AND THEY CAN’T SPELL THE WORD “DAMN” CORRECTLY, EITHER
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg
Reasons Bonerott (MySpace, official website) is the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard in a long, long time*:
- The drums.
- The guitar.
- The bass.
- The singing.
- The screaming.
- The talking.
- The rapping.
- The lyrics (Sample: “You tell me that you care/You change the clothes I’m wearing/And cut my goddamn hair.”)
- The fact that those lyrics were not written by a twelve year old.
- The fact that one member is credited for playing “lead guitars” when he is, in fact, the only guitar player in the band.
- The fact that their top MySpace friends include Hugh Hefner, a bunch of porn stars, Killswitch Engage and Avril Lavigne.
- The 87 year old woman posing in their merch photo.
- That their MySpace bio describes them as “loud and very aggressive with out [sic] an attitude!”
- The slogan on their website: “Nu-age metal for the nu-millenium.”
- The fact that these guys are older than the dudes in Anvil.
- Everything about this band photo.
- The fact that they describe themselves as a cross between Disturbed and Lamb of God.
- The fact that they describe themselves as hardcore.
- The fact that they simultaneously describe themselves as “dance metal.”
- The fact that they simultaneously describe themselves as industrial.
- Everything about this interview.
- The fact that said interview calls them “Bone Rot.”
- The fact that they put said interview up on their website anyway.
- Head mic.
- That they have a fan page.
- That there are people on that fan page.
- That, inevitably, some of those people will now come to this post and call me names.
- This:
- That I have now generated more traffic and attention for this band than they have ever had before.
- That I have now spent more time writing about this shitty band than I have the excellent new Goatwhore album that you all need to get.
-AR
*Yes, even funnier than the deathcore band with the triangle we listened to on the Metal Injection Livecast.
Thanks to Steve Mars for this incredible tip.
“29. That I have now generated more traffic and attention for this band than they have ever had before.”
hahahahah Yup.
31. That they’re so bad, they’re literally GIVING AWAY their new cd and merch — check it out!
http://www.bonerott.com/audio.htm
They should change their name to ” Boanrawtt” it fits their ridiculous sound better.
With a backwards “r”
And a backwards “w.”
And an “x” between boan and rawtt.
Jesus, I know it would amount to turd polishing, but have they ever heard of Beat Detective? Maybe Devin could loan them his copy of DFH.
This is worse than Crabcore.
What is going on with the drums on that video, are they playing 2 different songs??????
The only thing funnier than knowing that these guys are serious, is that people actually enjoy listening to this garbage.
Oh man as a professional audio engineer the micing techniques (or the absence of them) that the drummer used to record his drums are killing me…
Jesus christ wait are those programmed drums? o.o
Wow, that was a bad interview, its awesome they link it.
Still chuckling over the line “Yeah people will say do a Beatle song. And its like we will let Iron Maiden do Iron Maiden.” WTF?
they should drop the human decay motif and just run with the growing number of std’s as a theme. their merch cougar gave em bone rott
hahah that cougar is undoubtedly one of the guy’s wives or sisters.
It saddens me that even if this guys aren’t rich, they may actually be earning a living creating this poop.
I almost feel bad for them.
wow these guys are so br00tal!!! lol
Hahaha it Boner Ott
*it’s
ahahah… Topic of the year! Those guys take the credit I guess.
They all have women’s names…Rene, Pat, and Jamie
“Are music is really-”
“…you guys play a lot of shows I see about every few months you have another gig”
“Yeah but it seems to be speeding up!”
“We can thank global warming for that”
“Oh the internet! That just made everything faster”
“Yeah everything goes faster”
“So have you had your music played anywhere?”
“We have it on the website http://www.bonerott.com”
“We like to play shows where there’s no real heavy bands”
The interviewer just discovered the ! key
And the guy on the left in the band pic looks like the dude from Freaks of Cock….
holy fuck, if I made a joke band with fake interviews it would not be this funny.
Somehow, that interviewer and publication are just as dumb as the guys in BR.
Nice editing here:
Rock City News: “What kind of music would you call it?”
Bone Rott Member 1: “Are music is really…”
Bone Rott Member 2, interrupting: “METAL!”
“Are music?”………..how does such a publication exist?
You missed:
Bone Rotter: “Our music is different with English and Spanish”
What?
They have actually won an award for best hardcore band in L.A. and Hollywood!
Perhaps there are NO other hardcore bands in L.A. or Hollywood. This is the only logical explaination.
I cant fuckin believe these guys exist but if they just changed there genera to COMEDY they would be the shit! i laughed so hard while listing to them it was insane i think i cried alittle.
They really shouldn’t want us to say what is on our minds. Seriously. This sounds like 100 bands from the Dayton Ohio area. Only 15 years ago. I’m sure they were around back then from the looks of them. They were probably in their 40’s about that time.
LOL! i’m actually from Dayton, and was just thinking the exact same thing.
The 87-year-old woman is kinda hot in a skanky cougar-ish way.
i think we’ve found the group that makes crunk-core look like it’s credible
Nice one, harsh but brilliant.
It doesn’t even sound like they’re trying. I can come up with more natural sounding drums on a goddamn drum machine then these jokers can. It sounds like they tried jumping on a bandwagon, missed their mark, and fell face first into the ground.
This band pales compared to this band in terms of shittyness. http://www.myspace.com/dustoftheages
i agree, that sucks even more than those Bonerott guys or whatever their name is…
all bands i think pale in comparrison to the shittiness of that band..how have they been around since 1995?
The interview is the best. They get an opportunity to plug their upcoming show and they can’t remember where the venue is or what it’s called. That’s fucking awesome.
The head mic is hilarious.
HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In-fucking-credible.
Is that the bastard son of Tom Araya and Paul Stanley on the bass there?
wow…just wow!
the only response i can think of is WHAT THE FUCK
that was the most unnatural thing I’ve ever listen to
someone should do these guys a favor and break all their insturments
*instruments
Another funny thing is that I remember seeing a banner saying that they were opening for Deicide! lol
There’s no way these guys are serious.
http://www.bonerott.com/fan143.jpg
OH MY GOD FUCKING LOL’D