FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN THE NEW VOIVOD AND COALESCE CDs!

Thursday, June 25th, 2009 at 4:04pm by Vince Neilstein

funny prepubescent metal kidCongrats to Mr. Lun, the winner of new Darkane, Devin Townsend and Edguy CDs from last week’s funny photo caption contest. Mr. Lun’s winning caption to the photo at right:

“Jimmy gets a taste (and whiff) of the good life at the 2009 Wigger Slam Initiate orientation.”

This week the good folks at Relapse Records have donated copies of Voivod’s Infinfi and Coalesce’s Ox, both brand spankin’ new, to send to one lucky winner. Just come up with a caption to the below photo and they’re yours.

metal kid

Tags: , ,

132 COMMENTS on “FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN THE NEW VOIVOD AND COALESCE CDs!”

  1. Jevilicious says:

    Little Timmy turned to “the man above” and asked him if it was ok to show shirtless guy and guy-with-the-cap-that-looks-like-kid-rock “what it’s like to really rock!”

  2. =lung= says:

    “Lord, are these the two schmucks I should smite? Give me a sign.”

  3. Avail73 says:

    “Ok mom, dad told me to throw the horns like THIS, but his band sure does suck”

  4. kylemurder says:

    Looking up at the singer, Andre the Giant.

  5. yanky says:

    is this how you throw the horns, mommy?

  6. Ryd1ZZ says:

    “Am I doing it right?”

  7. bearwizard says:

    Stryper reunion ‘09

  8. canea says:

    “Put down thy horns or I will pee on you again, my child,” said Jesus from somewhere far above the neighborhood metal venue.

  9. The Greys says:

    “Yes, Lord Dio, I will smite the douchbag in the Ozzy-Sabbath shirt. I make the unholy hand sign in homage onto thee.”

  10. Gary S. says:

    Jose Mangin (age undetermined) throws his first horns.

  11. bucketochicken says:

    As the band tears into their opening number, Ziltoid lowers his “horns” and cries to heaven in jaw-clenched anger, “THIS IS NOT METAL!”

  12. “Did the singer just spit on that midget?”

  13. slay_her says:

    “After implementing a br00tal regimen of bedroom push-ups, milk jug curls, and a healthy dose of Muscle Milk, Brendan decided to debut his newly acquired ‘guns’ while having a leisurely sit on a speaker cabinet at his local community center/ venue.”

  14. \m/Eluveitie\m/ says:

    Mommy, how did your undies get up there?

  15. Sleepy D says:

    “It’s just like Guitar Hero: Creed, mom.”

  16. Anus Apache says:

    Seized by his prepubescent satchel by the claws of Satan, the child got his METAL on.

  17. elevendy says:

    This is my curse.

  18. \m/Eluveitie\m/ says:

    Don’t laugh, someday this kid will be bigger than Dio

  19. sYgnal says:

    Mommy? I don’t think I’m supposed to throw horns at Phish…Mommy?

  20. Permafrost says:

    Yet another rare sighting of Ryan Seacrest at a recent Five Finger Death Punch concert.

  21. tjangles says:

    Mommy, what is that woman doing naked on stage?

  22. Malacoda says:

    What, Mommy? Don’t throw the horns during breakdowns?

  23. Thaddeus says:

    And so began one young boy’s terrifying introduction to crowd surfing.

  24. \m/Eluveitie\m/ says:

    I think we should all take this time not to make jokes and laugh, but to hope and pray for the safety and health of Michael Jackson…please don’t leave us King of Pop, it’s not your time

  25. Epic_soupage says:

    “The V.I.P. section of the new Emmure, Whitechapel, and Oceano “STRAIGHTEDGE XXX DRUGS R BAD” 2009 tour”

  26. Adam C Paul says:

    “Mom!?? This band sucks….Can we go see Tankard? Pleeaase!!?”

  27. Froogle says:

    Damn it Dream Theater are boring, please God, make the keyboard solo end…

  28. Carl says:

    Andrew’s Drowning Pool balloon then floated to the ceiling, never to return again…

  29. Adam C Paul says:

    “Mom! What the f$#% does ‘Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious’ mean?!”

  30. Richie Rich says:

    I’m great at this. Pick one:
    .
    1 – Watch out Bret Michaels! The curtain is coming down fast!
    2- Hey lady, my band’s up next! We’re called the Beige Stripes.
    3- Hey I have another joke for you mom: what has 9 arms and suck? …

  31. Jonny Popcorn says:

    Woman, when I get you home… PREPARE FOR “THE SHOCKER”!!!

  32. Vikingfromhell890 says:

    Hey mommy, this is better than Neverland Ranch.

  33. Adam C Paul says:

    “Rotting while they breathe…Death comes slow?…?”

  34. Adam C Paul says:

    “Man…I wish Cliff was here…”

  35. 20 eyes says:

    The one that got away… from dino.

  36. metalguy says:

    kids looking for something; anything better than Brokencyde to fall out of the sky

  37. cripples says:

    Aaron watched the next 25 years of his trashy little life flash before his eyes, and nearby, Jesus wept.

  38. D_Grimby says:

    Mommy, why does the church basement smell like Uncle John’s jacket?

  39. MackYourFace says:

    “Look mom, I’m up front like you were when you got pregnant by the lead singer of Scene Kidz.”

  40. MrC says:

    Tiny Tim looks up to realise, yes, he is in hell and yes, Waking the Cadaver are playing.

  41. Leo says:

    “mommy which one did you say was my daddy?”

  42. Urban Outdoorsman says:

    Mommy, is that a REAL douchebag wearing the Black Sabbath shirt?

  43. \m/Eluveitie\m/ says:

    You’re damn right I’m gonna be pissed off! I bought that pig at Pink Floyd’s yardsale!

  44. Pancho says:

    Shirtless guy: “Dude, I’m totally freaking out…I mean, those can’t be the Donnas rocking out with a little kid, can they?”

  45. Colin says:

    ‘Are you sure Spongebob Squarepants is gonna be here, Mommy?”

  46. Mr. Root says:

    “Kid having seizures after listening the single of Marilyn Mason with Lady Gaga”

  47. MohawkDaddy says:

    Who knew Wilt Chamberlain could rock?

  48. MohawkDaddy says:

    While on tour, Udo Dirkschneider enjoys encouraging local talent.

  49. (required) says:

    Hey bitch, beer me another Scotch and cookies. My buzz is wearing off and I have to stay here and hex the shit out of these Alter Bridge fuckers.

  50. Some Random Dude says:

    Before Lil’ Archie realized it, the constant motion of his ‘devil horns’ had caused his power rangers balloon to slip from his wrist. At that moment, as the balloon drifted into the rafters, Lil’ Archie learned the true meaning of ‘Brutal’.

  51. Mars says:

    The Great Southern Trendkid

  52. Justin Foley says:

    “I go to shows … I go to work … I go straight home … I stay away from schools and Chucky Cheez … I’m doing JUST like my probation officer says … I’m, I’m doing EVERYTHING right and it’s still like … like, LITTLE BOYS FOLLOW ME AROUND EVERYWHERE and it’s SO FUCKING HARD to HOLD BACK…”

  53. Eric M. says:

    And now, for the first time available on DVD, you can see the original ending to the Academy Award nominated film August Rush.

  54. plumber says:

    Mommy, is this REAL metal?

  55. Human #18462957 says:

    Proof that autistic kids are metal

  56. Longhair says:

    “Mommy what’s Tinnitus?”

  57. Taron Keim says:

    Tommy looks to heaven and ponders “is it a sin to rock out?”

  58. bearwizard says:

    What the fuck is on the ceiling?

  59. Chimp-0-Neg says:

    Ziltoid: “Meh….”

  60. WyldeRhoads88 says:

    “Oh look! Michael Jackson’s record sales are finally up . . .”

  61. Shane Gillis says:

    “Hey God, if you’re listening, please let this evening turn out better than the Great White show my parents were barbecued at.”

  62. Piero says:

    “Mom, was Chris Cornell better than that before ?”

  63. RobotScythe says:

    “Wow, Disneyland has really gone downhill since the last time I was here.”

  64. Andyman says:

    Mom, I love you…but if I have to ask you one more time to go get me a fucking beer, I swear to God I will cut you.

  65. dicknballs says:

    “Hey Mom, promise me you’ll never dress me up like a scene fag please..”

  66. Bruta lJay says:

    It warms my heart to see kids getting hooked on metal early. No funny comment.

  67. TurdFerguson says:

    My dad’s the bass player? Why couldn’t you hold out and do the singer instead you dirty whore!

  68. Chimp-0-Neg says:

    Giant bird flies off with 7 year old’s middle fingers.

  69. Jack says:

    OLD SKULL REUNION!!!

  70. edu says:

    Kid : SLAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEER !!!!

  71. Stiggs says:

    “Wow, they have fireworks in here? You were right, mommy, Great White is going to be cool!”

  72. Duran says:

    Even Fred Durst charges his own children to watch their shows. A wigga gotta make moneyz ya’ll. Hollah

  73. Isaac Ortega says:

    “Mom, are you sure this Voivod guy was with Metallica? He’s actually good!”

  74. Dillon says:

    No no no, Jimmy! The band is THAT way!

  75. thankyoudoor says:

    With every devil horns little Damien throws, Barney the Purple Dinosaur weeps.

  76. Grimcicle says:

    “Mommy, it was those two guys on stage who touched me.”

  77. Chad E. Death says:

    On the Next Episode of Little People Big world Jimmy throws his horns up and rages

  78. jason says:

    No caption, but did anyone else notice that the shirtless guy on the side of the stage looks like he’s smelling his own armpit? Oh..just me…OK. Nevermind.

  79. jorbams says:

    As Naz-T Demonz get ready to absolutely DESTROY Mr. Bill’s Wings n’ Drafts Bar’s downstairs stage, Lead Guitarist Johnny Fasthandz’s little bundle of shotgun wedding crotch fruit prepares to have the best schoolnight of his fucking life.

  80. Death Metal Aaron says:

    I can metal too Mommy.

  81. Baldish says:

    Is this how you double pleasure both holes?

  82. S.I. says:

    And with anger surging through his heart, Little Timmy cried out a plea to the heavens, asking God why he created KoRn.

  83. goatboy66 says:

    “Mommy! You said we were gonna see Barney!”

  84. HagstromSpeed says:

    Getting a contact high, little Jimmy slowly begins to understand what these loud sounding machines in front of him are making and throws up his first set of horns.

  85. Austin Pittman says:

    Young Johhny looks towards the skies and asks the metal gods…”Why power metal damn you?!?! Why!?”

  86. ryan says:

    “Mommy, why did God make this stupid band. Attack Attack isn’t even a real name for a metal band. Plus, why are they all trying to look like little girls, the singer sounds like one too.”

  87. Chad E. Death says:

    Hey Mommy, Hail Satan

  88. Sean says:

    That slice of pizza’s been stuck there for how long?

  89. Wanga says:

    “Wow, everything I’ve heard about Metal is true… There’s even puke on the ceiling!”

  90. Giley says:

    Brokencyde’s promo-tour for their album “I’m Not a Fan but the Kids Like It” has reached a new low

  91. prives says:

    “Hey mom, is that the chick with the sweaty pits from the last funny photo caption contest?”

  92. AceKiller says:

    (Just seconds prior in Heaven)

    God: Five bucks says I can nail the little fucker between the eyes..

    St.Peter: You’re on!

  93. TOOKSUMOFWHATMICHEALJACKSONHADNDIDEVENGETHIGH?HMM.. says:

    ‘MOMMY ROCKS.. IM SO SO HAPPY SHE TAKES ME OUT TO ROCK N ROLL WITH HER, BUT WHERE DOES MOMMY GO FOR AN HOUR AFTER EACH SHOW WHEN THOSE TWO BIG BOUNCERS TAKE US BACKSTAGE EACH TIME!? GEE MOMMYS THE KOOLEST AND SHE MUST BE POPULAR!!! ;]

  94. Chris Mezyk says:

    “God, why have you forsaken me? I’m never going to get laid.”

  95. jesse says:

    “Two!
    Minutes!
    Til beeeeeeeeeeeeeeed tiiiime!”

  96. Peter says:

    “Dear God, I promise I’ll go to Sunday School next week and never piss in the sink again if you just make this metalcore nonsense stop!”

  97. rich says:

    who the hell is that up there?

  98. Who’s my daddy, mom? Both?

  99. reece says:

    would a stage dive get this party rocking?

  100. Matt Amyx says:

    The games children play… this one is called, “How Abbath may likely pose for his next photo shoot”

  101. Masonic Wehrmacht says:

    “But mommie, some of the kids at school say Jesus doesn’t have horns”

  102. Nick Gray says:

    Little Johnny looked up and his eyes opened wide with fear as, halfway during his favorite Agnostic Front song, the sky opened up above him and God pulled him up into the heavens. Apparently Michael Jackson’s one request was to “spend the rest of eternity with a young boy who was into hardcore but wasn’t afraid of experimenting with metal every once in a while and didn’t have a problem with screaming.”

Leave a Reply


(required)

(required)
To have a custom avatar appear with your comment, register for free at Gravatar.com.