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Cinemetal

ANOTHER TERRIBLE IRONIC POP COVER FROM A METAL BAND

 Thursday, May 7th, 2009 at 5:00pm by

But at least this one has bondage chicks and lesbos in it.

Here’s The Berzerker doing the tATu (Christ I can’t believe I just typed that with the caps and everything) song “All the Things She Said.” Apparently some people are really offended by the sexual content of the video*, but really everyone should just be offended that this blows so hard.

Awful. Just awful.

Thanks to Mark Mortiz-Rabson for the link.

-AR

*And by “some people,” I mean “no one.” I mean, I don’t think the people who get offended by this kind of shit even know who the fuck The Berserker are. As far as I can tell, this is just some non-controversy cooked up by the group’s PR team to get them some headlines – so mission accomplished!

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  • http://myspace.com/doomsdaymourning the manny

    just plain fucking awful! what happened to the cthulu looking masks and shit? this is one band where the aesthetics went perfectly with their fake, machine gun, apocalyptic kinda sound. i love the berzerker but that was fucking terrible. and that whole bridge of the nose piercing thing the guitarist has is the gayest thing ever.

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    bah, this wouldn’t have sucked so bad if the vocalist wasn’t in it…and the industrial sound wasn’t there.

    Now maybe a wall of sound production with the original (or similar vocals) would have worked.

    Something more gripping and convincing.

    This obviously wasn’t done with any serious intentions behind it. I laughed.

  • alex

    you should listen to live your life by a plea for purging if you want a joke cover. or if you want a serious kind of one, check out since u been gone or over my head by a day to remember. those actually both turned out really well.

    • Dohoho

      A day to remember? You best be joking nigger.

      • OriginalityAdvocate

        i completely agree with Dohoho, & actually want to add my own little twist to it. You have got to be the most worthless type of person in the world to ever like ADTR

  • gnarlk

    dear lord….

  • wata

    Where are the cowbell blast beats we’ve come to know and love from The Berzerker?

  • ClosetMetalHead

    I don’t know what you guys are talking about; I love everything about this video.

  • Malacoda

    I kind of like it.

  • tyler09

    that song coulda been done so much better.

  • Beastmaster

    No care. I love The Berzerker. They are winsauce.

  • Jimmy

    The original was better than this shit.

  • taog36

    my pants got tighter

    • Ihsahn_

      This.

  • Sammy

    The band probably sent copies of the video to every Focus on the Family type group with a letter say, “Please watch this. Please please please watch this and please be offended. We need the pub.”

  • terrybeans84

    Hell I did’nt mind it.

  • iolanach

    Their cover of Corporal Jigsore Quandary is even worse, imo. Those drums…my god, they sound like something out of a NES game.

  • facefacefack

    How come no one is scissoring?

  • bob

    hideous

  • tsongas

    the first 2 records, amazing. when the lost the masks, they seemed to lose the point.

  • bearbomb

    Dreadful. Mostly because the video is one giant cock tease with it’s back and forth cuts between hot chics making out and close up of mutant lead singer. It’s like, boner > no boner > boner > no boner. Now I’m sitting on a block of ice.

    I dig the Teddy Ruxpin cameo at 1:21 though. That takes me back.

  • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

    FUCK MAN!! I hate this shit! Don’t they know that it’s totally gay to cover a pop song even in an ironic, kinda way? This shit is awful, cringeworthy and total garbage, did I also mention it’s not funny at all too?

    Yuch…

    • ozzyzak

      Yuch?

  • HagstromSpeed

    the only purpose to this video….getting one off to it haha *cleans up tissues*

  • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

    I gotta say: the chicks are HOT though….

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Would you like to suck my cock Berzerker?

    • CrapMcPoopin

      Fuck you beat me to it.

      • \m/Eluveitie\m/

        I’m actually amazed I was the first

  • Chris

    Is he wearing his own band’s t-shirt?

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Yes, yes he is

    • xCOOCOOKALx

      don’t be that guy…

  • ian

    I’m offended by how much that band sucks.

  • justin

    i would expect something like this out of those homos. the berzerker has always been a gimmick. why stop now?

  • Hooligan6989

    i think this vid would have been better if there was just no music and the footage of the band in it was clipped out. bahahaha!

    • exor666t

      Word- I watched it with the sound off & it was great except for the bunch of ugly old dudes.

      • ozzyzak

        Old guys? lol, I guess I don’t even want to know how old you are then.

  • Patton

    I have the T-shirt the bassist’s wearing :] Meh doesn’t suck, ain’t funny, enuff said.

  • ilovelesbians

    everone with negative shit to say about this video loves cock, its lesbians gettin dirty with fucking metal in the background could you want anything more? i honestly could not hear the song i was focused on the girls makin out and jumping up and down

    • canea

      I agree.

      My ears wanted to turn it off but my penis said no.

  • Nigel

    At least it is better then when Sonic Syndicate covered a Ta.t.u song

    God I hate that band

  • The Metal Nerd

    My love for you is ticing clock BEZERKER!

  • Lauren

    i spy two berkerker shirts too many. if anything, the berzerker is fun to say.

  • BEARDY

    I LOVE LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • valido

    Well, if someone said to me “If you can improvise a TATU metal cover for a videoclip I can get two hot chicks to make out in front of you” I’d reply “why not”

  • SourDeez

    A bad misstep by an otherwise awesome band. But hey, if Jeff Walker made a country album, anything is possible. I am one hundred percent down with the bondage lesbos though.

  • DJ

    How can a video with lesbians AND teddy ruxpin be bad?

    • CrapMcPoopin

      It would have been better if Teddy Ruxpin fucked the lesbians.

  • Whittemore

    This wasn’t bad at all. I find it interesting that a death metal band can cover tatu. Plus everything Berzerker does is fucking awesome in the first place. Besides..two sets of chicks making out with one another? Are you guys all fucking gay? The song is catchy and if it’s not going to be released on an album I am downloading it immediately.

  • http://148gb.blogspot.com loganarchy

    I’ve got to say that cover sucks. You know why? At risk of sounding like an idiot, it doesn’t sound anything like the original (which kicked ass, by the way…. I didn’t know who sang that song, thanks MetalSucks!)

  • Tobias

    That has to be the single most genius thing I have seen or heard this week.

  • groverXIII

    Yeah, that cover sucks pretty hard.

    Tub Ring, on the other hand, does a pretty decent cover of this song. (Yeah, I know, Tub Ring aren’t metal, but I love their older stuff, even with the blatant Mr. Bungle worship.)

  • Beereded

    1. If it weren’t for Children of Bodom, we wouldn’t have crap like this.
    2. Are The Berzerker still using drum machines?
    3. As far as the lesbians go: lest we forget 2 girls, 1 cup.

    • Malacoda

      Since “The Reawakwening”, they have a real drummer.

      • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

        really? didn’t sound real to me!

  • ilovelesbians

    LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU ALL GAY???????????? ThEYRE FUCKING LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • jamie

    this whole notion of covering pop songs has become extremely gay
    -wait no-
    i correct myself
    always was lame

  • Kittycorpse

    Fuck that clip was lame… fucking that chick with the black hair at the start is a retard who believes she’s “brutal as fuck” btw she calls her self “Sam McSatan” yeah that’s br00tal…

  • seveword

    1. Watch it with the sound off
    2. Ignore guys
    3. ???
    4. Profit!

  • poopsmcgee

    another one? really?

  • Malacoda

    Axl you misspelled berserker = berzerker. and yes, them wearing their own shirts = fail.

  • Kye

    I actually liked the original of this song.

    This, however, makes me want to stab babies.

  • Brock

    Song was awful. Band is awful. Video was awful. I see a lot of, “Hey, turn off the sound and its good.” You’re already on the internet, so go watch porn instead of this. Unless you’re twelve, in which case, your dad’s porn is probably under your parents’ bed and it is probably from the 70′s, but have fun anyway. There’s drugs under there, too.

    • Drakodan

      Comment of the century.

      • Rik

        Seconded!

  • Dysenteric

    This is the first website that reckons that this cover is total FAIL. I agree totally.

    No matter how much I wanna get a boner over the two pairs of lesbians, I’m always afraid to because then the video cuts to a guy wearing his own band’s T-shirt. TWO of them in fact. The type of music doesn’t go well with the video either…

    This song just does not translate well into metal, and I hope no other band tries to do something like this again. The original song and video completely bury The Berzerker’s version. I also hope no more band members appear in videos and promo shoots wearing their own merchandise.

    I never thought I would badmouth a video with two sets of lesbians in it, but I have. Controversial, my arse.

  • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

    that gave me a boner. song sucked but hot chicks makin’ out. what’s not to love?

  • Whittemore

    Why does everyone give a shit if they wear their own band shirts? If you guys were in a death metal band you would too. You are proudly wearing your own shit in hopes of people buying it, because last time I checked, I’m sure Luke Kenny isn’t making millions of dollars off Berzerker. Besides all of you are acting like its fucking Metallica wearing their own shirts. Just another way to promote the new album and if they want to do a cover song for fun, I suggest you all stop complaining.

    • Brock

      I would expect Metallica to wear their own shit.

  • timmah

    Only Mr. Newsted, and anyone from Iron Maiden excluding Bruce can wear their own band’s t-shirt

  • cornblood

    I’m going to watch that again.

  • http://www.decibelmagazine.com/blog nick

    Sooooooooo AWESOME.

  • Mancubus

    Proof that grind bands should not do pop music. This seriously killed the buzz that I had after seeing Primordial last night, thanks a lot, guys.

  • Phro

    Come on people! In the interest of having mainstream bands use nothing but music videos of hot girls making out with each other, we need to love this video and this band. Ber…something or another.

    I WANT LESBO MUSIC VIDEOS EVERYWHERE!!!

  • Anselmowitz

    Girls nowadays are way sluttier man- that schoolgirl webcam shit was hot but tame, chicks in my day were like “eww I aint touching Sallys breasts through that top”…. nowadays they’re on stickam licking the finger they just stuck in their friends ass. Video didnt even get a wiggle, Internets done broke my dick.

    Berzerker tho, we did a show with those guys and Luke Kenny is full pro – personally made sure the gig sounded right, made sure everyone was in form, chatted to fans, played for well over an hour etc etc. Not completely friendly but got shit done like a motherfucker. That said I don’t agree with some of his music business decisions & hot damn this video is one of them. If it had to be done, should have cut the dudes rockin out in favor of four way girl on girl ass fingering.

  • OdinsFox

    Jesus Christ that was terrible..
    I wonder how they even got the idea for this, they had to be sitting around listening to it. I really see no other way then a bunch of metal guys sitting around listening to it then someone gets the worst idea ever

  • BigJordowski

    I think this is hilarious… try not to look at it from a musical stand point, just laugh at the comedy of fuckin metal and lesbos together. Hilarious. But yeah, the song sucks.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    The Berzerker is awesome but I kind of lost some respect for them with this cover. Not because of what song it is, but because it’s just it’s god awful. The Berzerker are capable of doing so much better than this.

  • ozzyzak

    avatar? yes/no?