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Worst Week Ever

IN WHICH YOU BITCHED ABOUT THE LIST

 Friday, June 12th, 2009 at 6:12pm by

So I just watched Faith No More’s Download Fest perf. I only saw one pair of boobies, and they were terrible boobies. On the other hand, FNM killed it and played “Take This Bottle” and Patton did part of “We Care A Lot” while doing sit-ups with the mic in his mouth, so ya take the good with the bad.

Speaking of the good with the bad: we started to unveil the results of our 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far poll/list this week, and as usual, y’all had something to say about it:

  • SP420 thinks it’s “unbelievable that so many people hold” the #17 album, Hatebreed’s Perseverance, “in such high regard.” Sp420, Jamey Jasta will be at your house in one hour to discuss.
  • ionlanach thinks that the #18 album, Lamb of God’s New American Gospel, is “Mediocre, just like everything Lamb of God have ever done.” Even Randy Blythe’s BBQ sauce is offended
  • I hate you thinks that if the #19 album, Mastodon’s Remission, “was your first metal album, you are gay” and that “metal is obviously not your fortay.” In other news, I hate you doesn’t know how to spell “forté” correctly.
  • Fufkin calls the #20 album, Shadows Fall’s The War Within, “metalbore.” While I don’t agree with him (her?), that’s just clever enough for me not to make fun of Fufkin.
  • Robert thinks that the #21 album, Slipknow’s Vol 3: The Subliminal Verses, is “sort of a pile of shit.” Which leads me to wonder: at what point does something go from being “sort of” a pile of shit to, y’know, an actual pile of shit?

Next week we’re countin’ down albums #16 through #12. The picks are clearly either gonna make you guys really fuckin’ happy or really fuckin’ mad. I’ll give you a hint, though: they’re all metal albums.

-AR

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  • http://www.myspace.com/dontclickhereyoufuck enterthegrave

    can’t fucking wait for new voivod.

  • Cisco

    I happen to think the list is pretty awesome, regardless of whether or not I agree with the placement of the record or if the band is deserving of any praise for that matter.

  • http://myspace.com/mykee666 Metal Mykee

    Slipknow!!

  • iolanach

    Given that my nick is a misspelling of Absu’s Ioldanach, i think it’s only fair that you guys misspelled it as well.

  • bearwizard

    I have seen the list, lake bukkake is #1.

  • dustinyo

    What I find most funny is how seriously people are taking this list. As if we’re all required to change our tastes now because of it.

    One thing I’ve never understood, especially from metalheads who should know first hand, why people care and whine so much about someone having different tastes?

    Look at it this way, Britney Spears fans are going to give you equally judgmental looks and accuse you of satanism whether you listen to Slipknot, Opeth, Job for a Cowboy, Lamb of God, Megadeth, etc, etc, etc.

    Don’t act like Britney Spears fans people, we’re all metalheads, who cares if someone likes something different.

    • Gary S.

      STOP MAKING SENSE!

    • SP420

      But the point of the internet is to disagree and argue.

    • http://www.myspace.com/437666934 Noel

      ya, but same could be said about, i dont know….ALL MUSIC!!?!!?! being a ‘metalhead’ has less to do with it, but more so just realizing music is music.

      saying “we’re all metalheads, who cares if someone likes something different.” is like saying “hey, were all white people here, so lets act like that unites us for some reason. but those black people, ohh, fuck them.”

      • Double D

        hahaha! nice one!

      • http://www.anlace.org Gothian

        Yeah… fuck them HAHAHAHAHA

        • Double D

          I didn’t mean it like that…

          • http://www.myspace.com/437666934 Noel

            nore did I…

      • Sean Pulatie

        …so you’re comparing music tastes to racism?

        …wow.

        Why do I even fucking bother?

  • http://www.crackcesshollywood.com Farhaad

    My goal in life is to get an end of the week mention. Maybe I should start hating on shit…

  • da wreck

    I hope we see the Strapping Young Lad album City. If we don’t, I might whine and piss and moan about it not being there… Oh wait, then again, I might do nothing about it. Actually, yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

    • Anselmowitz

      Dude City was before 2000, 97 to be precise (Thankyou wiki). But yeah, you know SYL will be in there, its been mostly big American metal bands so far, no chance for Scepter of the Ancients. Im keen to see where Stench of Redemption places (& it should place cuz it was poetry).

      • http://www.last.fm/user/BootScraperSean Anger Unmanagement

        Actually i think Alien deserves to be on the list, i think its fucking awesome. Though true lesser known bands with good albums may be ignored which is a shame but it is all down to those questioned and majority of them are american who may vote home grown, but obviously there is no such thing as prejudice in metal, is there?

  • Mary

    I love the sarcasm its why i keep coming back to this site! keep on mocking the fuck out of each other it’s better than watching Brett michaels get beat with a prop!

  • ihateyou

    Thanks for mentioning me! Oh yeah sorry for misspelling forté incorrectly, I was just angry that Mastodon was mentioned at all. You writers are so coreish. You know nothing about music and are pure geeks. I guarantee that you never get laid. You are the type of guys who sit in the back of the bar alone at a show and drink one beer, paid for with your allowance money your mommy gave you. Seriously dudes, start writing about metal bands who are worth mentioning, not the run-of-the-mill garbage that you always write about. Just ridiculous.

    • lolwut

      “metal bands who are worth mentioning, not the run-of-the-mill garbage that you always write about. Just ridiculous.”

      oh wise one enlighten us with your wisdom

      • Ihateyou

        Fuck you.

    • Fizzy G

      They do write about Sigh, that deserves some mention.

    • Santi

      dude shut the fuck up, if you don’t like it then why do you go on this website?
      Personally I’m into Scandinavian metal, which they never mention here, but I still find this site to be really funny and entertaining.
      Besides just because you don’t like their music taste, it doesn’t make it bad, you sound like one of those 13 year old kids on youtube.
      And I’m really curious to know, what do you consider good bands?

      • Ihateyou

        Fuck you. Scandinavian metal is fully gay. Haha.

        • Santi

          Damn awesome comeback!
          Fucking loser

          • Ihateyou

            Thanks! I realize that I am awesome and a gift to mankind. You listen to metalcore.

          • Santi

            didn’t I just say I listen to Scandinavian metal…?
            I think you belong in a ESE class

          • ihateyou

            No. I belong lodged in your mothers deep asshole.

          • Santi

            damn thats original..

          • ihateyou

            Yes it was, you fucking pussy. Seriously, you are probably the biggest pussy in real life. You listen to shitty fuckin metal. You never get laid. You have a two inch penis. You live with your mom. You are one of those fuckin interweb critics who actually has no knowledge of metal or music at all. Go down to the garage, put a hose in the exhaust pipe of your mom`s shitty car and start suckin bitch.

    • http://www.myspace.com/437666934 Noel

      if your so busy constantly gettin laid, why do you sit infront of the computer to comment some stupid blog that doesnt even talk about bands that you like?

      • Ihateyou

        Because I can. Fuck you.

      • ihateyou

        Because you can only jizz so many times in one day! And Noel is an extremely gay name. I bet you are a homosexual tweaker.

    • Harry

      I’m like, 65% sure this guy is a troll.

      • Ihateyou

        This is 100% true.

    • Agad

      It is funny when someone has zero argument and they resort to generalized insults. Awww dude you like totally never get laid!

      • ihateyou

        Actually, I get laid constantly by my hot ass girlfriend. You are gay and probably have HIV. Think of something worth posting before clicking submit next time you fucking retard.

  • Robert

    “at what point does something go from being “sort of” a pile of shit to, y’know, an actual pile of shit?”

    When it is Slipknot.

  • Fizzy G

    “I’ll give you a hint, though: they’re all metal albums.”

    Oh good, nice change for the list so far.

    • The Ghost of D. Boon

      ZOMGLOL

  • MetalRod

    ahhh, i’m so glad i found this site! so much enjoyment, especially when i’ve been drinking.

  • facefacefack

    If it’s more crap like slipknot and hatebreed then no, it won’t all be metal.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shadow_patton Patton

    I really hope there are some none American bands on this list, would be kinda biased if there wasn’t any.

  • awesomeo

    This list is obviously shit because it’s made by labels and people in terrible metalcore bands, whos knowledge of metal goes as far as Arch Enemy.

    Next time get the fan to create a list.

  • dawreck

    Anselmowitz: good call. I was thinking of one of my favorites, not even taking into consideration the 21st century part of this whole list. Well, yeah then maybe Alien or SYL.

  • Anus Apache

    Number One Album : Get Rich or Die Trying NUKKKAAASSSS

  • g

    im assuming we’ll probably see opeth – blackwater/ghost reveries, syl – alien, killswitch – aojb/eoh, arch enemy – wages of sin, maybe arsis – celebration of guilt, maybe gojira, maybe something from in flames or soilwork

    i really hope we dont see as i lay crying or devildriver or matt heafy’s ugly mug up here

    • Hassman

      Sadly, I believe the last three bands will be on the list.

      :(

      • http://148gb.blogspot.com loganarchy

        Yeah, the way things are going, I bet Trivium is gonna be on the list. Not that I’m complaining- Trviium is a good band.

        • ihateyou

          Hahahahaha. Trivium is a good band. Hhahahahahahahaha. Jesus.

  • Meat

    Yes, these morons bitch a lot…. but the fact that they show up EVERY DAY to bitch about what you have to say obviously means you are doing something right. I can proudly say I am not one of those morons and will probably get ripped for it. Keep it up. \m/

  • http://www.anlace.org Gothian

    And what exactly were you expecting?… just asking

  • zhitnik

    If there is any Opeth on there, and it isn’t Deliverance, then I will probably be a bit irked. I mean, Blackwater and Ghost Reveries are great albums, but Deliverance is a friggin masterpiece…belongs in my top 5.

  • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

    you guys seriously rated “the war within” above “the art of balance”?

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      i read good blog now. eat food. make poop.

      • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

        n/m. don’t mind me. i’m high as fuck.

  • http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8345/outside21.jpg Revrant

    “Which leads me to wonder: at what point does something go from being “sort of” a pile of shit to, y’know, an actual pile of shit?”

    When the list includes DEP.

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      “irony is a dead scene” owns you.

      • http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8345/outside21.jpg Revrant

        The name alone makes a sensible person cringe.

  • Blake

    Or Disturbed.

  • clique bullshit!

    I assumed metal was a free art form, turns out it’s a highly conservative, terrified little clique.

    …bummer.

  • Harry

    I think part of the problem with the list is the system of ranking which heavily favors bland, mainstream albums. I imagine what happened is that most of the voters put some really great metal albums at the top of their list, and then filled out the rest with some more mainstream ones that everybody’s heard. Because the points for albums add up over the lists, the albums that are just okay get represented too well and the real gems that may have made people’s #1 but aren’t as popular don’t get as many points as they should.

    For example, if I rank some awesome album as my #1 it gets 21 points. But if me and some other dude put a blander mainstream album as each of our #10, it gets 24 points.

    • Double D

      Borda count

  • Tanner

    Judging by whats already on the list, Im gonna make some WiLd guesses for the rest of it:

    Nevermore: Dead Heart, In a Dead World
    Killswitch Engage: Alive or Just Breathing
    All that Remains: The Fall of Ideals
    Machine Head: THe Blackening
    Children of Bodom: Hate Crew Deathroll
    Tool: Lateralus
    Lamb of God: Ashes of the Wake
    Arch Enemy: Wages of Sin
    Opeth: Blackwater Park

    • http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8345/outside21.jpg Revrant

      You forgot The Dillinger Escape Plan.

    • Sean Pulatie

      Why do so many fucking people like “Ashes of the Wake”? Fucking seriously. “Now You’ve Got Something To Die For”? REALLY?

      Don’t get me wrong – I’m a huge LOG fan. Probably the best metal band on the planet right now. “Wrath” is one of the best things I’ve heard come out of a metal band in years. But “As The Palaces Burn” fucking owns “AotW”. Easily.

      • Tanner

        Touche, i myself like Palaces the best of all their material but i assumed the poll voters picked Ashes above all

  • plumber

    “Are you douches ever happy?” That’s awesome…nicely done Metal Sucks crew. And being metal fans yourselves you know the answer to that question….

  • -gODGRINDER-

    Is it bad that I just now noticed that the Oracle statues from “The Neverending Story” had nipples?

    That’s hot.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/Demigod1 Tyler

    “you guys seriously rated “the war within” above “the art of balance”?”

    People don’t get that metal musicians/producers/people that work for labels voted for these albums, not just the guys at metalsucks.

    Also, those boobs were awful, and so was the body of the person with said boobs.