Rampant Rumors

WHAT THE F*CK, DUDE FROM MALEVOLENT CREATION?

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lyingdouche

I don’t actually know very much about Malevolent Creation. For whatever reason, they just never came across my radar. I mean, I’ve heard of them, but I guess I never came to that point where a friend was like “Dude, check out this band!” or whatever, ’cause I never listened to them. I have no opinion about their music one way or the other.

But y’all have been e-mailing us all week about guitarist Phil Fasciana’s claim to Blabbermouth about being the next Bruce Willis n’ shit. In case you missed the whole story, Fasciana e-mailed “the CNN of heavy metal” and claimed to have kicked some ass and taken some names after walking in on a convenience store robbery in Ft. Lauderdale:

“When I walked into that store to buy something, I had no idea the store was in the middle of being robbed. I immediately felt something was wrong when I walked in, because it was very quiet and the man working behind the counter was staring at me like I was gonna rob the store. When that 80-pound homeless crackhead yelled at me and pointed his gun at me and fired four shots at me, I thought I was surely dead and had no time to react! After realizing I was not hit, I slowly crawled around to the back of the store, and while the gunman was screaming at the worker, I ran down the isle he was in and tackled him with the intention of beating the living shit out of him.

“When I tackled him and starting beating the shit out of him with the dude working there, he dropped the gun and I grabbed it. I had no intention of shooting him until he reached for another gun in his sneaker and looked at me, and before he got the chance to shoot at me again, that’s when I shot him in the face two times and put an end to that whole nightmare!”

We didn’t say anything about the story at the time for two reasons:

  1. Like I said, we’re not huge fans or even detractors of Malevolent Creation.
  2. The whole thing sounded like something out of a terrible action movie.

And hey, guess what? As it turns out, the whole story may very well be total bullshit:

Commenting on Fasciana’s claims, Detective Mark Shotwell of the Fort Lauderdale Police Department told Rock Radio that he’s unable to find evidence that any such event ever took place.

“This did not happen,” Shotwell said. “Our last murder was on June 22 and Fasciana was not involved. I’m certain of this. Even if the death was a result of self-defense, it would still be classed as a homicide and investigated as such.

“All witnesses, reportees, victims and suspects are entered into a database, but the most recent entry for Fasciana is on April 1, involving him and a female in a domestic dispute.”

Rock Radio spoke to Fasciana about Detective Shotwell’s comments, and the guitarist replied: “The store where it took place isn’t considered Fort Lauderdale. What happened is true and I really don’t know how it leaked into Blabbermouth because I never told anyone about it.”

Again, without knowing very much about Fasciana, I’m inclined to believe the nice officer man who says it’s a lie. Never mind that it just sounds too fantastic to be true; but wouldn’t there be some record of it somewhere? A guy shoots a robber in the face and no media outlet reports on it, besides the one said “hero” now denies having e-mailed? (Blabbermouth is sticking to their whole “Phil e-mailed us” story, and, again, I’m inclined to believe them.)

So, bottom line: someone here is lying. The story can’t be true and false at the same time. Right now my money is that Fasciana is either a) crazy, b) a moron, c) desperate for publicity, or d) all of the above, but I imagine a reporter more motivated than myself will get to the bottom of this shortly.

-AR

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