«
»
Editorials

JIM CARREY’S DAUGHTER LIKES THE DEATH METAL D

 Friday, July 10th, 2009 at 11:30am by

jane carrey

As you may recall, Jim Carrey is a Cannibal Corpse fan. And I guess he passed his love of death metal on genetically, ’cause about 18,000 of you have e-mailed us in the last twelve hours to tell us that his surprisingly cute daughter is knocked up by and marrying Alex Santana, the lead singer of a death metal band I’ve never heard of called Blood Money.

Of course, this isn’t really news per se, and now that I’ve written that opening paragraph, I find I really have nowhere to go with this. But like I said, a lot of you seemed to find it very exciting, so, uh, I hope I’ve satisfied in you in some way.

-AR

Tags: , , , ,
  • Strep Townsend

    Uh, what’s so exciting about it, girls don’t like metal, he looks like a douche, and i’ve never heard of Blood Money.

    • Zoker

      My friend, I can smell your envy from here.

      • Strep Townsend

        lol…oh yes, so envious, i’m just sitting here in a rage over it!

        • Zoker

          I knew it!

  • Rik

    She’s hot, and likes metal. And Jim Carrey’s her dad. This guy wins.

    • Lord Bling

      /thread over

    • Jimmy

      This.

      • Skwisgaar

        /thread

  • bender

    That explains the scene from Ace Ventura when he’s at a nightclub and Cannibal Corpse is ripping it up onstage in the background.

  • Chad E. Death

    Well this isnt as exciting as some people may think it is , but most of you black shirts have too much anger . Grow up a bit smoke a bowl and get laid.

    Thats my advice , take it or leave it !

    • bender

      As soon as i get home from work. The bowl and sex, that is. Grow up? NEVER!

    • Jimmy

      Did you just tell everyone to “grow up” and “smoke a bowl and get laid” in the same sentence?

      o lawd, the irony.

  • SonOF

    Has anyone seen the movie Dan in Real Life? That girl looks exactly like Alison Pill, who plays Jane (which is coincidently Carrey’s daughter’s name…weird), the oldest daughter in the film. Anyone?

    • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

      Believe it or not I have seen that movie…but never would I have drawn such a correlation. You see…that movie was pretty goddamn boring and I can’t recall very many details. I do seem to remember him smoking weed in a tent with two really young chicks….Or was that me?

  • Anthony

    I’d bang her

  • alliaphagist

    Jim Carrey has never been a death metal fan. He saw the Cannibal Corpse artwork on a CD in stores, thought it looked hilarious, listened to the band, and though it would be great in his movie. That’s all.

    But his daughter? maybe.

  • i think

    that guys band is actually pretty good
    shes do a-ble
    jim careys her dad so you never have to work ever again

    i wish i was that guy

  • iolanach

    It’s for this kind of hard hitting news that i visit this blog.

    Thank you guys.

  • tayhammer

    She’s also got her own band.

    http://www.myspace.com/janecarreyband

    • http://www.underground-industries.uk.com Civi

      yea I noticed that, bluesy alt rock, not metal but not bad.

    • phale

      she sleeping with the black bassist.

      you heard it here first, folks! when that mulatto spawn drops, you will all know i was creeping at the window.

  • Leo

    She looks like shes 12

    • Charlie B

      Yeah she does look young but she is 22. She is from Jim’s first marriage.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrea-Voulgaris/663407462 Andrea Voulgaris

    bitch stole my dream.

  • nolavann

    i’d hit that..

  • Dustin at Metal Blade

    One.. Jim Carrey IS, or at least was a big death metal fan, and B…She’s not that hot

  • oblivion

    with all these silly irrelevant facts asside no one pointed out the guy looks like good old charlie manson , now thats funny ! its gonna make for a fucked up kid.

  • WeAreChuckNorris

    Look at his eyeballs !?!

    ‘Jim Carrey Money baby’

  • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

    Her voice isn’t too bad. Certainly not my “thing” but eh…talent is talent I suppose. As for Blood Money, the band does sound pretty solid. The bass player sounds like the best player in the band but as a whole they are solid. Couple songs I really liked. Their influences are questionable…seem to be pretty big into Pantera for being a death metal band.

  • CrapMcPoopin

    Maybe he’ll stick with her until he becomes famous, then leave her for Lauren Holly. Oh wait that was her dad.