ALL MY HEROES HAVE FAILED ME
Monday, June 8th, 2009 at 2:00pm by Axl RosenbergNow here’s a list for ya:
Dave Mustaine – turned into a douchebag
Marty Friedman – defected to Japan
Randy Rhodes – dead
Bon Scott – dead
Chuck Schulinder – dead
Ozzy Osbourne – dead
Zakk Wylde – lazy
Vince Neil – turned into a douchebag
Nikki Sixx – turned into a douchebag
Tommy Lee – turned into a douchebag
Mick Mars – turned into a statue
Eddie Van Halen – turned into a douchebag
David Lee Roth – turned into an even bigger douchebag
Axl Rose – turned into the biggest douchebag
Slash – whore
Izzy Stradlin – iTunes only
Joey Belladonna – dick
Eddie Ojeda – who?
Lars Ulrich – turned into a douchebag
James Hetfield – what the fuck, dude?
Cliff Burton – dead
Jason Newsted – Rock Star Supernova
Kirk Hammett – tool
Scott Ian – tool
Dan Spitz – watches
Andreas Kisser – Derrick Green
Chris Cornell – turned into a douchebag
Tom Morello – Audioslave
Kim Thayil – dropped off the face of the planet
Gene Simmons – greed
Paul Stanley – Gene Simmons
Gary Holt – Sido Abbene
Rick Rubin – Justin Timberlake
Dimebag – dead
Vinne Paul – Hellyeah
Jim Martin – pumpkins
-AR
Reading this makes me sad. Oh well
*goes back to listening to Coalesce
Its your own damn fault that the guys from Motley Crue were your heroes to begin with.
i second that
Indeed! Some of those people *cough* *lars* *cough* have always been douches.
Most of my heroes are still alive and kickin (or dead).
Motley Crue have always be assholes, always will be.
Maynard James will never be on this list….
most of these guys on here could NEVER be called heroes….
Dimebag and vinne paul defintly…
dudes from motley crue and KISS…NEVER
*Maynard James will never be on this list….*
FAIL
ozzy is not dead
sharon took his balls away
dave mustaine was always a douchebag he is just a different kind of douchebag
and his last album was solid stuff
sad about zakk wylde though
i really loved that guys guitar work
Hahaha..Dan Spitz.
I quite honestly don’t think I ever respected anyone on this list to begin with.
fuck you if you dont like randy rhoads
Never said I didn’t like him. He’s a fine guitar player and a great guy I’m sure…but that’s about it. Never did anything to make me go “Wow, Rhandy Roads is super special awesome.”
So um…fuck you too?
What about Chuck Schulinder?! He was the fucking man, man.
Easily the only really respectable one on that list.
Chuck was on the list? *looks again* Well, I concede my hastiness in my previous statement, I do indeed have respect for some of this list.
I clicked on this expecting to see The Phoenix Throne by Dead to Fall as number 21. Instead I get to be reminded how the people I looked up to growing up turned into total douchebags or died. Thanks.
hahah same here
haha me as well…but as that was a great CD, after I thought for a few seconds there is no way in hell people would vote that in the top 100 even.
Yeah hehe, I wouldn’t imagine it would be but I definitely didn’t see this list coming.
I’m so glad i wasnt the only one who instantly thought Dead To Fall
Wow, so even lists are two-zeros “br00tal” now? Did you get this list at Hot Topic?
However, with the exception of Slash I do agree with this list. Slash can do no wrong. You know why? Because he’s fucking Slash….that’s why.
LOL @ Mick Mars turned into a statue however… ever wonder what Teen Wolf would look like petrified? Ladies and gents..I give you Mick Mars.
XD @ the Jim Martin crack.
Fuck those pumpkins, man.
Why not:
Jim Martin- Bald
Actually, this list is pretty biased towards disappointment man. Jim’s on it but not Patton? Or did you selectively forget Patton because he’s only gotten awesomer?
Wait, there was a time when Dave Mustaine wasn’t a douchebag? I think that Dave is the shit but he’s a total asshole. On the plus side, UA was the best album that he’s made since 1992 and I feel like the era of crap ranging from Youthanasia to The World Needs a Hero is finally over. Got high hopes for the new Megadeth and new Slayer albums. :D
you’re just jealous of jim’s pumpkin growing skills.
you know when you’re reading or watching something, and you just continually laugh harder and harder as it goes on? that totally just happened to me. best ones were ozzy, & paul stanley
you need better heroes
Lol, Ozzy – Dead
It seems every person you mention that “turned into” a douchebag, pretty much always was one… It’s just a matter of coming to terms with it.
Also, lol @Dan Spitz
This list just reminds me of how awesome Phil Anselmo STILL is.
Also, you know what they say, better to burn out (Kim Thayil) than to fade away (Chris Cornell).
Now that I think about it… I believe this is more accurate:
Chris Cornell – Tom Morello
Tom Morello – Chris Cornell
Actually that should read:
Tom Morello – Chris Cornell
Chris Cornell – Timbaland
Actually now you mention it Neil Young never stopped being a fucking legend as well.
Props to the Phil Anselmo comment!
however Waking the cadaver remain SOLID AND TRVE
In time of doubt there is always Lemmy, so far he remains awesome.
amen
I second that Amen.
fucking yes
But don’t forget about Tony Iommi & Dio!
Satan!
I find this list pretty accurate, except for Scott Ian, what exactly do to have gained his tool status?
Watch VH1. You’ll see.
Oh okay, THAT. lol. Yeah i gocha.
“Most of my heroes don’t appear on no stamps!”
-Chuck D, “Fight the Power”
“Dave Mustaine – turned into a douchebag”
you say that as if he wasn’t a douchebag to begin with. Same thing with Axl Rose.
“Marty Friedman – defected to Japan”
He still shreds, but he does it while hosting KUH-RAZY japanese TV shows and guest starring on equally KUH-RAZY cooking shows. He has more recognition and fame there than he ever had here in the US.
Axl Rosenberg – failed us by being lazy, much like Zack Wylde, by using “turned into a douchebag” way too many times. And Besides, most of those who “turned into douchebags” already WERE douchbags.
And Randy Rhodes failed you by dying? He wasn’t flying the damn plane.
And do you know what you call a musician who is NOT a whore? Doing something else for a living.
we pray for villains when our heroes let us down.
XD Nice. Shoulda seen that one coming
Poor Andreas Kisser.
Im sorry but…. what the fuck you mean by “tool”??
Shepard Fairey – turned out to make real propaganda
Shepherd Fairey is and always was a fucking hack. Now he’s just a famous hack.
so what heroes do you have that are still rockin it?
I agree for the most part with Axl’s failed hero list… Chuck, Cliff, Randy, and Dime, etc., their deaths aren’t failures by their own hands… I know Bon died by drinking himself to death, so did Jimi, with the drugs, although now a roadie says his manager killed him… but I wouldn’t call the guys I previously listed ,failed heroes… I agree with Mustaine being a douchebag, but once he sobered up, he got a dose of religion, and that is a drug far more powerful than any chemical drug… all religion is basically cultism, and I for one, don’t buy into the invisible guy in the sky bullshit… I had the pleasure of meeting some of my “Heroes” while demonstrating guitars for Kramer, at the 1988 NAMM show in Chicago… not all of them were cool, Tom Araya, extremely cool, Rudy Sarzo, very cool, Tracy Guns, extremely cool, Jennifer Batten ( a goddess of guitar, then touring for Michael Jackson? ugh ) real cool… then I met George Lynch, what a fucking dick… “I don’t have time for this bullshit!” was what I got when this guy came into the booth I was demonstrating in, watched ME play, then all I did was approach him, and say I was a big fan… my band Graphic Violence was opening for Ace Frehley, at a club in New York city back in like ‘95, I was a MASSIVE Kiss fan, and asked him for an autograph, something I NEVER DO… well, he was a belligerent drunken mess, spilled his cocktail all over me, and asked where he could score some coke… NO, Ace, you are no longer a hero of mine… I agree for the most part there Axl, just not with the deaths of some of those we have lost, they are still my heroes…
dude i saw Ace back around that time my brothers band Sweet Tragedy opened for them in South Hadley MA man he was so fucking hammered lol talk about “Trouble Walkin”
…Ozzy’s dead?
pretty much
“Andreas Kisser – Derrick Green”
I like the newer Sepultura, but holy shit, did I just fall out of my chair laughing.
I think Mick Mars is a zombie…George A Romero created him. He still moves, just very slowly. And yes, Belladonna is a dick. I saw that motherfucker act like he was Hetfield or someone of status (fame) after one of their reunion shows. Just by passed all his (20 or so) fans who still gave a fuck.
Mike Patton is not on here which just makes you a retard.
And all you’re Heroes will fucking fail you too. Dead to Fall 4 life.
AMEN. That final show was insane. They need to break up again.
Jealous that you guys got to go. Dead to Fall were one of the most underrated metal bands of this decade.
Ppeople lliked Nikki Sixx??
hahaha, I laughed out loud more than once while reading this
people who don’t think dudes like Motley Crue,Kiss and 80’s and before bands/people cant be heroes obviously are young and stupid or if they were around when those bands were awesome they were probably listening to New Kids On The Block and gay shit like that and had no clue what rock and roll and metal was..Motley Crue, Kiss. Randy Rhoads,Chuck Schulinder and Cliff Burton influenced the majority of the metal bands around today in some way or another, so without them who knows
Gene Simmons wasn’t always the wind bag tool he is now. Back around 92-96 he was really cool…he was actually humble, appreciative and focused on making music, not so much on $$$. He even renounced his old blowhard ways. But as soon as the reunion happened with the original KISS and he got some serious cash flow happening again, his head grew bigger than it ever was before and unfortunately he’s been acting accordingly ever since.
gene simmons was crappy to begin with though
No, throughout the 70’s he was actually really cool. Once the make-up came off in the ’80’s and he wanted to break into other things such as acting and band management, he became this “executive rocker” douche bag. Finally around 1991-92 he realized what a tool he had been and softened up alot.
no, he always sucked. kiss sucks. always have, always will.
Well thanks for the intelligent debate.
ALL MY, HEROES ARE DEAD
I disagree with Rick Rubin on the list. The fact that he worked with Justin Timberlake just speaks to his depth of talent and musical taste, not against it. He has produced and/or helped shape or form some of the best CD’s from each genre of music. No other producer in the history of music can say that
your heroes were entertainers and puppets.
At least there’s still MANOWAR.
I’m surprised you didn’t post this video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uM5o6G2RtU
people keep saying that Mike Patton should be on the list… uh, why? Is it because he never gave a fuck about you?