Comments on: FUCK YOU, INTERNET DORKS! PHIL FASCIANA IS KEEPING OUR STREETS SAFE!

By: beervtibcuo

beervtibcuo — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:03:59 +0000

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By: envenomedcky

envenomedcky — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:03:52 +0000

This shit is priceless. I personally love Phil and MC is definitely one of my favorite death metal bands, regardless of how repetitive they can get.

But seriously, Phil is awesome. This one time I remember him telling me about taking his kids to a hockey game to see the Penguins play in the Stanley Cup play-offs, and the vice president was in attendance at the game. So anyways, these fucking dudes decide to plant bombs all over the arena and take the vice president hostage! Phil said “fuck that shit!” and went around by himself just taking everybody out one by one, he even lit a guy on fire with a super soaker. And then he climbed the building and killed Powers Boothe.

True Story.

By: HammerSmashedBass

HammerSmashedBass — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:31:41 +0000

Yoohoo should give Phil an endorsement deal. “Drink this and crackheads will miss when they shoot at you when you walk in on convenience store robberies!”

By: Metal Fuckin' Dave

Metal Fuckin' Dave — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:05:10 +0000

Dude sounds like my old bass player. He was physically incapable of telling the truth.

By: Anselmowitz

Anselmowitz — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 18:07:15 +0000

Death wish’s are fucking awesome, I wish my life was like that, blowing people away with a gnarly ’stache.

By: groverXIII

groverXIII — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:24:12 +0000

“Hans… bubby… I’m your white knight!”

By: ryan

ryan — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 05:40:44 +0000

Now I think his 15 minutes are REALLLLY up. move along.

By: -gODGRINDER-

-gODGRINDER- — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:54:59 +0000

It’s obvious that he suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and that he’s off his meds.

But don’t worry. Life will be better for him, nay, all of us, when King Barry nationalizes our healthcare system and the federal government is able to dole out Paxil and Zoloft to people like this guy.

Uggh. I need a shower after that.

By: Topher

Topher — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:39:26 +0000

Derek Roddy as well.

By: Beard

Beard — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:23:11 +0000

“Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.”

By: cyrollan

cyrollan — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:56:04 +0000

that’s too much for me to read so i’m assuming it’s all negative;; but Rob Barrett was in the band so i’m torn

By: pigchop

pigchop — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:31:57 +0000

Poor Phil. Who knows, perhaps he missed his real calling in life as a generic less-than-B-grade action film writer. The guy will never live this one down. I can picture it now – people throwing cartons of chocolate milk on stage at Malevolent Creation (soon-to-be-know-as Malevolent Chocolate Milk) shows. If the fork-tongued fucker really wanted to say ‘fuck you’ to the growing number of detractors, he would simply send yet another email to blabbermouth detailing the store name and location.

This calls for an updated Malevolent Chocolate Milk picture: http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/4766/malevolentchocomilk2.jpg

By: Lord Bling

Lord Bling — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:31:21 +0000

True. And while ‘Retribution’ was a great album, it doesn’t give you the right to murder people.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:52:30 +0000

also in a super racist band. why surprised about the new douchery?

By: Eat your own shit

Eat your own shit — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:17:00 +0000

“I think evolution skipped over your family” – fucking awesome Mark Twain shit right there.

This guy is a total shitbag. If you don’t want this in the news, why are you continually telling us about other things we don’t care about that probably didn’t happen? Trying to make yourself look more hardcore?

And, by the way, I have a life. About 80% of it constitutes reading shitbag stories like this on the internet and judging people. Get a grip.

By: Zach

Zach — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:13:09 +0000

The Nakatomi Tower comment is priceless.

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:08:45 +0000

I never realized that Ft. Lauderdale was so much like Mogadishu.

By: Johnny

Johnny — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:59:17 +0000

“Unfortunately, Fasciana never made it to band practice. He got stuck in the Nakatomi Tower and had to take out Hans Gruber. Another tragedy avoided, all thanks to the dude from Malevolent Creation!”-Axl

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: Canvas Of Flesh

Canvas Of Flesh — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:58:36 +0000

Who else would you want to kill?

By: David

David — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:44:55 +0000

Look at the bright side… at least he only kills homeless people with addictions.