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Haterade

I GOT STUPIDER JUST WATCHING THIS

 Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 at 11:30am by

Interview with the lead singer of Attack! Attack! from hardtimes.ca:

There’s lots that I could say about this, but, really, the dude just hung himself, and it would be ungracious to kick him when he’s down.

Not that that will stop you from kicking him when he’s down.

And by the way, congrats to Ziltoid, whom I believe coined the phrase “crabcore,” on getting his shout-out as “some kid.” Zilty says he’s twenty and this dude is only eighteen, so, yeah, that’s funny, too.

-AR

Thanks to Mike Normandy for the tip.

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  • Brandon

    Like, what do you mean?

    • Brandon

      This douche is as dense as a glass of water.

  • Zoker

    He looks kinda retarded.. I mean.. he really seems to be brain damaged. Certainly, the fact that he’s a member of Attack!Attack!Attack1(man…Attack!!!) is just an unfortunate coincidence.

  • Strep Townsend

    I think this guy has been kicked several times while he was down, in the head.
    He looks like he has suffered some pretty hardcore brain damage from it.
    I’ve never heard anything from this band and now I won’t have to thanks to this video.
    Metalsucks has once again proved it’s worth to the metal community.

  • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

    Oh my fucking god….It’s like one kid from the LD class interviewing another…who looks like a Cambell’s soup kid. I’d almost feel sorry for this retard if he wasn’t getting waaay more ass than me…which in turn just pisses me off.

    • Sacajawea

      Unless you enjoy having sex with the asses of 14 year old boys you have nothing to worry about.

  • Anthony

    Other than the parts where he was talking about bright colours on t-shirts, I don’t see what’s so bad about this interview…

  • DanyLektro

    “We’re heavier than a lot of people think, ‘cuz you know, we have purple and pink in our name.”
    No messin’ with their ‘heavy-ass breakdowns’. I think I’d like to ask him, ‘what do you mean?’ about that.
    Way to be commercialized, I wonder how many nickels he snorts in his spare time.
    “Simple, that’s all I am”. Oh man, I’m so glad my life isn’t as difficult as waking up early.

  • Marcus

    “You’re a simple, dude…”

    Understatement of the decade.

    • plumber

      I was going to write the same thing.

  • Strep Townsend

    Like….bright colors draws people closer to our music and stuff…like…yeah….

  • Rolling Thunder

    The Russians sent a tank to the moon..

    ..Lets counter by sending Attack! Attack! to the moon.

    • Beard

      Haha. GWAR on Jerry Springer.

  • Dan-O

    Apparently, the whole meaning for this kids existence, in his own words, is to smoke cigarettes and “ride the ride.” I think cigarettes should be offended.

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    You guys are taking the whole crappy band theme and running with it…I like it!

  • Dan-O
    • Fufkin

      My god, it’s made it to The Guardian!

  • Daren

    I can’t commit anymore than 17 seconds to this fucktard.

  • Spaceman_Jones

    Wow, they shoud pay Ziltoid for his fantastic phrase, he needs to own the rights to that word so he can sue them for there br00t4l t shirts.
    An Extended Interview would say
    What are some of your influences?
    ” like, yeah we are greatly influenced by classic metal bands such as limp bizkit.”
    Any hardcore influences?
    “there was hardcore before us?”

  • moose_knuckle

    The guy looks and acts confused thorughout the interview, his insight into the hardcore scene is awsomely funny.

  • Ziltoid

    Haha, crabcore. Unfortunately, I’m not the one to have coined that phrase. I may have been the first one this site to use it, but I saw it many times over the internet before one that video got popular. Regardless, it’s a hilarious name for their music.

    • metalguy

      i thought you said crapcore cause the crab squats look like taking a shit

      • Fufkin

        So the only useful and amusing insight you’ve ever offered on here wasn’t even yours. Colour me a light shade of disappointment.

        • Double D

          HAHAHA!

          • Lord Bling

            At least he admitted that he didn’t come up with it. Jeez.

  • yanky

    kick in the balls
    GO!

  • Jimmy

    o lawd

    Trolls will be shitting bricks once those crabcore t-shirts start making money

  • Charlie B

    Holy Shit was that a hilarious interview. I almost died laughing.

  • tjangles

    His face makes him look like a fat woman.

  • Peter

    Scary part about this is they and that other shitty band Confine are getting main stream notice. just check this link: http://music-mix.ew.com/2009/07/worst-cover-song-ever-confide-postal-service-such-great-heights.html

  • Shep

    He comes across as just a little slow….

    at least they’re like, yeah, like taking the abuse well and not like, getting all, like stropy about it.

  • RobotScythe

    Dallas had a blog not too long ago about how artists need to be listened to outside of their music/art. I offer this video as a rebuttal.

  • Matt

    about Warped Tour.. “.. it’s hard, we have to wake up early then stay all day, then drive to the next place”…hahahahahahahahahahahaha… I wish I had a hard life like that.

  • Name Not Applicable

    I’m pretty sure the term Crabcore originated here: http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,23255.0.html

    But for all I know it could have been in the Mayans doomsday prophecy.

    I hope.

  • http://www.theinevitablenose.com/ The Inevitable Nose

    Is that the stalker chick from Flight of the Conchords?

    • http://www.myspace.com/1033metal Jackson

      +1,000,000

    • WookieBastage

      The only one to come to their gigs.

    • kingheadcrab

      LOfuckinL

  • Matt

    Hey at least he takes crabcore as a good thing….?
    hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

  • Superhans

    haha this is a great interview….
    i checked out attack attack on youtube cos i haven’t heard anything by them and came across stick stickly! didn’t here any badass breakdown but there was a weird shitty rave bit thrown in hahahaha
    this band weren’t as bad as i thought they’d be but they did suck…
    i wonder who this person is that made him soooo mad

  • SolracYatog

    Stupidly enough, people don’t realize how REPETITIVE their songs are.
    If you listen to the entire CD ALL but but a few songs have the SAME BREAKDOWN RIFF.

    And now they’re going back into the studio?!

    I’m ok witht the band, I like only 2 songs from them but overall.. they are repetitive.

  • Cincitucky

    He deserves to be kicked while he’s down if he’s incapable of holding a conversation without his crutch of “like” or “you know.”

    One more hate inducing nugget… his inability to comprehend questions.

    Sucks to be born and raised in Ohio knowing this retard is a product of my home state.

    Irritating interview to watch. Thanks MetalSucks for letting me enjoy my lunch break.

    • Double D

      Well, if he has been touring in bands since he was 15 he probably wasn’t putting a whole lot of effort into book learnin’. It saddens me to know that i will one day educate a child as dumb as this bastard. Why am I in school for education again? from, Florida

  • ashley

    I’d love to see the lyrics this guy writes.

    • gnarlk

      it would be the sublime poetry of fetal alcohol syndrome…

  • DemonicLemming

    So, who wants to donate pennies for the Drool Bib for “Attack! Attack!” Members Fund? Or, we could get them a nice colorful can of Play-Doh, but they’d probably eat it all…

    • tim

      Yeah, but you could slip something lethal in there, say it was an accident. I’d donate to that.

      • DemonicLemming

        Cyanide. “New almond-flavored Play-Doh!” Just make little candy bar shapes and the fucks would probably suck them down.

  • http://www.themetalreporter.net TMR

    Capitalizing on “crabcore”… with Crab”Fucking”Core t-shirts… (shoots nutts)

  • Infiltraitor

    Bands like this have no clue what metal or hardcore is or what it stands for. This makes me wanna take a crap! all over crabcore…..

  • metalguy

    does he not realize that bands started looking gay too atract 13 year old girls and not too stand out

  • Sin and Death

    His line where he states something to the effect of: ” The Warped Tour is really hard work.” That made me laugh. He sounds like a whiny 12 year-old girl.

    Well said from a kid who has probably never worked manual labor, or held any real job for that matter. I guess that’s the kind of work ethic a lot of privileged kids have when the hardest thing they have ever had to do was clean their room. Enjoy your cigarettes after your long, tedious day, moron.

  • Agad

    He loves colors so much.

  • timmah

    i wish cigarettes killed faster. :(

    • rattleh3ad

      Careful what you wish for….Can you imagine 14 yr olds turning this douche into the next Curt Cobain and seeing his face on t-shirts and posters everywhere you go?

      • Milkman

        his face is too fat.

  • Dr J

    IT’S MOTHERFUCKING CHUNK FROM THE GOONIES HOLY SHIT

  • Ahab

    He looks like a fat version of Marilyn Manson without make-up to me.

    • Ahab

      Errrrr well he probably has make-up on, but I mean how Manson looks without make-up. ah fuck it.

  • RotAndOrRoll

    Show some respect. He’s a grizzled three year veteran of the scene.

    • Canvas Of Flesh

      …And he just got his first pubic hair.

      • Bitchkiller

        Give the kid a break. I am pretty sure he has more money than any of you poor somebitches.

        • Canvas Of Flesh

          So, following your line of logic, you would have to give someone like George Bush a break because he has more money? Shut your hole, moron.

          • Lord Bling

            1

  • Fritz!

    Interviewer: “Hey Tubby want som cheese?” Tubby: “Eh, like what do you mean?” Interviewer: “All you have to do is put your head in this pretty noose, yeh, like that, all the way through”.

    • tim

      Wait, what do you mean?

  • Canvas Of Flesh

    Oh noes!! They have purple and pink in their logos! That means there is no reason for anybody not to love them. Their logic is infallible.

  • Zombie(really)

    “What fuels the anger in the music?”…..oh man, its like….my mom sometimes makes me mow the lawn, and like…..ya know? I really dont want too………………….

    • omg

      lmao i just pissed myself

    • Seth

      Hahah brilliant

  • Sammy

    As completely stupid as this tool comes off (like like like like like like), the idea of taking a sarcastic criticism of your band (crab walking) and then just owning it and turning it into a marketing idea, is a pretty savvy business move.

    Really, is crab crouching any more stupid than throwing horns or banging your head? Okay, so yes it’s way more stupid, but you get my point, no?

    • Strep Townsend

      No.

  • sandwiches

    i didn’t see the point in asking him about the hardcore scene. im pretty sure for him, music started with the devil wears prada.

  • beardy

    they need someone to talk for them like a manager, or the smart guy, not nick the chubby one who can’t quite fit in skinny pants

  • Pyroninja42

    This reminds me. I have singlehandedly invented the best joke evar.
    What do you get when a metalcore band gets stage fright?

    A nervous breakdown.

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    Anyways. I just love how this vocalist brilliant masks his use of the autotuner so only idiots can’t tell that he’s using it.

  • Offal Love

    Man, where is this dude from; like Ohio or something? Yeah, he’s simple alright, really fucking simple.

    Also, I started hearing the term crabcore on 4chan a while back, though I’m not sure if they coined it…

    I love how he they’re gonna take the whole crabcore thing and put it on t-shirts and shit, I hope it back fires. It just sounds so fucking stupid.

  • http://dmxrr15@hotmail.com IsntaTOTALdouchebag10

    If I was that ugly I would grow hair that covered most of my face too. It really is almost too easy to make fun of him.

  • Polska

    HOLY SHIT!!!!
    “..when kids come out and see us, they see we have heavy ass breakdowns and ….its a lot heavier than….everything…is”
    so from what i understand is that generic breakdowns are the epitome of not just heavy music, but heavy EVERYTHING!
    if there was a “21 overstatements of the 21st century” list, this one would hold the top three spots.

  • Polska
  • lolwut

    My personal favourite moments with time -

    00:06 – The first time you see them doing their dicktarded little choreographed squatting.
    00:36 – They apparently borrowed Cher’s Autotune for the chorus of this song to mask the fact that their vocalist patently has down syndrome.
    01:36 – When the singer and bassist adopt a new “running whilst standing still” move but the guitarist is still doing his signature “Crab Squat”
    01:42 – Keyboardist dicktard gets his first little Korg break after thus far only contributing the keyboard preset Haunting Gothic 003.
    02:29 – When Moley McDown-Syndrome rears up on his hind legs and roars as his own cameraman evidently recoils in horror.
    02:46 – People asking themselves how the chronic level of sucking could possibly become more tangible have their question answered as the song becomes a feeble techno number and the band start to Riverdance just in case they haven’t yet been gifted their own private new layer of hell.

    Non time specific -

    - The joy of knowing that their weird collective pant-shitting dance will almost certainly blight their future lives with incurable back-pain.
    - The knowledge that someone out there forked out enough $$$ to make not one but two distinct videos featuring this cavalcade of molten effluence.
    - The fact that literally everyone in the band went for the black muscle T with tattoos and straightened hair look without exception.
    - The mental image that at some point before this video was made, either they all sat in make-up and had their hair industrially straightened or individually owned the necessary equipment and know-how to straighten their own hair in the comfort of their own homes. I can’t decide which of these two possibilities delights me more.

  • RaZZo

    wow.
    what an electrifying personality.

  • Ziltoid

    I finally got to watching this video, and wow he sounds like an idiot. But at least their label or whoever handles promotion is smart enough to use the crabcore thing to make some money.

  • crotch cricket

    i need to give these guys some fuel for their next album….this band is fucking stupid, this kid is fucking stupid, crabcore is fucking stupid, nothing about this interview left me feeling anything positive towards this band.

    I’m actually going to pray tonight that somewhere, sometime, this band will die.
    Horrifically.

  • visforvajeen

    you think this shit is bad, here’s them recording their album, complete with, I kid you not, TICKLE FIGHTS! these are the gayest kids this side of the mississippi
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxAeeedlzt4&feature=channel

    • lolwut

      i want my 5 minutes of life back and i just lost my desire to play dota smoke camels and do vocals after watching this>.>

  • Johnny

    CrabFuckingCore. Ha.Ha.Ha.

  • Randy

    Don’t get me wrong I dislike Attack! Attack! as much as the next guy, but the interviewer asked some strange/long winded questions too. Like when he was talking about the shirts with colors and kept talking forever. Be a bro? What?

  • Big Nick

    I have a very open mind, especially with music, but anything involving Attack! Attack! makes me wanna punch myself in the face repeatedly.

  • Aya

    Hmm, don’t be too hard on him. He probably doesn’t know much about music.
    Someone should tell him to visit here, then he’ll know what’s good and what’s not. lol

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      i thought the metal sucks crowd were being too hard on broseph.

      and then i heard autotune on their record.

      fuck them and the corporation that created them.

      • Chris

        I’m with you on this one. I initially felt pity for this kid – after all, it’s not nice to make fun of the mentally disadvantaged.

        Then I heard the music. – debasement and betrayal of everything underground bands have been doing since the late eighties. Bands can get away with many sins in this scene, but this degree of ignorance of and incuriousness is inexcusable.

        Never mind the oxygen of publicity, these guys should be denied the oxygen of oxygen (to quote the late great Linda Smith).

  • Lady Luck

    The furthest education this guys received is first lesson art class in his community colledge. Yeah no shit idiot, bright colous attract. Ironically, its the same bright colours which are vomited from the mouths of the poor suffering souls who are studip enough to listen to you music and your interveiws. Shut the fuck up. Now.

    • (required)

      Oh man… try to avoid misspelling community college when you’re making fun of it.

      • Lady Luck

        Out of everything that is wrong and terrible in this post, that’s the one thing you are struck by so much so that you are compelled to bitch about it? Good for you spelling nazi.

  • i think

    cant wait for the new album the last one was good should be #1 on the list

  • http://richarddawkins.net/ RICHARD DAWKINS

    FUCK THEIR CHRISTIAN LYRICS.

    • Chris

      Now, I hate god-botherers as much as the next man (where’s a lion when you need one), but I can’t say I spent much time listening to the lyrics. It’s a bit like Robert Mugabe’s Hitler mustache – it’s obviously an issue, but it’s not the first thing that needs to be addressed

  • RobotScythe

    I love watching keyboard players try to headbang while playing. Sorry, there’s nothing you can do to make keyboards look hardcore.

    They look like every other kid who divides their time hanging out between the Hot Topic and Guitar Center.

    Seriously. how can you differentiate one band from the other?? Every band these days is completely interchangable look and soundwise.

  • (required)

    Christian lyrics: Not Metal
    Tickle Fights: Not Metal
    Inarticulate Prepubescent Singer: Not Metal
    Overly Tuned Cher-style Vocals: Punishable by Painful Death

  • chauncey chompers

    so kids these days are borderline retarded. Im fucking glad Im almost 30.

    I guess there’s a whole genre of music where christian kids who should be working at taco bell are playing in bands now. thats a bummer. I’m going to listen to Sadus and try and forget about what I saw.

  • Lord Bling

    This band makes IWABO look like Opeth.

    • Offal Love

      I actually had to look up who you meant by IWABO.

      And yes, they do make them look like Opeth.

  • http://www.mosh-pitt.com Music T-shirts

    I never see a blog like these. What an appearance.

  • baraaisu

    SWEET JESUS.
    the list of reasons why i hate my generation continues to grow.

  • SonOF

    Wow, he’s slow…check out the blank stare on his face.

    This should be a “stay in school” advertisement. Unfortunately he is dumb as a brick and probably living a pretty good life that most people wouldn’t mind.

  • Anthony

    BTW, this Attack Attack! Only has one exclmation point. Attack! Attack! (with 2) are a Welsh pop-rock band.

  • http://chroniclesofchaos.com Daniel Cairns

    Ah ha! This is gold.

    ‘Yep! Simple, that’s all I am!’

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shai-Rilov/502027006 Shai Rilov

    looks like simple jack went and joined a band

  • metalocalyptic_death

    he said they got heavy breakdowns. pshhhh haha

  • eatmydick

    you metal heads are fucking idiots

  • Jake E.

    your are all fucking stupid. The interviewer was asking some stupid ass question and messing him up!!! Attack Attack is amazing!!!