From the “Too Weird Not to Share” files: Over at Bazillion Points, Ian Christe has dug up a photocomic of Venom’s Cronos doing battle with Thor – yes, the Norse deity turned Marvel superhero – over Pantera. And by “Pantera,” I mean Thor’s wife. Not the metal band. ‘Cause I don’t think Norse gods care about Texas metal.

The comic comes from an ’84 issue of Kerrang!. I can’t even imagine how people would react if, say, Randy Blythe tried to pull off some shit like this in 2009. Although now that I typed that, I’d love see him try. Especially if he wore the leather shorts.

Check out the rest of the comic here.

-AR

More new music for your Monday. Hoo-ray!

• Vader have a new song, “We are the Horde,” streaming here. The track comes off the band’s forthcoming, uniquely titled Necropolis, which comes out September 22. At this point, Vader is barely the band that made Kingdom, but, hey, it still sounds nice n’ brutal.
• Winds of Plague are streaming a new song, “Soldiers of Doomsday,” here. It comes off their new album, The Great Stone War, which comes out August 11 on Century. And here’s the thing about the record: yes, Johnny Plague dresses like a mo’ron, and yes, Kristen Randall really could have handled that whole boobie incident better. But the band can clearly play, and seem to be moving in a more Sumeriancore direction. I’m not sure that this album is the greatest thing ever, but it is wwwwaaaayyyyy better than I assumed it would be. So at least give the song a listen before you start bitching. ‘Cause I’m legitimately curious to hear what peeps think of it.

-AR

One of the problems with reunions is that there’s always the possibility that a band has lost that old special magic. This potential issue is, naturally, amplified when said reunited group decides to record material.

So I’m over the moon that the new Skunk Anasie song, “Tear the Place Up,” sounds pretty much like vintage Skunk – which is to say, it rocks. You can check out the video below; the song will appear on a greatest hits package sometime later this year.

-AR

Not quite as interesting as the brouhaha that unfolded betwixt Dillinger Escape Plan guitarist Ben Weinman and Disturbed guitarist Dan Donegan last year, but chuckle-inducing nonetheless: Digital Music News reports that a funny tiff involving pizza-stealing and beer-splashing unfolded between P2P application company Limewire and Dovecote Records (whose metal offshot Deathcote records has such MetalSucks-approved acts as Brother Von Doom and Don the Reader) at a party hosted by the former last week.

To make a very long blog short, Dovecote members accidentally grabbed some pizza at a New York bar, thinking the food was free. A LimeWire employee reported yelled at these individuals, excoriating them for stealing. After learning that the party was hosted by LimeWire, the Dovecote crew was shocked at the hypocrisy. One Dovecote member grabbed an entire box and dashed for the door, only to get doused by beer on the way out.

Read more about the hilarious conversational exchange on Dovecote’s blog. Massive LOLz. Kudos to the Dovecote crew for being awesome!

-VN

Our friends at Metal Injection tell us that our other friends at The Apparatus have compiled a 21 track collection of awesome songs by awesome unsigned tech metal bands. How much would you pay for this awesome comp? Five dollars? Ten dollars? Fifteen dollars?!?! Well, guess what, suckas: IT’S FREE! So you are actually, definitively, objectively a moron if you don’t download it.

You can get info on all the bands who appear on the comp here, or just download the darn thing here.

-AR

MetalSucks correspondent Angela Gossowski sent me the below video over the weekend, and while the idea of air sex probably seems pretty funny when you’re drunk, it doesn’t do much for me sober (and, yes, I am sober at least 35% of the time). Plus, this dude apparently calls himself Cock-a-licious. So, um, yeah.

But, hey! Slayer. So that’s always good. I don’t think I’ve ever had sex to Slayer, but it seems like it could be fun.

-AR

[via AfroJacks]

“Apocalyptic Havoc” is one hell of a heroic entrance for Goatwhore on Carving Out the Eyes of God. It sounds like a pack of angry attack dogs (Dobermans or maybe Rotweilers) breaking their ropes and charging full speed into a crowded nursery. Not a lot of bands can build up your adrenaline from 0 that fast and after a couple listens you’ll be screaming “Alriiiigggghtttt!!” in unison with Mr. Falgoust. Forty minutes later, as you catch your breath again, you’ll probably be thinking the same thing as the rest of us: This is the catchiest album Goatwhore have ever released.

Click to read more…