TOP TEN THINGS WE HEARD HIPSTERS SAY AT ALL POINTS WEST THAT WE’D NEVER HEAR AT A REGULAR TOOL SHOW

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 4:15pm by

This past Saturday night, Vince and Axl bought tickets to hipster-douche fest All Points West with the express purpose of seeing Tool and Tool only. There was a serious and very visible divide in the crowd – namely, other metalheads vs. people who think Interpol is cool  – and your MetalSucks editors were privy to some pretty funny dialogue as a result:

  1. “I think they’re called, like, ‘Tools?’”
  2. <robot voice>”Intergalactic, planetary. Planetary, intergalactic.” </robot voice>
  3. Beat-boxing.
  4. “Gogol Bordello are awesome.”
  5. “Please don’t block my view of the stage.”
  6. “There won’t be any moshing. Look at all that mud! No one wants to get dirty.”
  7. “Where are the fried Oreos?”
  8. Scowling at Axl’s Slayer shirt.
  9. Scowling at Vince’s Paganfest shirt.
  10. “What’s that smell?”

No matter; Tool kicked major ass anyways. It’s like there’s an unspoken agreement between the band and their fans: “You bring the weed. We’ll bring the lasers.”

Here’s Tool at All Points West on Saturday night, performing with special guest drummer Frank Ferrer of Guns N’ Roses fame.

-AR & VN

  • hi my name is mark

    Hipsters suck.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Menard/502061034 Jesse Menard

    hahahaha “I think they’re called ‘Tools’?”

    Fucking kids.

  • http://www.thedevilsdemons.com vincent p

    I saw their show a few nights before APW on a trip home and yes, the lasers made the night.

  • Tanner

    I pity the fool who scowls at a guy wearing a Slayer shirt, they dont fuck around haha. I suffered a lot of that irritating banter too when i saw Tool.

  • darknessandevil

    YOU obviously have no clue what hipsters are!!! i’m sure there were tons of them at the fest though….first of all hipsters don’t like gogol bordello! LOL omg only dumb fat white college kids speak in robot voices and listen to gogol bordello and eat fried oreos……also btw every hipster from williamsburg to silverlake owns a SLAYER shirt and last of all TOOL sucks!!!! FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Paul

      and last of all TOOL sucks

      *snort*

    • TrapThem

      ha ha ha…you know something? you suck!!

      • Sam

        10,000 Days sucks! Tool overall does not.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-Sisserson/666082361 Brian Sisserson

      Wow.. that was completely unnecessary.

  • 10,000 Gays

    Meanwhile, in addition to these 10 things, you could hear the hundreds of belligerent comments made by Tool fans that you DO hear at a regular Tool show.

    “46 and 2… makes 48″ -Maynard

  • Charlie B

    Which is worst hipsters, or Tool fans? I would say it pretty even.

    • stu1

      “Worst?”

      • mattymatrix

        yeah…i would say people who think that “worst” is a word is worst.

        • alliaphagist

          worst *is* a word…

        • Axolotl

          Complete fail, doesn’t even realize it.

  • mano

    10) whats that smell?

    HAHAHAH

    • pg1313

      Funny shit…

      Tool = A

  • Sammy

    So, what WAS the smell? Axl or Vinnie?

  • Mark

    “other metalheads vs. people who think Interpol is cool”… what about metalheads who think Interpol is cool? DId they have their own little corner somewhere or something?

    • SP420

      You’ve got to be joking.

  • Phill

    I bet even Tool hate their own fans.

  • Z

    I’ll be seeing Tool twice this summer, this weekend at Lollapalooza and then in Pomona later in August. Fuck yeah. Did you guys see My Bloody Valentine, by any chance?

  • HxCKiD508

    I don’t think Tool hates all of their fans. They probably appreciate the time i meditated to Lateralus on mescaline and saw an aztec city unfold in front of me.

    • tiger

      lateralus on mescaline?i envy you…

      wtf, there is no mescaline in greece :)

      maynard is still the King

  • SP420

    You bring the weed? People are doing A LOT more than weed at a Tool show.

  • You’re doing it wrong

    Wait… Gogol Bordello are awesome. If you disagree, you either didn’t see their set, or you simply don’t like having fun. It was absolutely fantastic. Also, My Blood Valentine absolutely killed it that night! Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of obnoxious hipsters to be seen at APW, but I don’t think you presented very prime suspects. Personally, I was most offended by the Tool fans who thought they had the authority to chant “To-oool! To-oool!” and flip off the stage throughout the duration of My Bloody Valentine’s set.

    P.S. “That smell” was the human waste and garbage that the park is made out of (google the creation of Liberty State Park, I “shit” you not) being churned up by the rain and thousands of little indie footsteps. I’m sorry if it’s not tr00 to find that environment unsatisfactory.

    • MetalRod

      I must agree, I’ve seen Gogol live a few times, and every show was a beer-swigging good time.

      “And take your fucking drums with you” hahaha gotta love Maynard

    • bearbomb

      Yeah, in terms of sheer “fun factor” Gogol Bordello are one of the best I’ve ever seen. They bring more energy than most metal bands.

      • Fong Chung

        Hahaha, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Gogol Bordello. Ehhh too bad UB40′s DJ blew them off the stage.

        • Fufkin

          What if you don’t like gypsycore as a rule? I think that’s reasonable grounds.

    • groverXIII

      Glad I’m not the only one here who digs Gogol Bordello… they’re a truly unique band.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dru-Morrison/1641060092 Dru Morrison

    I was assuming number 10 was referencing the smell of weed? No?

  • patrik

    you sound as ignorant as your trying to portray hipster as

  • Dying Season

    I’m sick of hearing people say things like, “Tool are AMAZING!” They aren’t fucking amazing. I love when I see Tool fans wearing Tool shirts. Picture it in your mind… such an accurate representation.

    • Fong Chung

      Oh I picture plenty of Stool fans, they are the biggest bunch of idiots on earth. I suggested they check out Neurosis and Godflesh for their listening pleasure. But instead, they tell me those two bands are nothing more than noise lol. Sorry but Neurosis and Godflesh, have been around longer than Stool has, and waaaaaay better.

    • Sam

      They’re not amazing anymore.

    • SolaceInNothing

      Yeah dont you hate it when anyone has a good time ever? Thankfully we have people like you in the world to call us when we aren’t caring about insignificance.

  • ter

    “…other metalheads vs. people who think Interpol is cool…”

    HEY! I like Interpol & Tool!

    …But my opinion doesn’t count does it? Being that I’m just a silly 17 year old girl…

    That burns.

    • Brandon

      Interpol are, indeed, great. As are Tool. And that’s coming from someone who is neither 17 nor a girl. :)

      • Sam

        Nah, Interpol sucks.

  • Damotello

    I can beatbox, am I banned from Tool gigs?

  • mattymatrix

    yeah guys…careful with your condescention. especially when thats exactly what you’re accusing the hipsters of. Gogol Bordello was the second best band of the day (after tool).

  • Tommy Linbergsen

    Sounds like everyone at this show (bands included) need to be gassed.

    • Canvas Of Flesh

      That’d be great.

  • darknessandevil

    GOGOL BORDELLO are so bad, its fucking commercial gypsy music…those dudes play the WARPED TOUR!!! they’re just as bad as BROKENCYDE and for TOOL, come on dude, that shit was cool when i was in jr. high…i’m 30 years old now…..MOVE ON!!!!!!!1is everyone here still in Jr. High…..GEEEEEZ.

    • Rolling Thunder

      You sir, are a diaper.

      That is all you get.

  • oBEASTIALo

    gogol bordello> tool

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-Sisserson/666082361 Brian Sisserson

    Tool is fucking incredible.. you people bashin it are just ignorant.

  • http://zunetracks.net loganarchy

    Shit, I wanted to see these guys in the ATL so badly but the only person who would want to go with me to see Tool (who I bought 10,000 days for) didn’t want to see them because he only liked a few songs by them. Then a day before the event he said he was highly considering going….WTF? The tickets were all sold out at that point, though.

    How much do you guys pay to see Tool? There were tickets for $43, $53, and $63. I thought that was really expensive but after seeing this video I think they may be worth the money. (You want to hear some irony? The guy who I wanted to see Tool with me wants to see Paul McCartney and tickets for him are either $80 or $400)

  • Dlabs

    Tool was fucking amazing…I saw them for the first time sunday night

  • http://myspace.com/obeydarklord mr_Izan

    gogol bordello is effing awesome sorry if you cant realize it. plus you guys like dream theater…. ugh.

  • modia

    “I think they’re called, like, ‘Tools?’” Ha good ol’ valley-girl-style hipsterese…