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Haterade

MOTORGRATER IS CERTAINLY GRATING

 Monday, July 27th, 2009 at 3:00pm by

Motograter-er01

I remember getting to Ozzfest 2003 early enough to catch some key bands on the second stage – specifically, Voivod, Killswitch Engage, Chimaira and Shadows Fall – and I have some vague memories of some other band that played during the day whilst adorned in sub-Wes Borland grease paint that gave them the appearance of a group of Mushroomhead rejects. For years I’ve dismissed it as a false memory, born of my Jewish psychosis and too much drugs and alcohol, but, no, as it turns out, this wasn’t just some fever dream: the horrible, horrible band was called Motorgrater, and they are very, very real.

And reader Chadd Smith, who apparently hates me at least as much as Ben Keegan, tells me that Motograter have reunited. And some reasearch shows that he is correct.

Seriously, guys. I was in a good morning when we started this morning. Remember that awesome new Slayer song? And now all you cats do is bring me down. What the fuck?

ANWAY, this band is really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucky. And I’d just like to take this opportunity to tell everyone who goes to see one of their reunion shows to suck my left nut. But not the right nut: don’t you dare touch the right nut. It’s too good for you, you fucking Motorgrater fan.

-AR

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  • Tommy Lindbergsen

    This is laughable and embarrassing….what a shitty band.

  • Agmkreptile

    its like 5 finger death punch…with paint.

    • Uglymicrowave

      That is the singer of FFDP!

      hahah what a joke…

      • Tommy Lindbergsen

        Five Finger Death Punch sucks too.

        • dlux

          amen!

        • poopsmcgee

          when people tell me they like five finger death punch i laugh at them.

      • bubba T

        Its a different singer now…not Ivan. Not that it matters though, still sucks left nuts.

  • http://dmxrr15@hotmail.com IsntaTOTALdouchebag10

    The singer of 5 finger death punch was the singer in this band, go figure…

  • SourDeez

    Why would anyone go through the trouble of inventing an instrument just to play horrendous nu metal?

  • Lorenzo

    Can anyone else picture the lead singer practicing all these moves in front of the mirror before this video shoot?

    “Yeah they ain’t gonna get it twisted when I throw down these sweet ass hand gestures!”

  • Kevin

    Do they slay groupies backstage with the paint on?

  • Offal Love

    I may be discrediting myself when I say this, but I do enjoy 2 FFDP songs, though I really don’t find anything special about this band here. I got applaud their ingenuity, inventing a “motograter”, though I’m sure it would be put to better use in a different band or something, where they don’t have fucking simultaneous shitty lead/rhythm/bass riffs to drown out the sound of it.

  • metalguy

    what exactly didthat instrument do? and has anyone seen pix of the worlds biggest food fight? singer looks like he lost it

    • groverXIII

      It was like a detuned bass that they played with a drumstick. You couldn’t really hear it.

  • Me

    I’ve definitely heard worse. Motograter isn’t horrible; obviously nothing special, but nothing warranting such a hateful post. And Slayer is repetitive and boring, better than Motograter, but nothing to write home about.

  • groverXIII

    Poor Ivan Moody… he was late to the party for nu-metal, and then late to the party for metalcore.

    Motograter had a few songs that I liked… they weren’t anything great, but Ivan Moody’s voice is decent (even if his lyrics are retarded) and they had decent production going on. I haven’t listened to them in quite some time.

  • tim

    At first, I was thinking, “Alright, not TOO bad, nothing great, but decent.” Then they actually got into the song. I now hate this band.

  • timmah

    this > dropping a popped locket amirite???

  • ceth

    Axl’s write up has some pretty strong words to be coming from a Skunk Anansie and IWRESTLEDABEARONCE nut sucker!

    • Motoghost

      Thank you!

  • earth2tom

    Do I automatically lose my metal cred if I actually used to like one Motograter song? I don’t remember the name of the song, but it was mean and vaguely antireligious. I am a sucker for anyone dissin’ God or religion. I even became a one night Sinead Oconner fan once. Besides guys, this beats a Quick Limp Dick reunion anyday right? Well? Ahh fuck it SLAYER!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/ihopeyourot Dave

    Motograter = Poor man’s Mudvayne.

    • http://ultimateposerblog.blogspot.com Ultimate Poser Blog

      Mudvayne = poor man’s metal

      • I Hate Ziltoid aka Nacho Cheese Doritos

        Poor man’s metal = Motograter…the cycle continues!

  • Walker

    I remember seeing this band at that ozzfest as well, and when they hit the stage it was like that scene from Nick and Noras infinite playlist. The entire crowd drifts away while one dude is going insane, screaming all the lyrics and trying to start a pit. I remember the lead singer covered in baby powder and not wearing shoes, and whoever the fuck playing their made up instrument, just banging away, and I thinking, wow, someone in some record company really thought this would make money because of slipknot and mudvayne. Then the 20 mins were up, the whole set rotates and thank god Chimaria hits the stage.

    • GamlaSonn

      haha epic story man

  • Elitist Fuck

    I’d much rather listen to Humanity Will Suffer, and I’d really rather not listen to Humanity Will Suffer.

  • http://www.theblacklaser.net Joe The Wizard

    At the very least, Jessica Biel is hot as fuck. On the other hand, this band chokes on a thousand cocks.

  • kingheadcrab

    a friend of mine ripped one of their cd’s to my comp so he could put it on his ipod. i never listened to it for six months, then one day decided to delete it. guess i made the right choice

  • Dying Season

    You know that phrase, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Totally doesn’t apply here.

  • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

    This is sooooooo 2001…

  • chase

    hey man, ease off the vaporizer. your writing is starting to suffer. reading about how you were in a good morning this morning makes me want to not read the rest.

  • google

    gay

  • ChaddSmith

    Hahhahaha. Can’t believe you actually posted this!!

    Glad you all hate them as much as me.

  • Heavy Metal

    That grease paint must take forever to wash off.

  • http://www.myspace.com/finalriot BigEvilMetalhead

    I was never really a fan of this band.. they were ok I guess… I don’t like FFDP for sure… the dude has a good growl.. if he were in a REAL metal band they might not be bad!

  • Sean Pulatie

    I’ve actually seen these guys live twice – once at Ozzfest 2003, and once opening for Mushroomhead sometime before that.

    (Before you tell me how “gay” Mushroomhead is, they put on one hell of a live show.)

    Motograter was at least entertaining. I remember laughing my ass off at the one guy playing the instrument the band’s named after. Reminded me of seeing Slipknot’s live show, where 3 guys are actually doing something and the rest are just kind of standing there, playing some vague instrument every few bars and headbanging for the rest.

    All that being said, the band accomplished more than any band I’ve ever been in. If they are indeed back together, they’ll probably swing through Omaha, and it’ll be a cheap metal show, and I’ll probably go.

  • shelly

    O let me get this right..all u rejects have time to do is sit there and bag on a band that is more talented than your fucking sorry ass! Cool. Let me see you fucking do what they do, and let us not forget that music is like wine, it gets better with time-u fucking idiots! Well, at least that is just my opinion. Just as your opinion of Motograter doesn’t make it true neither does mine. You all may be intelligent but I know you are haters with no life!! Quit being downers and let artist be artist..FUCK!

    • nick

      THANK YOU!!! I love these guys and 5fdp..fuckin queers