METALSUCKS WELCOMES NEW GUEST BLOGGER, DAATH GUITARIST EYAL LEVI
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Eyal Levi
MetalSucks is proud to announce that we’ve stolen Daath’s Eyal Levi away from our friends at Headbanger’s Blog. We did this because we love Eyal, and also to spite Viacom. Eyal will check in with his column, “Jumping Darkness Parade,” when he can. We hope you enjoy!
Be safe. Travel safe. Drive safe. On and on and on. Everyone says that to me when I’m on tour. Family, friends, people at the clubs, people in other bands, etc. I’m always hearing about how safe I should be. In all reality, if I cared about my safety I wouldn’t tour. Not a chance.
There is nothing safe about touring in a van. Daath owns a maroon twelve seater Ford van. For the uninitiated, that means that there’s supposed to be three benches. We took out a bench in the back to make a sleeping area for two. It’s perfect for when we’re moving. Two people up front. Two people in the benches. Two people in the back. Everyone has a spot.
But how safe is this? If you’re not up front, generally you will want to be sleeping. Nobody wants to sleep sitting up. This means that nobody sleeps with seat belts on. If we were to wreck, the two people in benches would either get slammed into the ceiling, get folded like laundry as their torso tried to go through the windshield while their legs and head were caught by the front seats, or they would get ejected through a side window in the case of a roll over. The guys in the back would either get flung forward leg first into the steel legs of the benches or if they’re lucky the gas and break pedals. If the accident happened from behind the trailer would just come and crush them. I personally hate riding in the very back but now that I think of it maybe that would be the quickest, easiest death.
Speaking of the trailer… Wow, My band is a bunch of idiots (me included). We take more gear than any opening band at the van level should ever take. We have more backline than is healthy. This means that our trailer is one heavy motherfucker. If it were to blow a tire and start weaving it will most likely flip us. From what I hear, if it were lighter it would just rip off the hitch, but no… we would get flipped. And flipping would initiate the scenarios I listed up above.
Statistically speaking we should be OK. If you’ve been following Daath since the last record you’ll know that we already had big bad scary accident. The year was 2oo7. The month was January. The state was Iowa. The weather conditions were blizzard and we hit some black ice, jackknifed the trailer, and ended up in a median. We’re extremely lucky that we’re alive and the gear is fine. I’d like to think that this was our accident and we’re cool. I can’t really think that. I know that the more time you spend on the road the more likely you are to be involved in a crash. We drive 2-8 hours a day. Every day. Statistically its just a matter of time for us. And if it happens then it’ll probably go down like I described above. So be safe? Fat fucking chance. I think a better and more probable scenario is to just not give a shit. Easier said than done but what else can you do?
-EL
Visit Daath on MySpace to get the full itinerary for their summer tour with Goatwhore, Abigail Williams, Abysmal Dawn, and Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky. Here’s a teaser for the band’s upcoming video, “Day of Endless Night”:
Its still DÅÅTH not DAATH you dirty amerifags!
Fuck your crazy A’s you filthy pedophile communist.
Also, car accidents are awesome and you people know it.
my keyboard won’t even do that.
Your keyboard can you just didn’t know how!
Alt + Numpad 134
åå
And Alt + Numpad 0197 for the capital! Å
you get your terrorist keyboard symbols out of here
Ha! I like this.
Iowa? *I’m* from Iowa! Wooooooooooooooooooooo!!! And so on and so forth.
Also, correct the answer to the contest question you posted awhile back is “Inca Roads,” by Frank Zappa. Specifically (as of late, anyway), the version played by Zappa Plays Zappa from the live box set they released last year. Dweezil’s solo is magnificent.
That is all. Thank you.
However, the version of “Call Any Vegetable” from that same ZPZ release is also quite stunning.
Hopefully this means less from that turd from god forbid.
DååthFlip!
*ding ding ding* we have a winner in the comments section!
Anybody up for betting on how long Eyal has to live? I’m going with six months.
3 months
So does this mean I get to wish you a painless death next time I see you guys play?
‘May you die painlessly in an atrocious van accident!’
meh.
The Concealers isn’t that great so I don’t know how much I will bother to follow Daath now. Maybe it’ll be a grower.
If you’re using that analogy, then the new God Dethroned and Susperia albums are not just showers but two of the biggest blackest cocks out there.
Wow. I can’t wait to go on tour. Thanks for that.
That video looks SICK!
Good to see that Metal Sucks got another blog person. Dallas Coyle was good, but he just kind of stopped writing a while ago.
this reply was exactly one sentence too long
I greatly look forward to reading this blag.
Judging from this entry’s topic, this blog, along with the band, will be short-lived
At least you’re looking at this with your eyes open.
Still, there are some things that you can do to decrease the likelihood of problems. Many of the band problems I’ve heard are not necessarily the fault of the band but could have been avoided if someone hadn’t tried to drive tired or make up extra time during a dark snowstorm.
My advice for others (and maybe you do some of this stuff): Make an equipment checklist, print up a bunch of copies and keep them on a clipboard – run through this checklist EVERY time you stop for gas (tire pressure, equipment hitch is solid, gear has not shifted in trailer, etc). No one is allowed to drive for more than two hours in a row after dark. There is not shame in being the slowest, hazard flashingest thing on the road in rain or snow. Hook up a bunch of extra lights on your trailer. Driver is not allowed to interact with any devices other than the car/van (cel phones, nav devices, vibrators, etc). Always maintain a three second delay between when the back of the car in front of you passes a point and when your front tires pass that point. And the number one rule of carrying a trailer – treat the speed limit as a LIMIT.
I’ve found that keeping the driving part of the tour as boring as possible makes an inherently dangerous activity safer. In fact, write this on masking tape and post it on the dash board in front of the driver – “OUR BAND KEEPS IT BORING”.
= Justin
The point of the whole thing was that Daath DOES NOT CARE about personal safety
OOOOOOOOOH, driving without a seatbelt, what a badass!
sleeping with a seatbelt and getting the seatbelt marks on you would be more badass.
Uhh…Knock on wood?