAPABLE OF HARBOURING HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES.
YOU HOWEVER ARE. AND HARBOUR THEM YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO!
YOU REALLY ARE VERY GAY.
I’VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS ‘MASTODON’ OR ‘TOOL’ YOU SPEAK OF, HOWEVER I’M PRETTY SURE THAT GOJIRA ARE MOST DEFINATELY ALL GAY.
THEY’RE FRENCH FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
that’s probably the funniest shit I’ve read here.
I don’t really dig grind too much, but I picked the album up the other day and I’ve been listening non-stop. Shit’s great.
Scott Hull can do no wrong. He’s like the King Midas of metal. That man is incapable of writing a riff that doesn’t completely stomp ass. And don’t bitch about one band using a drum computer. It’s an integral part of their sound and a major part of what makes them unique. For every drum computer band (the only 2 I can think of are ANb and The Berzerker), there are a billion bands with a live drummer. They’re not putting any human drummers out of a job, because no human is capable of playing at 1000 bpm. Scott Hull’s programming is almost as ingenious as his guitar playing. I don’t know if anyone here has ever tried to use a drum machine, but that shit takes some serious rhythmic know-how.
Oh shit, I forgot Genghis Tron. They’re another badass band that uses a drum computer to do what no human can do.
You could have not said it any better.
Great review \m/
this album fucking rules. yeah its not “grind” by everyone’s standards, but for that matter, is Pig Destroyer? Being innovative within a genre, or at least a little creative, is pretty fucking sweet in my book.
His riffs all kick ass, all the vocalists kick ass, the chick’s voice grabs my attention in songs every time I listen to it, great contrast to the other lyrics.
And the dude that was bitching about her… man… go be butthurt elsewhere. I’m pretty sure every dude everywhere knows a chick they could/would describe the way you described her, and for every dude that does, there is at least one dude that thinks she shits roses and is the most beautiful thing in the world. Just the way things work. And on a whole other level, who gives a shit, her voice is shredder, and I hadn’t seen a picture of her til I actively searched one out, and I see no posing really. Oh yeah and irony is pretty funny, maybe if you actually listened to any ANb at all you’d know what we’re getting at.
what the fuck am I babbling so much for, this fucking album rules.
Didn’t read any of the other comments, don’t really care right now, I just wanted to say that I went schizophrenic for a day after listening to Altered states in one sitting. I’ll definitely checking this one out.
Also: My favorite grindgirl: Tavy of Girl Think Sexy / Texas Prison Rodeo. Myspace the latter. Fuck yeah Ace Deuce punx