FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN THE NEW VOIVOD AND COALESCE CDs!
Thursday, June 25th, 2009 at 4:04pm by Vince Neilstein
Congrats to Mr. Lun, the winner of new Darkane, Devin Townsend and Edguy CDs from last week’s funny photo caption contest. Mr. Lun’s winning caption to the photo at right:
“Jimmy gets a taste (and whiff) of the good life at the 2009 Wigger Slam Initiate orientation.”
This week the good folks at Relapse Records have donated copies of Voivod’s Infinfi and Coalesce’s Ox, both brand spankin’ new, to send to one lucky winner. Just come up with a caption to the below photo and they’re yours.
Little Timmy turned to “the man above” and asked him if it was ok to show shirtless guy and guy-with-the-cap-that-looks-like-kid-rock “what it’s like to really rock!”
“Lord, are these the two schmucks I should smite? Give me a sign.”
“Ok mom, dad told me to throw the horns like THIS, but his band sure does suck”
haha
Looking up at the singer, Andre the Giant.
is this how you throw the horns, mommy?
“Am I doing it right?”
Stryper reunion ‘09
“Put down thy horns or I will pee on you again, my child,” said Jesus from somewhere far above the neighborhood metal venue.
“Yes, Lord Dio, I will smite the douchbag in the Ozzy-Sabbath shirt. I make the unholy hand sign in homage onto thee.”
Jose Mangin (age undetermined) throws his first horns.
As the band tears into their opening number, Ziltoid lowers his “horns” and cries to heaven in jaw-clenched anger, “THIS IS NOT METAL!”
fucking win
lol…that was all I needed..winner over here!
PS- Bucket: Enjoy the new Coalesce, it fucking rips.
lol fuck that was great!!
+1
In the words of the late, great James Brown, “Please, Please, Please” give bucketochicken the win here.
epic win
yep
I can’t beat that one. WInner.
bucketochicken deserves the win here.
by the way, i fucking love chicken.
Yep, this wins….
“Did the singer just spit on that midget?”
“After implementing a br00tal regimen of bedroom push-ups, milk jug curls, and a healthy dose of Muscle Milk, Brendan decided to debut his newly acquired ‘guns’ while having a leisurely sit on a speaker cabinet at his local community center/ venue.”
Mommy, how did your undies get up there?
best so far.
“It’s just like Guitar Hero: Creed, mom.”
Seized by his prepubescent satchel by the claws of Satan, the child got his METAL on.
Little Jimmy, suddenly overcome with fear, looks over his shoulder to find Anus Apache, registered pedophile, smiling down at him.
If they are dead they dont say no
This is my curse.
Don’t laugh, someday this kid will be bigger than Dio
Yeah, in about 2 years.
Mommy? I don’t think I’m supposed to throw horns at Phish…Mommy?
Yet another rare sighting of Ryan Seacrest at a recent Five Finger Death Punch concert.
Mommy, what is that woman doing naked on stage?
What, Mommy? Don’t throw the horns during breakdowns?
And so began one young boy’s terrifying introduction to crowd surfing.
^WIN
I think we should all take this time not to make jokes and laugh, but to hope and pray for the safety and health of Michael Jackson…please don’t leave us King of Pop, it’s not your time
Actually…. it is.
Ok, commence joking.
At least he outlived his nose. RIP
“The V.I.P. section of the new Emmure, Whitechapel, and Oceano “STRAIGHTEDGE XXX DRUGS R BAD” 2009 tour”
“Mom!?? This band sucks….Can we go see Tankard? Pleeaase!!?”
Damn it Dream Theater are boring, please God, make the keyboard solo end…
Andrew’s Drowning Pool balloon then floated to the ceiling, never to return again…
“Mom! What the f$#% does ‘Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious’ mean?!”
I’m great at this. Pick one:
.
1 – Watch out Bret Michaels! The curtain is coming down fast!
2- Hey lady, my band’s up next! We’re called the Beige Stripes.
3- Hey I have another joke for you mom: what has 9 arms and suck? …
Yeah. Great. More Please. No, really. I can’t get enough.
I laughed more at Double D
retire.
Woman, when I get you home… PREPARE FOR “THE SHOCKER”!!!
Hey mommy, this is better than Neverland Ranch.
“Rotting while they breathe…Death comes slow?…?”
“Man…I wish Cliff was here…”
The one that got away… from dino.
kids looking for something; anything better than Brokencyde to fall out of the sky
Aaron watched the next 25 years of his trashy little life flash before his eyes, and nearby, Jesus wept.
Mommy, why does the church basement smell like Uncle John’s jacket?
“Look mom, I’m up front like you were when you got pregnant by the lead singer of Scene Kidz.”
Tiny Tim looks up to realise, yes, he is in hell and yes, Waking the Cadaver are playing.
“mommy which one did you say was my daddy?”
+1
Nice one, Leo. This has to be in the running.
Mommy, is that a REAL douchebag wearing the Black Sabbath shirt?
You’re damn right I’m gonna be pissed off! I bought that pig at Pink Floyd’s yardsale!
YES! thank u peter frampton and the simpsons!
Shirtless guy: “Dude, I’m totally freaking out…I mean, those can’t be the Donnas rocking out with a little kid, can they?”
‘Are you sure Spongebob Squarepants is gonna be here, Mommy?”
“Kid having seizures after listening the single of Marilyn Mason with Lady Gaga”
Who knew Wilt Chamberlain could rock?
While on tour, Udo Dirkschneider enjoys encouraging local talent.
Hey bitch, beer me another Scotch and cookies. My buzz is wearing off and I have to stay here and hex the shit out of these Alter Bridge fuckers.
Before Lil’ Archie realized it, the constant motion of his ‘devil horns’ had caused his power rangers balloon to slip from his wrist. At that moment, as the balloon drifted into the rafters, Lil’ Archie learned the true meaning of ‘Brutal’.
Hahaha…this one is pretty good too!
The Great Southern Trendkid
“I go to shows … I go to work … I go straight home … I stay away from schools and Chucky Cheez … I’m doing JUST like my probation officer says … I’m, I’m doing EVERYTHING right and it’s still like … like, LITTLE BOYS FOLLOW ME AROUND EVERYWHERE and it’s SO FUCKING HARD to HOLD BACK…”
And now, for the first time available on DVD, you can see the original ending to the Academy Award nominated film August Rush.
Mommy, is this REAL metal?
Proof that autistic kids are metal
“Mommy what’s Tinnitus?”
Tommy looks to heaven and ponders “is it a sin to rock out?”
What the fuck is on the ceiling?
Ziltoid: “Meh….”
… I shoulve read the thread first.
bucketochicken ftw
“Oh look! Michael Jackson’s record sales are finally up . . .”
“Hey God, if you’re listening, please let this evening turn out better than the Great White show my parents were barbecued at.”
This guy is the metal comedy king. And I am just saying that because he’s me.
“Mom, was Chris Cornell better than that before ?”
“Wow, Disneyland has really gone downhill since the last time I was here.”
Mom, I love you…but if I have to ask you one more time to go get me a fucking beer, I swear to God I will cut you.
“Hey Mom, promise me you’ll never dress me up like a scene fag please..”
It warms my heart to see kids getting hooked on metal early. No funny comment.
My dad’s the bass player? Why couldn’t you hold out and do the singer instead you dirty whore!
Giant bird flies off with 7 year old’s middle fingers.
OLD SKULL REUNION!!!
Kid : SLAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEER !!!!
“Wow, they have fireworks in here? You were right, mommy, Great White is going to be cool!”
Damn it, someone else already made a Great White joke. My bad.
Even Fred Durst charges his own children to watch their shows. A wigga gotta make moneyz ya’ll. Hollah
“Mom, are you sure this Voivod guy was with Metallica? He’s actually good!”
No no no, Jimmy! The band is THAT way!
With every devil horns little Damien throws, Barney the Purple Dinosaur weeps.
“Mommy, it was those two guys on stage who touched me.”
On the Next Episode of Little People Big world Jimmy throws his horns up and rages
No caption, but did anyone else notice that the shirtless guy on the side of the stage looks like he’s smelling his own armpit? Oh..just me…OK. Nevermind.
As Naz-T Demonz get ready to absolutely DESTROY Mr. Bill’s Wings n’ Drafts Bar’s downstairs stage, Lead Guitarist Johnny Fasthandz’s little bundle of shotgun wedding crotch fruit prepares to have the best schoolnight of his fucking life.
I can metal too Mommy.
Is this how you double pleasure both holes?
And with anger surging through his heart, Little Timmy cried out a plea to the heavens, asking God why he created KoRn.
“Mommy! You said we were gonna see Barney!”
Getting a contact high, little Jimmy slowly begins to understand what these loud sounding machines in front of him are making and throws up his first set of horns.
Young Johhny looks towards the skies and asks the metal gods…”Why power metal damn you?!?! Why!?”
“Mommy, why did God make this stupid band. Attack Attack isn’t even a real name for a metal band. Plus, why are they all trying to look like little girls, the singer sounds like one too.”
Hey Mommy, Hail Satan
That slice of pizza’s been stuck there for how long?
“Wow, everything I’ve heard about Metal is true… There’s even puke on the ceiling!”
Brokencyde’s promo-tour for their album “I’m Not a Fan but the Kids Like It” has reached a new low
“Hey mom, is that the chick with the sweaty pits from the last funny photo caption contest?”
(Just seconds prior in Heaven)
God: Five bucks says I can nail the little fucker between the eyes..
St.Peter: You’re on!
‘MOMMY ROCKS.. IM SO SO HAPPY SHE TAKES ME OUT TO ROCK N ROLL WITH HER, BUT WHERE DOES MOMMY GO FOR AN HOUR AFTER EACH SHOW WHEN THOSE TWO BIG BOUNCERS TAKE US BACKSTAGE EACH TIME!? GEE MOMMYS THE KOOLEST AND SHE MUST BE POPULAR!!! ;]
“God, why have you forsaken me? I’m never going to get laid.”
“Two!
Minutes!
Til beeeeeeeeeeeeeeed tiiiime!”
“Dear God, I promise I’ll go to Sunday School next week and never piss in the sink again if you just make this metalcore nonsense stop!”
who the hell is that up there?
Who’s my daddy, mom? Both?
Leo says:
June 25, 2009 at 8:57 pm
“mommy which one did you say was my daddy?”
would a stage dive get this party rocking?
The games children play… this one is called, “How Abbath may likely pose for his next photo shoot”
“But mommie, some of the kids at school say Jesus doesn’t have horns”
Little Johnny looked up and his eyes opened wide with fear as, halfway during his favorite Agnostic Front song, the sky opened up above him and God pulled him up into the heavens. Apparently Michael Jackson’s one request was to “spend the rest of eternity with a young boy who was into hardcore but wasn’t afraid of experimenting with metal every once in a while and didn’t have a problem with screaming.”