MARILYN MANSON: ANTI-BLOG SUPERSTAR
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 at 11:00am by Axl Rosenberg
A tweet from The Syndicate alerted me to this story about the recent re-launch of Buddyhead.com, “the original snarky music website.” Seems that Buddyhead founder Travis Keller made some off-the-cuff comments about Manson’s fashion sense (or lack thereof). Manson, in turn, decided to take the high road but issuing an open challenge to bloggers everywhere:
I can, but do not need to defend myself And the absurd accusations that the average press has clinged onto. If we need a nude photo of me to prove that I am far different than the soon-to-be-murdered-in-their-home press has decided to fabricate, that is easy. But if one more “journalist” makes a cavalier statement about me and my band, I will personally or with my fans help, greet them at their home and discover just how much they believe in their freedom of speech. I dare you all to write one more thing that you won’t say to my face. Because I will make you say it. In that manner. That is a threat. Mm
I’m trying to visualize a scenario in which Marilyn Manson actually acquires my home address, achieves a mental state that’s close enough to sobriety to allow him to successfully type it into Google and print out the directions, and then makes it all the way over here without getting distracted and sucking off a vagrant along the way. He rings the doorbell, I open the door, and he says “I’m Marilyn Manson and I don’t like what you’ve been saying about me on the internet.” Now let’s pause it right here. What does he think the reaction to that is going to be? Does he seriously think anyone over the age of two would be afraid at this point? And what is he going to do exactly to “make me say it,” slap me? And why would he think he even has to make me in the first place, when I’d be more than happy to voluntarily tell him he’s a hack?On the other hand, am I seriously supposed to be afraid of anyone who would openly admit to being a Marilyn Manson fan, much less anyone who would blindly take orders from a washed up, middle aged poser in clown makeup?To be fair, I’ve never said any of these things to Manson’s face, and I’d guess most of his other critics never have, either. That’s mainly because I don’t know him personally, and therefore do not tend to find myself in situations where I would say things to him like “Hey Marilyn Manson, did you see any movies this weekend?” or “Hey Marilyn Manson, can you pass the Tabasco sauce?” So, as a result of not being in such situations, I also lack the opportunity to say “Hey Marilyn Manson, what in the goddamned hell is wrong with you?” Of course, if it makes him feel better to think that I do have the opportunity but instead choose to cower in fear behind my computer because I’m afraid he’ll murder me to death, then, well, okay. Whatever. Here in America, you’re free to do that too.
Hey Marilyn Manson, since you’re reading this right now and probably cutting yourself, why don’t you shoot me an email and we can go have some coffee (your treat) while I explain to you, in painstaking detail, exactly why you are irrelevant and your fans are retards. Of course, I’ll be wearing a hat, sunglasses and fake mustache so as to avoid the possibility of anyone I know seeing me talking to you, but I’ll totally do it. Ball’s in your court, dude. Either put up or shut up (preferably the latter).
There isn’t much more to say about this, except: Dear Mr. Manson. I am a snarky blogger who has said some not so nice things about you in the past (I’ve also said some nice things, but whatever). I will be at the Mayhem show in Camden next week. Please come find me and beat me up. I’m 99.9% certain I can sue you if you do, and I could really use the money. Thanks!
-AR
This totally reminds me of the end of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back when they go door to door beating up 12 year olds that talked shit on the internet. The point of the internet is so people can slander others anonymously!!! Get the fuck over it Manson.
YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS!
What do they say? We’ll make you eat our shit, shit it out. Then eat your shit that used to be our shit but is now your shit. I think its something like that. Comedy gold ladies and gentlemen.
LOL! yeah totally reminds me of that movie! I think Manson should try and watch that movie to calm himself the fuck down. LOL!
marilyn manson isn’t dead!!!?, i don’t know if should post on this im afraid of a house call from the dick less wonder. Im pritty sure he couldn’t beat his way out of a wet paper sack, so sleep safe manson bashers!
What a piece of shit Manson is.
Seriously, he gets offended by some harsh words on the internet?
Seriously?
Manson hasnt done anything vagually significant in a long long time and this kind of talk from him makes him come across as the washed up rockstar having some kind of midlife crisis that he is. Come to think of it did he ever do anything significant…….Its kind of a shame.
Given the choice between meeting a random Tawny owl or the increasingly dull Manson, the owl would win every time. Regardless of whatever mood he was in on the given day – I’m sure we’d have a hoot.
Enjoyed this thoroughly. Well played.
BWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA indeed.
+100!!
“I’m trying to visualize a scenario in which Marilyn Manson actually acquires my home address, achieves a mental state that’s close enough to sobriety to allow him to successfully type it into Google and print out the directions, and then makes it all the way over here without getting distracted and sucking off a vagrant along the way.”
LMFAO! This man caters to my journalistic needs.
I don’t have strong feelings for him one way or the other but Mr Keller just beasted this
Funny article, but Manson still put on a hell of a show Friday. I’ll also take pasty white goth kids over the loud, drunk, obnoxious Slayer fans anyday
This was the most un-metal thing I have read in a good 2 years. Fuck you cock-basket. Now I have to go watch an Amon Amarth video just to cleanse the old eyeballs.
I’m afraid he’ll murder me to death, then, well, okay.”
well i think you just murdered the english language
hahahahahahahahahahahahahah fuck me i thought the same shit. Awesome
Christ, Manson is a douchebag. What’s he going to do when he show’s up at someone’s hose and they do say something unkind to his face? Slap them, like the guy in the article said? That’s fine, there’s an assault charge right there, and if he does it twice, it goes up to assault and battery. If he tries to follow the guy into his house and the state has a castle doctrine law, no more Manson.
Here’s a lesson, fuckass – freedom of speech applies to everyone, even if it is critics talking shit about your (shitty) music. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean a goddamned thing, and it’s not libel, there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it.
I can actually kinda see where Manson’s coming from. It’s really easy to talk shit about someone behind their back, and it’s probably annoying to see your work get ripped to shreds by kids at home on their computers.
The threat, though, is kinda pointless. He is pretty dumb.
are you kidding me? when you’re as infamous as manson, and everything you do is under a spotlight, then you better fucking be ready to take some criticism. you would think manson could take a step back, look at himself, and realize why so many people dislike him. after his little threat via internet, i , and i’m sure many others, hate him even more. this dude is a world-class tool.
I for one would think that Manson has better things to do with his time, like finding another piece of borderline jailbait ass to fuck. But I guess Dakota Fanning turned him down, so now he has to kill time by making empty threats, some of which involve the slackjawed yokels that make up his fifth-rate cult, I mean “diehard fanbase”.
Dakota fanning isn’t “borderline” jailbait, dude. She’s like 14.
She’s 15, so there’s only 3 more years until i find her unnattractive.
hahaha
lmfao gold
What makes him a hack?
I understand that arguing or taking offense to anything said over the internet is like getting the gold in the special olympics but attacking manson for his clothing appearance? SERIOUSLY?1 OMG seriously?1
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This guy needs a new fucking hobby.
Like knitting.
ill be at the mayhem fest in camden too.
Ugh manson. I sed to really like this guy. he’s turned into such a cliche it’s saddening. He only talked about sex drugs and beating people up in interviews. His music is just nowhere near where it once was. He’s been packing on the pounds as his hairline has been falling back (woner why he’s always got that hood on now?) Last time i saw him was w/slayer at the pnc center in NJ last summer and his stage show was just pathetic. I mean, the thought process that went into it must have been pure TAPP. “well the songs called fight song, so what if I came out dressed as like, a boxer?” and i hope he stopped using that lame portable mic with the plastic knife at the end.
The back and forth is bullshit, and who the fuck really cares? But when you attack an artist’s fans your going way beyond the artist. What the fuck right does this asshole have to say about hundreds of thousands of fans he doenst know shit about? Hey Travis fuckin suck it dry, Im not even gonna waste my time coming to your house, ima send a fuckin pissed off steroidal midget overnight fed-ex, bitch.
talking about MM is fueling his sense of self importance. just leave him alone and he’ll probably OD in due time.
You should be careful with what you say dudes, don’t forget that Manson’s fanbase kill their classmates in Columbine and stuff…
fail
fuck manson aye!
my best fucking friend is obssesed! i swear to demon that its not normal!
she dresses like him, deams about a life together with him, she has posters of him, ciggy cases of him and fucking hell!
could anyone imagion in the deepest nightmare, living with the cunt, sleeping with the cunt, like.. whod want him shoving his (dose he even have balls) dick into u!! like.. FUCK THAT SHIT aye!!
FUCKED I TELL YA!
Uhhh manson is reaching all possible limits of being a complete shit fart (aka douche bag)
Manson had his 15 minutes of fame when he released Antichrist Superstar, now that Reznor is out of the picture I don’t really see the validity of his work anymore, not that shock-rock ever had any validity to begin with.
I really can’t say I like MM, I don’t think I have heard him, but Buddyhead, if I remember was some hipster indie rock garbage. I thought I remember them doing a DEP and maybe an Ink and Dagger record but the rest of their bands were garbage. Why would this guy even take the time to write about MM? They are in 2 different scenes.
I actually dug Marilyn’s first three albums as I thought they were a great portrayal of the American people’s morose obsession with celebrities and fame. After those three though, I find myself forgetting about him. I think he could achieve the greatness of the first three albums if he latched onto a specific theme that isn’t drugs/alcohol/depression ala Eminem.
Ok Mason is good i am not a big manson fan but i like his Music and u all need to stop bashing the guy u dont know him and either do i so we should not juge