MetalSucks

Hi everybody! I’m back from my two week vacation! Did you miss me? What, you didn’t know I was gone? Fuck you in the face!

Well anyway, I missed some of you, mainly the hideously unattractive and socially awkward noise rock aficionados that read my stupid column for jerks. So it gives me great pleasure to report that Pissed Jeans will released its third album on August 18. King Of Jeans, the group’s second full-length for Sub Pop, is the follow-up to 2007’s Hope For Men, a damned modern classic of sleazy gutter-level rock inspired and emboldened by the tradition of David Yow and The Jesus Lizard. Though I have yet to hear any of this new material, I anticipate nothing short of fucking awesomeness from tracks with lascivious titles like “Human Upskirt” and “Request for Masseuse”.

Other than grunge-era stalwarts Mudhoney, Pissed Jeans is pretty much the only “heavy” band signed to Sub Pop these days. It’s a damn shame that the label responsible for heralding uncouth acts like The Dwarves and TAD has basically turned into a commune for twee folkies and lazy popsters. Let’s hope they have the good sense to sign Tad Doyle’s Brothers Of The Sonic Cloth–if he’d allow it, that is! After all, the press release for King Of Jeans calls the man out by name, so that’s the least it could do! So, come on, Sup Pop. Consider this a plea from a special boy who was forever changed by the best your label had to offer circa 1992!

-GS

[Gary Suarez is a longtime supporter of outstanding children's television. He also writes for Brainwashed and usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]