LIFE POOPS ON JANI LANE
Monday, June 22nd, 2009 at 12:00pm by Axl RosenbergLast week, fat drunk fuck/on-again-off-again Warrant “vocalist” Jani Lane was arrested on a DUI charge; now The Detroit News is reporting that he owes $121,024 (geez that’s a precise number) in federal income taxes.
(The article’s author, Robert Snell, even makes a joke about Warrant’s debut album was called Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich. Oh, Robert, you scamp!)
All I can really say to this is: seriously, dude? I know that times are tough all around and Warrant ain’t the megastars they used to be, but come ON. You live on a liquid diet. Where is all the money going? And don’t try to tell me that this didn’t help pay the bills at all:
Even if all Arby’s paid you for the use of your masterpiece was a lifetime supply of Bacon Cheddar RoastBurgers – which, by all appearances, may very well be the case – then you’d still be saving cash.
Man. Some people just don’t know when they have it good.
-AR
[via Blabbermouth]
At least heaven isn’t too far away
Im so hungry I could eat at Arby’s!
It would be so much easier to bag on the guy if he was experiencing some kind of career second wind (a la Michaels) but this is just sad. Even I am above kicking this pathetic soul while he’s down.
Dude, why would you even drag Warrant into this mess considering they were okay with Jamie St.James(Black-N-Blue) & now,supposedly, better with Robert Mason(Lynch Mob). It’s not their fault that Jani Lane is a f*cking alcoholic.
which, by all appearances, may very well be the case
What does cherry pie have to do with Arby’s. Yes, I know the subtext, but still, didn’t someone in the marketing meeting raise their hand and say, “Um, guys, why is the food ‘cherry pie’ being given to our viewers when we’re trying to sell sandwiches? There has *got* to be another chauvinistic song we could use…” But maybe no one felt comfortable raising such an obvious point.
I think this is one of the greatest posts ever. I’m still laughing because I can picture Jani living on that bench in a few years.