Presenting “Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit Up,” by Germany’s excellent monikered DJ Morgoth.

Believe it or not, I found out about about this from a tweet from ex-NINer Danny Lohner.

-AR

In case you haven’t already noticed we’re super-stoked that Cave In are back together and once again creating new music. Their new single “Retina Sees Rewind” is currently available on iTunes with the rest of the record Planets of Old coming on 12″ on July 28th. Oh hey guess what? The entire record is now streaming live at www.planetsofold.com, starting… this instant!

The folks at Hydra Head Records have been kind enough to hook us up with 3 limited edition vinyl copies of Planets of Old to give away to ya’ll. Each 12″ is on a color of vinyl called “All Natural Vanilla Pistachio Ice Creams,” a color that’s exclusively available either via this contest or at Vacation Vinyl, the metal record store Hydra Head co-founder Mark Thompson opened this past February.

All you have to do to win is post a comment below (with a valid email address) telling us which Cave In record is your favorite and why. We’ll be picking our three favorite entries (independent of our personal favorite Cave In record preferences) and notifying the winners next week.

-VN

You know what I’d enjoy even more than a new Dethklok album? Some new Metalocalypse episodes. When the frick is that show coming back?

While we all hold our breath and wait, here’s the cover for Dethklok’s The Dethalbum II, which comes out September 8 on Williams Street Records. Unfortunately the copy that was sent to us is teeny tiny. Hopefully we’ll get a better look soon.

And in case you’re wondering – yes, there is a “Murmaider II” on the record. Better than “Unforgiven IV,” I guess.

-AR

The band’s Doris Yeh recently did a photo shoot for the Taiwanese edition of softcore mag FHM. So take that, Revolver’s Hottest Chicks in Metal.

There’s nothing else to say, really. And besides, my guess is that by now a portion of you have stopped reading in favor of touching yourselves.

If you feel so inclined, you can look at more pictures here.

-AR

[via The Deciblog]

A new, disturbing trend or a one-off anomaly? Let’s hope for the latter. @EvilWes sent us a message on Twitter with an alarming and disturbing link to the MySpace page of a band who describe themselves as “New Orleans Bro-Core.” The band, The Unwilling Commencement, sound pretty much like what you’d expect something termed “Bro-Core” to sound like; guttural death metal growls and occasional rapping over continuous breakdowns and recycled metalcore riffs that serve as the actual breakdowns. T.U.C. lists Whitechapel, Winds of Plague, Emmure and Lil’ Wayne as their influences.

Fuck this band. Right?

-VN

Our friends at Metal Insider made an interesting discovery over the weekend: Dope are no longer listed on the bill for the upcoming Pedal to the Metal tour. The tour is being headlined by Mudvayne and also features Black Label Society and Static-X.

MI wonders aloud if Dope have been kicked off the tour; I would obviously love if it that were the case, but I fear that the official explanation will be considerably less entertaining.

Still, for the sake of amusing myself, I’d like to pretend that Dope have been kicked off the tour (I’d also like to pretend that Static-X have been kicked off the tour, but I have no basis for that fantasy right now). So, to that end, I’d just like to serenade the members of Dope with this little ditty:

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA, YOU GOT BOOTED, HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA, YOUR BAND SUCKS.

That is all.

-AR

With the help of a time machine, I want to travel back to 2007 when I saw He Is Legend play live in support of their troubled sophomore album Suck Out The Poison. Such a record at first evaded my comprehension, as should an intermittently great melody record that manages to do absolutely nothing else right. After the slickly produced, flawlessly arranged, and powerfully executed debut I Am Hollywood, Suck was more easily characterized by its failures, from free-hand, impactless production by a bewildered Steve Evetts (E. Town Concrete, Symphony X) to singer Schuyler Croom’s most aggravating collection of overwrought imagery and affected rasping. Gone was the crisp, shimmery He Is Legend sound, and in its place lay this coil of turds, this raped corpse of I Am Hollywood, an avenging of its immediacy and neatness with corny Southern rockisms, petulant croaking, and cardboard dynamics.

Anyway, on that groggy summer evening, He Is Legend took the stage, revealing the visual counterpart to their sonic transformation; they now resembled a Black Crowes cover band – no longer emo-haircut types – and, from the stage, my facial expressions during the first song must have been hilarious: blank non-recognition (huh yet another opener?) to perplexity (wait, this sounds familiar) to shock (oh that’s them wtf?). And if Suck’s uniform is a ratty denim jacket and Pabst Blue Ribbon tee, then a sport jacket and $260 jeans adorn It Hates You, their third album. It’s both the band’s heaviest and most ethereal record, a progressive and aggressive album that (thank balls) repeats none of Suck’s mistakes, save for Croom’s penchant for the melodramatic. Still, his successes are numerous and triumphant, and, like I Am Hollywood, Hates isn’t ashamed of its populist tendencies, its confident and careful melodies and propulsive rhythms.

Click to read more…

I don’t actually know anything about Six Feet Under’s record sales. For all I know, the actual economics render everything I’m about to type moot.

But to me, Six Feet Under recording another one of their Graveyard Classics albums – e.g., covers of non-metal songs that were fine the way they were turned into death metal songs that no one I know will ever actually listen to – seems like Eddie Murphy announcing Pluto Nash 2 or Van Halen announcing a new album with Gary Cherone. What a waste of time, energy, and money.

Also, by all appearances Six Feet Under songs aren’t all that hard to write, so you wonder why the band doesn’t just make a new album instead. At least then they wouldn’t be butchering anyone’s music but their own.

In case you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing a SFU Graveyard Classics album, here’s the band doing AC/DC’s “TNT” for a shitload of people who are apparently way more into it than I am.

-AR

This is Phil Anselmo performing Alice in Chains’ “Nutshell” in Tel Aviv.

And… that’s all I have to say about this.

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

Alright, so just to play catch-up: last week Anthrax canceled some European dates because new vocalist Dan Nelson was apparently ill. We didn’t report on that because, well, it’s not, like, exciting news or anything. People get sick. Sometimes those people are performers who consequently have to miss performances. It sucks for the fans but it happens. Whatever.

But now Blabbermouth has made an interesting observation, one which suggests that all might not be well in Anthrax-land:

Click to read more…

While keeping fans on the line for the follow-up to 2007′s ridiculously underrated Riders of the Plague, The Absence are throwing fans a bone by teaming up with Ultimate-Guitar.com to offer one would-be shredder the opportunity to have a guest solo on the band’s new record. Entrants can download a rhythm guitar track from the contest page, add their shred over top of it, then submit it to the band as a YouTube video via Ultimate-Guitar.com. The winner gets “a chance” to have the solo included on the new record (which we’re guessing is just an insurance policy in case all the entries suck), and a slew of runners-up will receive an autographed CD, t-shirt, stickers and “other,” whatever that means.

The 15-year-old version of Vince Neilstein just got a giant boner; what a cool thing for the band to do. I wish the Intrawebs were around when I was a kid! Instead I had to settle for listening to 1984 and No More Tears on repeat whilst posing in front of the mirror and pretending to be EVH / Zakk Wylde. I had a helluva Zakk Wylde impression though; you shoulda seen it.

Check out The Absence on MySpace.

-VN

The above photo of Attack! Attack!, from the NY Times review of this past weekend’s Vans Warped Tour, has one of the funniest captions I’ve ever read.

Unfortunately, the author, Jon Caramanica, praises Attack! Attack! for having “one of the day’s best sets.” But he does include this tidbit, which made me giggle:

Click to read more…

Chocolate chips pancake. Black coffee. Burnt toasts with butters. No fruits. Empty calories ist krieg.

Speakings of “Empty”: this ist inspired by my friends, Satan Rosenbloom. May it sends you to an early graves.

-NC

Alright, people. I feel like fucking death. I just wanna go lie down and hopefully never wake up. Let’s get this over with:

• We finally finished the goddamn motherfucking list with “Albums We Wish Had Made It” entries from my man Vince (Soilwork’s Natural Born Chaos) and my girl Amy Sciarretto (DEP’s not-really-eligible Calculating Infinity).
• We got another exclusive world tour video tour diary from Misery Index. We also spoke with Johnny Kelly of Type O Negative and Seventh Void and got our bro-bros at Thrash Hits to do a video interview with Trigger the Bloodshed for us. Thanks, dudes.
• We lost IQ points just watching this video interview with the singer of Attack! Attack!
• We have it on good authority that there’s gonna be an Acid Bath reunion.
• Dallas Coyle is now answering your questions.
• So is Gwar’s Oderus Urungus.

We’ll be at Summer Slaughter on Sunday. If any of you spot us and want to buy us a drink, please, for the love of all things holy, don’t.

-AR

This is for the song “Sugar Daddy,” off of the band’s awesome Evolution Through Revolution (read Satan Rosenbloom’s review here).

Awesome grind just seems to be falling like mana from Heaven this year, don’t it?

-AR

1. Eddie Ojeda.
2. Joey Belladonna.
3. Joey Belladonna’s manager.
4. Click to read more…

The new William Rot (is that his real name?!?)-directed Keith Caputo video, “Bleed for Something Beautiful,” is, in fact, quite pleasing to the eye (the naked lady doesn’t hurt, either). It also really reminds me of a douchie Calvin Klein ad. So I’m a little torn between the fact that I do like the way the video was shot, and the fact that it isn’t metal, like, at all. And that I think stupid hipsters might really be into it.

Also, the song is not that memorable. I appreciate what Caputo is going for, I just don’t dig it that much.

Watch the Caputo clip below, then let us know your thoughts in the comments section. As though you needed our permission.

Caputo’s latest, A Fondness for Hometown Scars, is out now… in Europe.

-AR

Our brostafas at Metal Injection are running what has to be one of the most awesome contests ever: they’re giving one lucky unsigned band the opportunity to have David Brodsky of My Good Eye direct their video, absolutely free of cost. If you’re unfamiliar with Mr. Brodsky’s work, well – he’s one of the best and most prolific metal video directors out there right now, and has made clips for such bands as God Forbid, Pig Destroyer, Goatwhore, Suicide Silence, Hate Eternal, Soilent Green, Arsis, In This Moment, Unearth, Bleeding Through, and about a gajillion other bands I’m forgetting. His video for The Black Dahlia Murder’s “Everything Went Black” was voted the #1 video of 2008 by the viewers of Headbanger’s Ball. Obviously, having the guy do your band’s video would be an incredible (and did I mention free?) chance to have a great promotional tool.

Head over to Metal Injection for details on how to win this incredible contest. And tell ‘em MetalSucks sent ya.

-AR

Thanks to Metal Injection for buying me whiskey last night and for reminding me how cool Candiria were/are. Sure, there are some cringe-worthy rap moments in this song, but it’s not like they were following a trend — they created the trend. And mixed in with all the other genre-pushing elements of their music, it makes a whole lot more sense what Candiria were trying to do: something different. I’d love to see these guys do a show in a small club in Brooklyn some time soon; how ’bout it, guys?

-VN

What? You were expecting someone else?

-AR