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Cinemetal

ATTACK! ATTACK!’S NEW VIDEO MAKES ME WANT TO SLIT MY WRIST

 Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 at 10:25am by

I’ve had the misfortune of witnessing the debacle that is Attack! Attack!’s new video, “Stick Stickly,” on Headbangers Ball the past two weekends. The only thing that comes to mind is D.R.I.’s “Slit My Wrist” with these thought-provoking lyrics:

Every day I get more pissed
Slit my wrist, slit my wrist

Here is the Satanforsaken video for your edification:


[Corey Mitchell writes books about serial killers, mass murderers, and the evil that men do. He is also the founder of the #1 true crime blog, In Cold Blog, and does not care about your "status" today.]

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  • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Jimmy

    Obvious use of autotune that wasnt used for an effect, but rather as a crutch.

    • Martin

      I dunno. I mean, the song does absolutely blow the dirtiest balls the have ever existed. BUT, the vocals have that spacey synth effect to them. To me it sounds like they are more for effect than anything.

      • Tyler

        The vocals are auto tuned. the singer cannot sing what so ever. it is incredibly fake,

  • uLy

    LOL, they are jumping up and down like monkeys. I wonder if the director made them do this on purpose as a gag? It’d be hilarious if he did.

  • dude

    wow…i dont even have to try to make fun of this

  • dicknballs

    Me thinks this entire band should to the general music community a favor and go slit their wrists.

    And for the record, nobody should ever attempt rocking out and trying to look hardcore while playing the keyboards…just doesn’t work.

    Attack! Attack! no…more like Suck! Suck!

    • metalguy

      thats what i told your mom last night

      • Malacoda

        1

        • WinnieCO

          1

      • Ivanhoe

        that made me lol myself

  • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

    This song makes me want to slit the wrists of everyone who appears in the video…

  • Zach

    This band is actually Attack Attack! Attack! Attack! is a different band altogether. Confusing, I know, that two bands would both choose nearly the same terrible name for a band.

    • Fink

      And they both play shitty music! I guess they both felt the sound should match the name….

    • Malacoda

      What the fuck? That’s retarded

  • The Roan

    makes me ashamed to be from ohio

    • Manny

      I feel sorry for you.

    • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches of peaches

      oh god. you had to make this worse, didn’t you?

    • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

      fuck…I’m from Ohio. And these guys have played with a couple of my friends bands. One of which even mentions them under the (incredibly douche-baggery) headline of “Bands We’ve Played With”. I guess I need to cut my losses….find new friends.

      • cyrollan

        if this is my buddy Dave, then you must do this in order to reconcile

  • joshc

    not that it would really help them to quit using it, but the vocoder is ruining music for me.

  • ozzyzak

    You guys remember Stick Stickly? Man, that dude was badass.

    • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Jimmy

      From Nickelodeon!

      Fuck man, the 90s were awesome.

  • Z

    What a terrible band. They sound like every other modern “post-hardcore” band, except LOLZ TEHY R DIFFRNT TEHY USE AUTOTUNE AND HAV TEH GHEY RAVE KEYBRDS LOLOLOL

    Seriously, I wish this whole fad would go away.

  • Lee

    wow, that was fucking terrible….music for ugly 14 year old girls, I cant picture anyone else enjoying that.

    • Damotello

      Hahahaha win =D

  • bubba T

    Breakdowns do not a metal/hardcore/somethkindawhateverthefuck-core band make. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good breakdown…but damn. And how the hell do you attempt to play guitar and bass with them slung down around your ankles? Well I guess if all you play is power chords and open notes then you can.

    • Boob

      Little known fact: The breakdown was actually perfected way back in 1990 with “Domination” by Pantera. Everything since then has been unnecessary.

      • Mike

        Hell yes it did that solo Dime does i that song is fuckin crazy

        • http://www.1man1jar.com dv

          best pantera solo by far. dimebag fucking shreds

  • Agmkreptile

    is this a one man project? because the band members LOOK ALL THE FUCKING SAME!!!

    • Dorian

      Fun Trivia: Their current lead singer looks exactly like a fat version of their old lead singer. I’ve seen them both in person.

      • Keith Brown

        I’m so sorry for you

  • Johnny Death

    i dont know whats more funny. the singer running in place, or the guitarist’s “diarrhea in the woods squat”

    • Lorenzo

      Did you say that’s the greatest move ever?

      Randomly squating in a house? Check

      Squating outside? Check

      Ok guys it’s a wrap

    • Glorious Johnson

      haha, i had never seen these moves until i played a show last week and two of the bands had synchronized squat and poo breakdowns for every song. they have to know how hilarious this looks.

      • Edward

        That’s hilarious. I think you may have discovered a new sub-Genre. Crapcore :P

        • Damotello

          Soon the post-crapcore bands will be upon, they’re essentially crapcore bands except their fringes go the other direction,

          • Damotello

            *upon us

        • groverXIII

          Poopcore! I love it. (Not the video… or the song, though.)

      • ryan

        Haha!! I love it, squat and poo breakdown. :D

  • raulito

    This is totally A Metal Sucks Favorite…you guys sucks more and more each day….faggots…peace raul

  • Keith Brown

    Right now it’s 8 am ish in California and I wanna kill myself already. Thanks for ruining my day, Metalsucks. Thanks a crapload

  • GREGDOUT

    even the girl looks like she has downs

  • SheWolf

    Apparently it is possible it be awful at headbanging.

  • tyler09

    shitty video but the song aint bad

    • poopsmcgee

      hmmmm…are you sure?

    • The Roan

      uh…………what?

    • http://www.myspace.com/somethinglikesweet CJ

      Dude. Fuck.

    • Demogorgon

      Does the 9 in your name refer to your age?

      • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Jimmy

        No, it’s the year he was born.

  • Andrew

    The first 0:37 aren’t that bad – I kinda like the riff that kicks in at 0:17…but wow, when that vocoder crap starts, I don’t think I’ve ever stopped liking a song as fast as that – and everything is downhill from there

  • Dan-O

    Longest three and half minutes of my life right there. How many cliches can you spot!

  • myke

    bad metalcore they make me laugh

    • http://www.myspace.com/somethinglikesweet CJ

      No. This isn’t Metalcore. This is like Technocore or some stupid bullshit like that. I have a deep appreciation for Metalcore, but not this shit. This just pisses me off.

  • Johnny

    wow. just wow.

  • Dorian

    Seeing this much hate for the most popular thing to come out of my hometown brings me much joy. Thank you all!

    • The Roan

      Dorian are you from columbus?

      • Dorian

        Si, senor.

    • xCOOCOOKALx

      well now, i don’t think they are more popular than O.A.R., those guys are dreamy.

    • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

      Dig your band dude. I reside around the Dayton area. You guys should head over this way for a show :)

  • j-rock

    You don’t even have to watch the video, the prompt screen alone lets you know were this is heading.

  • jackattack

    I can just imagine how pumped these panzies were when they came up with that cute little number at :59.

    • Agmkreptile

      WIN

  • ZapBranigan

    Generic as fuck. I bet that took them a whole 5 minutes to write that song.

    And who thought it was a good idea to put a dance beat at the end of that?

    Awful, just awful.

  • bob

    making fun of this is as easy as making emo kids depressed.just the same this is the gayest thing ever and I’ve watched gay porn so I know gay when it is put before me.
    I don’t think I would be as happy if suck bands like this didn’t exist, contrast baby, contrast.

  • seagoat

    Bad. And why are they all humping their instruments?

    • Demogorgon

      Its the only action they will get all year

  • Zombie(really)

    Attack Attack THIS band!!!!

  • Gigantic Faggots

    This video makes me rage.

    • Watty

      1

  • Drew

    I can count about 8 times during this video where i thought “they cant be serious. Can they?” Then the dance beat came in and then i thought for sure this had to be weird al’s new project or something then i remembered that this is what is brootal and cool these days. Also why were u watching headbangers ball? Never have i thought “hey that was a cool video i need to check them out later”

  • MAIDENMAIDENMAIDEN

    MONKEY SQUAT FTL

  • Mynamesucks

    They all look like they are humping lol!

  • ee

    looks like it could be a hawthourne hights video.

    • xCOOCOOKALx

      ANOTHER shitty ohio band!

  • Sammy

    Well Corey, I sometimes agree with you and sometimes don’t. But you are so right on with this one. To disagree with your sentiment would be to admit my IQ is 65.

  • Edika

    Well they can cut all the “heavy” parts and have a crappy pop song. At least there will be people that will enjoy this (Mr. Hankey maybe). Crapcore it is! Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Charlie B

    Wow, a band that is actually worse than IWABO.

  • Spaceman_Jones

    Damn sceneagers and their br00talz hxc shit. All the scene haircutcore faggiots at my school like this band

  • Spaceman_Jones

    Why the hell do they need two guitarist and a bass player?

  • grymmbear

    This video makes me want to hump my bass.

    And dude, is the drummer’s parted hair different from everyone else’s? Did he NOT get the memo that the hair is to be parted exactly like the rest of the band?

    And kudos to the monkey-faced guitarist at the 1:17 mark.

  • Brock

    Everything about this is all wrong. Despite all the horrid things in this video/about this band, why do they feel the need to all look exactly the same. It’s like Octomom started a family band or something.

  • Dorian

    I feel a responsibility to try to rep some real Columbus metal. Wise up, kids:

    myspace.com/deadsea – Prog/Death/Thrash

    myspace.com/locusta614 – Death/Thrash

    myspace.com/artillerybreath – Thrash/Death

    http://www.myspace.com/teethofthehydra – Stoner/Thrash

    myspace.com/skeletonwitch – Athens, OH is close enough. Hehe.

  • jamie

    three reasons why I hate this band even more than I did before:
    1. jumping up and down.
    2. running in place.
    3. doing squats. aka, looking like they’re taking a massive shit.

    This is why I hate associating myself with ohio.

    • Viridian

      You also forgot points 4 and 5. Starting a song with a breakdown and looking like cunts.

  • metalguy

    i love the part were they both flip their guitars over their head and kick their legs out at exactly the same time\. i watched it again on mute just to laugh at them again

  • tjangles

    dear god…….
    I havent laughed this hard in ages. The choreographed head-banging and the guitar flips were fucking terrible. lol at 0:59

  • holmes

    They aren’t as funny looking as the band Immortal in all of their videos…

  • Byron W.

    I can’t wait for the day when these idiots wake up and realise how stupid they looked….

    That day will be a priceless one… for sure…

  • SolaceInNothing

    The obvious visual idiocy aside, Metal Injection made a great point about the song itself. It literally sounds like 2 completely different songs spliced toghether. There is absolutely no cohesion, the song just changes back and forth . . . terrible.

  • lokiskywalker

    The last minute is officially the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.

  • festernaecus

    that’s it, don’t even try to sing in key. let Antares do the work. fucking chumps. I run live sound here in portland, and would you believe I actually dealt with a high school kid using the hardware version of autotune at his show? There is now a whole subset of baby musicians who think learning how to sing at all is completely unnecessary. Words cannot express my disgust and contempt.

  • fightingmike

    This is the worst shit! Super generic breakdown, super boring wimpy-ass emo singing, 30 seconds in and I couldnt take anymore. GAY and LAME!

  • http://www.metalsucks.net/ David Bee Roth

    This is an outstanding achievement in suck, people! Every minute is worse than the last!

  • Jizzmaster3000

    The below music video is the only thing that could salvage my life after watching this drek.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQAKRw6mToA

  • 20 eyes

    Dude… DRI and these dudes shoudlnt EVER be mentioned again in the same article.

    i am not impressed.

  • http://www.pandasdestroy.com jorbams

    Yo high school must have been INTENSE for these dudes if they produce such dark and heavy shit like this.

    Dad can only tell you to take the trash out so many times before you just fuckin’ lose it!

  • linh

    i can’t even believe this was on headbanger’s ball.
    …sickening.

    • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Jimmy

      Really? You can’t believe this song was on an MTV owned metal show?

  • http://www.TheMetalReporter.net TMR

    WOW !

    That doesn’t count as music, does it ?

  • johnnywhoopass

    what an emo core hard punk bunch of homos every gay thing that can be done in a metal video was done here including the always so cool headbanging in unison. and the ever so popular low guitar im so metal haircuts and emo whinebag singing what a bunch of shit punching ass pirates, NICE HARDCORE RIFFAGE UR SO HARDCORE. CUT YOUR HAIR FOR FUCKS SAKES

  • http://www.myspace.com/stonecuttersky Cliff

    That was by far some of the worst shit I’ve ever heard. Or saw.

  • http://www.ulrlfc.co.uk Fionnbharr

    The view of the singer’s gut at 2:54 makes me smile :) :)

  • Malacoda

    Wow. It’s almost as bad as Oceano. Hard to tell the difference, as they both start with breakdowns.

  • I

    I absolutly loved this video. After my buddy first show me this(were he also watched it on HB) I have seen it probably 4 or 5 times. But only because it makes me laugh so fucking hysterical that I almost piss myself. But no seriously, this is pure shit.

  • King Cheezit

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I thought the exact same thing when I saw this on Headbanger’s Ball as well! I turned it off immediately and began sending it as a joke to my friends on facebook. One kid commented on my post and said how much he liked the song. I deleted him from my friends. I already had to listen to him claim The Chariot was a good band, I can’t take it anymore.

    • She

      wow…that is the worst reason EVER to delete a friend.

      • http://www.coreymitchell.com Corey Mitchell

        Not really.

        • N1ghtsn1p3r

          I did the same thing with a similar situation. Friend A posted that BMTH sucks, and I replied in agreement. Friend B posted on his own wall “whining” about Friend A saying that that band sucked and I replied that I agreed with A and that that the band has always sucked. Friend B jumped on Friend A’s aforementioned status and starts an argument with me over subgenres (I don’t want to get into farther details, but basically he got all butthurt over me disliking the “scene” bands and telling me that I know nothing about music). B started whining to somebody else that I always hate on his and another friend’s music preferences (starting with an “enjoy your pit ninjas” joke when they said they were going to Warped Tour). The other friend understood that I was joking.

          I deleted him, partly because I got tired of him talking about all these crappy bands and posting their lyrics and him getting butthurt over my opinions, especially when I’m joking around.

  • Aaron R A

    I hate when people shit talk bands, but damn…. That is potentially the largest steaming pile of shit I’ve ever seen.

  • timmah

    that drummer plays with the worst technique i’ve ever seen…wonder how many takes it took him to nail those parts in the studio

    • Critik

      The producer of most of Rise Records’ acts doesn’t have the drummer play at all. They use a drum sequencer and sampling program in the studio (called BFD) to “make” the beats. At no time is a drum kit ever recorded or played on the record. The guitars are a POD XT. This is the most fake type of music you could possibly make in every way.

  • Metal J.

    Hmmmm….These jagoffs immediately made me reminisce:

    Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
    One fell off and bumped his head.
    Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said,
    “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

    Four little monkeys jumping on the bed,
    One fell off and bumped her head.
    Papa called the Doctor and the Doctor said,
    “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

    Three little monkeys jumping on the bed,
    One fell off and bumped his head.
    Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said,
    “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

    Two little monkeys jumping on the bed,
    One fell off and bumped her head.
    Papa called the Doctor and the Doctor said,
    “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

    One little monkey jumping on the bed,
    He fell off and bumped his head.
    Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said,
    “Put those monkeys straight to bed!”

    No more of these five emo MONKEYS!!!!!!

    • Adam

      you called them jagoffs, might you be from the best city ever Pittsburgh?

  • Josh

    I wanna kick that singer in the dick. I seriously hope this isn’t a show of realistic stage presence. Jesus. Music’s not absolutely terrible, but they just look like fucking retards.

  • Tervis

    Bass & Guitar playing looks really stupid…

  • Meat

    The only good thing about this post is that you mentioned D.R.I.

  • Lady Luck

    Shit like this could have passed as funny about 4 years ago. Now it’s just plain sad.
    But i do commend them on sulking so much, and slamming doors that little bit harder to make mummy crumble and getting them those matching t-shirts they wanted so badly. Unfortunatly that thought only distrated me from their shittyness for about a second.

  • http://www.anlace.org Gothian

    What a piece of shit !!

  • towerofdoom

    damn these guys look fucking dumb as hell in person.

  • Anthony

    im glad im not the only one who noticed the random squatting. wtf

  • Mike

    Thanks to this video and that Motionless in white bullshit i saw on headbangers ball i am no longer watching that show

  • ocsibrm

    metal band that wears a lot of black makes song with shitty lyrics. Alert the media.

  • Rapist

    timmah says:
    June 10, 2009 at 1:49 am

    that drummer plays with the worst technique i’ve ever seen…wonder how many takes it took him to nail those parts in the studio<— Dude is actually a fantastic drummer, just playing in a non-fantastic band.

    • Critik

      Except the chance that he played on the record is ZERO. Talk to other bands that have worked with Joey Sturgis–he doesn’t record drums, he sequences them and uses samples. You can HEAR the drums are fake on the track! The guitars aren’t real either–pure POD. However, Rise Records loves it because he charges less than 200 a day for recording. The best way to make money is to cut costs on making the album and sell a few records. There’s no way a band like this is going to move more than 20,000 albums, so you don’t want to spend 100k on a record or you’ll lose money.

      • http://www.concatenationrecords.com Kodiak

        Just for clarification – a POD doesn’t make the guitars fake, since you still have to play the guitar through the POD. You’re thinking of direct line recording, which saves time over micing the amps, but generally results in a lower-quality recording. Still, if you’re going for a more washed-out sound (think fuzz), direct lining the guitars can work just fine.

  • http://Myspace.comJohnSatan666 Wigsplitter

    Man all these muterfucking Pieces of shit look like they have down syndrome squatting with their instruments. Good this band is horrors(Not good horrors) to MY EARS!!!!!!!!! this not music.This IS CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. They “try” acting hardcore. What did they watch a Hatebreed video before they went to shoot this shitty video. FUCK ATTACK ATTACK!

  • underscore

    this band is actually not as bad as the video, you just have to get to know the music. I didn’t like it the first time I listened to it either.

  • drumb

    I love that the vid has been removed by the user, and I can’t watch it to settle this alleged fake drums debacle. I assume they are probably triggered, like alot of lazy Producers nowadays.
    Having played drums for more than 35 years, and painstakingly learned how to properly mic them live and in-studio, I hate this recent use of triggers. It’s lazy, uncreative and sounds like shit… period.
    I have to weigh-in with Kodiac, you idiots that are so quick to criticize about guitar skills or recording techniques who have never picked up an instrument or recorded anything are fucking hilarious.
    This band DO, however, look like goofs.

  • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

    Man, I bet seeing all these comments hurt their wittle feelings. Next story on Blabbermouth “Attack! Attack! calls it quits” hahaha!

  • raul

    Metal sucks favorite band…You guys indeed suck!………….Emmure Bitch!

  • The Dude

    Lulz. I thought that girls in music videos were supposed to be hot.

  • YEAH ATTACK ATTACK

    I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF YOU R TALKIN BOUT. ATTACKATTACK IS TEH BEST BAND IN THE ENTIRE PLANET AND ALL YOU LSORES CAN GO LISTN TO SLAYER AND BLACKGUARD AND WHATNOT

    ATTACKATTACK 4 LIFE XXXXxxxXXXxxxxXXXXX7718182930030304938