ALBUMS WE WISH HAD MADE THE LIST: ANDREW W.K. – I GET WET
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Gary Suarez
Andrew W.K., I Get Wet (Island, 2002)
Andrew W.K. – vocals
Jimmy Coup – Guitar
Erik Payne – Guitar
Frank Werner – Guitar
Gregg Roberts – Bass
Donald Tardy – Drums
Produced by Andrew W.K., John Fields, Scott Humphrey, TSD, Frank Vierti
It has been suggested by some of our commenters that I don’t belong here. Be it my distaste for deathgrind, my inability to appreciate the tr00 kvlt nature of Norwegian black metal, or the fact that I don’t give a flying fuck about Protest The Hero, I’ve always felt like an outsider around you people. Yet at no point did I feel so out of place than during the countdown of the 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far. Sure, I participated. I submitted a list. I presumed many of my picks would never make the cut (Unsane’s Visqueen; Zozobra’s Harmonic Tremors), but also acknowledged less esoteric favorites of mine from the past nine-and-a-half-years (Boris Pink; Down’s III: Over The Under) that I thought had a shot. Still, nothing could have prepared me for the sheer disappointment these past few weeks when none of my favorite albums made the goddamn list.
Rather than be mature about this sad state of affairs, I am now going to explain why everyone who voted in this poll is a fucking butthole for not selecting Andrew W.K.’s 2002 masterpiece, I Get Wet.
From the opening riff, it’s pretty obvious that this record is going to fucking rock. Seconds later, when the vocals come in, there’s no mistaking that I Get Wet is the ultimate party album. After all, the first track is called “It’s Time To Party,” and the upbeat lyrics firmly support that statement. Clearly, Andrew W.K. is devoted to the institution of the party, which is essentially what rock-and-roll music is all about. “Party Hard” (video here) and “Party Til You Puke” continue this theme and inspire all sorts of unbridled awesomeness.
But I Get Wet isn’t just about partying. No sir. It’s also about the ladies. Considering the majority of those who voted in this poll have never even kissed a girl [Uhhhh... - Ed.], it’s understandable how they didn’t relate to the sex positive message in such killer cuts as “Girls Own Love” and “She Is Beautiful” (video here). Such positivity extends even as Andrew addresses hardship, as evidenced on “Got To Do It,” arguably the most motivational metal song ever written. If you’ve got adversity to overcome, this is the fucking album for you. Hell, just the wicked fast tempos of these songs themselves trigger optimism aneurysms!
If you like guitars, you’ll love I Get Wet. The music is at least 80% guitar thanks to all the multitracking. The actual vocals comprise an additional 110% of the album, especially since it sounds like thirty Andrews are shouting the lyrics at any given time. Throw in another 20% for bass, drums, keys, and programming, and you’ve got yourself 210% of an album, one that is truly worthy of Nigel Tufnel’s “up to eleven” amplifier.
Andrew’s 2003 follow-up, The Wolf, attempted to recreate the magic of I Get Wet, and while that did offer plenty of fist-pumping anthems, it could never match the motherfucking juggernaut of modern rock that came before it. Came all over your mom’s back, that is.
-GS
[Gary Suarez party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party. He also writes for Brainwashed and usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]
Fuck this list, how bout that?
Seriously though, I’m just wondering how far it is that you can stretch the meaning of what metal is. If this album deserves a mention, then why not something by a band, say, like 311?
Have we reduced the definition of metal to include anything with an electric guitar and a drum set?
Apparently anything that sucks is now metal. Go figure.
hence the name of the website
Damn. And I just thought they were being clever & funny. Joke’s on me.
Visqueen is way better then blood run and it would of been kick ass if Zozzobra made the list. Any old man gloom album would be just fine with me on the list as well
Horrorpops really?
P.S. I dont understand the deal with protest the hero around these parts
Protest’s ‘Kezia’ was pretty good in my opinion. I didn’t like Fortress at all though.
I had the Kezia album a few years ago and I’ve seen them play some of the fortress material but never got into it.
Oh well for all I know I could be missing out, but I doubt it.
If you hate incredible music and disgustingly amazing guitar then no, your not missing anything.
If by incredible music you mean the metal equivalent of Dragonforce then yes I agree.
Listen harder. They write some really great songs without just showing off for the sake of showing off. Their musical chops actually help the music, unlike Dragonforce.
whenever i listen to protest the hero i get a boner, so i’m always listening hard :P
Zozobra RULES. As always, Ceferatti ftw.
If this list was a Major League hitter, this would drop his average from 2 for 21 to 2 for 22. As Anal Cunt said, “It just gets worse.”
WHAT?
i dont care what people say, i like andrew wk and i think i get wet is a great album, i always put it on if im round someones house (or at my house) having some drinks n stuff because its a really fun record
Thats fine if you like him, alot of us like certain music that could be considered questionable (in my example, I like Matisyahu), just don’t call it metal.
Matisyahu kicks (Jewish) ass!
Woohoo matisyahu!
Unfunny joke post. Really, ICP was funny for a second, but this is just lame.
Yea, I think at this point their best bet is to forget this shit list ever existed and never bring it up again.
I know right? I propose that a list (top 5 or 10) be made of every genre & sub genre of metal, i.e…Black, Death, Doom, Drone, Folk, Glam, Gothic, Grind, Groove, Industrial, Melodic Death, Metalcore, Neo-Classical, “Nu-Metal”, Post-Metal, Progressive, Sludge, Speed, Stoner, Thrash, Viking, etc…. Any takers?
Best write up in weeks, I’m still laughing. Good to see some still have a sense of humor even after the constant and pointless what is metal debates. Well done Gary!
Burn Gary Suarez.
I am actually in my cube cranking this album on headphones as I type this. This record does indeed fucking rock. A big fat dose of un-ironic party rock and roll is too much for some people to handle. Also, fuck Protest The Hero.
One guitar guitar riff by Protest the Hero> Andrew W.K’s entire discography.
FUN NIGHT!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Well put, Gary.
If really hate this album, then you hate fun. And you should just set yourself on fire. Humanity is done with you.
One of my favorite albums of all time. Made me really happy for a few years.
Andrew W.K. has some fun, sing-a-long songs. No doubt about it.
But it’s not metal.
And it certainly shouldn’t be anywhere near a “best of” list.
I’m shocked too that someone would hold this in such high regard.There’s no substance to it whatsoever beyond the immediate value.
I have this album, and it is a fun album…but this isn’t metal. Then again the list was shit. This cd is better then most of the shit that did make the list. Still, not metal.
Also, Andrew W.K.’s favorite band is Napalm Death. Awesome.
Anyone that hates this album is fucking retarded and should immediately shoot themselves.
Clearly the inability to enjoy this noise heavily suggests a great degree of mental handicap.
Just what the hell is the average IQ of metalheads these days? Jesus Christ, grow up people.
Fuck yeah – PARTY HARD!
regardless of how good it may be, its still not metal, but neither was a good chunk of the list
Awesome choice. Backed so hard.
Good album, awesome artist.
I agree one million percent. Best album of that decade and best artist EVER.
Do you live in a fucking box?!?
The best thing about Andrew W. K. is this right here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KMV3dc2PbI
The next man on the moon will be Chinese!
Great Rock n’ Roll record (but it quite metal).
i dont know much about this album but in line with some other comments about bands i cannot for the life of me like.
gojira -way of all flesh
protest the hero -fortress
cynic- traced in air
i bought, stupid me, bought all of these thinking they were must own, must have, no way they could suck albums by the hype this site gave them. i was wrong. ive forced myself the listen, probably 5 times to each album, just cause i know shit can grow on you. not this shit, none of it. that is all.
and i cant believe there wasnt one vote for beyond the permafrost. and fuck the shift key
You probably should of listened to a few of their songs on youtube before going out and buying 3 albums.
I like Cynic but I can’t get into Gojira and Protest the Hero.
You must be fucked if you don’t like any of those bands, ESPECIALLY Cynic.
i got cynic’s fortress from a buddy and that album is waaay better than traced in air
Focus, not Fortress.
yeah, my bad
FUCK YEAH, Andrew W.K.! Aside from being the nicest guy in the entire music industry, this album is fun as hell and makes you headbang.
If nothing else, you have to give Andrew W.K. credit for his lyrical genius:
PARTY HARD PARTY HARD PARTY HARD PARTY HARD/ SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS BEAUTIFUL
How does he do it?
I agree 210% sir!
I have no problem with Andrew W.K. but I’m not to sure about putting him on a top 21 metal list.
Still fun to listen to regardless though.
I should stop being lazy and actually put albums I would of liked to see sooo
here it is in no specific order
Archons – The Consequences of Silence
Agalloch – The Mantle
Behemoth – DemiGod
Emperor – Prometheus: The Discipline of Fire & Demise
Septic Flesh – Sumerian Daemons
Wintersun – Wintersun
Dark Tranquility – Fiction
Akercocke – Words That Go Unspoken, Deeds That Go Undone
Dying Fetus – Destroy the Opposition
Bloodbath – Nightmares Made Flesh
Hypocrisy – Virus
Children of Bodom – HateBreeder
Daylight Dies – Dismantling Devotion
Insomnium – Above The Weeping World
Enslaved – Ruun
Darkest Hour – Deliver Us
SYL – Alien
Meshuggah – Nothing
FalkenBach – Heralding: The Fireblade
Kalmah – They Will Return
The Project Hate MCMXCIX – Armageddon March Eternal
There are pleantly of other albums I would put on there also but those are the first 21 albums to come to mind and i would have to go through a decade of music to decide really what is the best of the best.
Also, I welcome any comments/disagreements you have with my list.
Holy fuck yes, Kalmah definitely deserved a spot up there.
There are some great albums on that list, fella.
OK, I’m almost done laughing. Wait, one more. OK, now I’m done. Honestly though, I absolutely love this CD. It’s hysterical. It’s just a fun, stupid party record. It’s one of those records you can put on and crush a few beers to before you head out for the night. It just puts everyone in a stupid goofy mood, and you can’t really argue with that kind of fun. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t exactly call it metal. Not by a long shot. But I guess the guest appearance on Aqua Teen Hunger Force will be enough for me not to care!
andrew wk sounds like britney spears on crack
“…I don’t give a flying fuck about Protest The Hero…”
You and me both, brudda. Protest the Hero would be hard pressed to make their vocals any more gay.
Anyway, listening to Andrew W.K.’s I Get Wet is like snorting a line of yayo a mile long. It’s all about sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, ahem, and metal. Fuck yeah!
And who could forget the classic “We do what we like, and we like what we do!” The strength of that line alone was enough to make me buy that album. Besides, pianos rule.
That Andrew W.K. is a metal great alright. All of his albums should be on this list. Him and Fred Durst really define what metal truly should be. Way to fail miserably Gary. I enjoy Stone Sour’s latest album quite a bit, but I’m not stupid enough to somehow think it’s one of the best albums of the 21st Century when there’s dozens if not hundreds of albums that are so much better.
I don’t like this album because I hate having fun. Partying is a waste of time. I hate major chords because they sound too happy; I prefer things that sound like they were recorded in a toolshed on an iceberg by very angry people.
Awesome.
FTW
So does Andrew WK own Santos House party or what?
Does this album have anything to do with partying?
It seems like most reasonable people took this whole list with a grain of salt. I personally enjoyed all the jackasses getting bent out of shape about an arbitrary list compiled by complete strangers.
DUDE! Andrew W.K. is METAL AS FUCK!!!! I saw them at Ozzfest a couple years back in Tampa, and all he could talk about was how awesome it was to be playing the place where all his favorite death metal bands are from. He even had 2 dudes from Obituary come on stage and they played a song!
Also, he played Warped Tour the next year. My band played too so we were chilling backstage. I went to use the bathroom, and Andrew had taken a shit so wretched that everyone cleared out, even the dude showering. That’s fucking metal
Andrew fucking rules.
Andrew W.K. sucks the testicles of 73 year old hermaphrodites. This is fact.
What the hell’s wrong with this critic? This numbnut Gay Suarez!?! Andrew WK is not even close to metal? We need to ban this idiot from this site!
This album sucks.
The list sucks.
Metal sucks!
hes doing this show on cartoon network about blowing shit up haha. pretty bad ass
Anyone who questions the credentials of this album should google the names that proceed the first paragraph. Anyone actually know who Donald Tardy is?
I’m glad that someone picked up on this. Thanks, Thomas.