ANOTHER SILLY LIST TO SHIT YOUR PANTS OVER
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Vince NeilsteinMS Maniac Todd R. sent in a list on Yahoo of the 25 Best Metal Bands. Although the author opens the piece by attempting to explain away the very blurry line of ye old “is it or isn’t it metal” debate, any attempt at qualification is instantly rendered moot by the very existence of such a list. The only way you can really qualify a list like this is to say “these are my favorite metal bands,” otherwise you get into all sorts of sticky epistemological and ontological (Google them) traps surrounding how you can actually determine what words like “good” and “best” mean and how they can be applied to music objectively.
So… Aerosmith at #8? Jimi Hendrix at #5? Whatever, dude.
When will this silly listmaking thing die? Never, as long as there’s hundreds of you guys willing and ready to get your panties all twisted up in a bunch about it! Speaking of which, tell us what you think of the Yahoo list in the comments, as if you needed an invitation to do so.
-VN
That list was pathetic!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW…terrible
and vince, wheres the funny photo caption contest winners
Janie no longer has her gun. I have it, and i’m pointing it at my temple.
lol
AC/DC are crap. Hendrix destroys them any day.
Aerosmith, Jimmy Hendrix, Zeppelin? Those are all early forms of hard rock, not metal at all….dumb, I guess we all have opinions…
the opening of “purple haze” is the most metal thing in the world. it blows my mind even more when i think he came up with that shit in the 60s. and led zeppelin, back when, was probably one of the most ferocious live bands on the face of the earth. i used to have this live version of “immigrant song” where jimmy page was literally shredding his balls off.
but i get what you’re saying. i mean, if you’re gonna make a list like this and include a lot of proto-metal bands why not throw on fucking mc5 or blue cheer while you’re at it? or better yet, fucking mountain. or ted nugent! OR IRON BUTTERFLY! yeah…
Yep, this list sucks too
Spinal Tap over Pantera? Give me a fucking break.
That was the only thing this list got right ! Nigel Tuffnel is 1000x’s smarter than any member of Pantera.
Even the dead ones ?
I know that whenever anyone asks me what music i prefer and I answer metal and the first words out of their mouth are ” So you like Metallica and Slayer?” This list was made by someone who studied what t-shirts people wore at an Ozzfest one year and assumed that these bands were the top 25 in metal. Isnt it funny to read what popular culture thinks of us?
He obviously doesn’t have a specialty in metal. I spotted 14 non-metal bands. Too bad really.
I’m pretty sure Ziltoid spotted at least 42 non metal bands in that list…
Even my Noisecreep lists are better than this!
That’s a pretty bad list, but I think the think that bugs me most is the fact that the author thinks “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” is “ponderous.” This dude needs to learn that ponderous is not a synonym of “absolutely fucking awesome.”
Im quite sure this chode has never heard the song, probably only seen the length of it and decided to try and be witty with his description.
you see, man? this is why you don’t do your research from wikipedia.
Mercyful Fate should have been higher on the list, and King Diamond should have been number 1. I don’t give a shit about the rest of the list.
You and me sir, we are brothers. Super brothers. Super duper brothers.
However, King Diamond and Mercyful Fate would either have to co-share the #1 spot, be counted AS one, or else the world might explode if they were #1 and #2.
poop, i say POOP
more than half is just rock.
“the self-titled Black Album is that one metal album that non-metal people own and pull out to prove they “like” heavy metal.”
funniest goddamn thing i’ve heard all day! LOL!
This list was originally released over a year ago under the title “the 25 bands who made Heavy Metal”on another website. It was intended to be about bands who influenced Metal, some of which were not actual metal bands. For some reason its been reprinted under the title of “25 best metal bands”, which is definitely misleading.
Either way the list is still rather shitty and random.
Yoboking G – Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:17pm PDT
umh….where is slipknot?
That’s about what this list amounts to. Also, gotta really dig all the comments by a “missylove1606″.
“NO MANSON! BLASHEPHY!!!” lol
I think it’s hilarious when non-”metallers” write reviews or make lists like this. I oftentimes get the vibe that they feel it is definitive, because by not being absorbed in the genre, they are being objective, when often times they are simply showing that they are ignorant to the subject matter. How much written was actually important, and how much was just stupid jokes that just don’t make sense to us “metallers”? Did this guy actually say that Dio was responsible for that “funny hand gesture”? He didn’t outright say it, but with Meshuggah, seems like he pretty much said Sweden wasn’t a very metal place to come from. He’s not stupid for his list or mishaps like that, just unaware. He is stupid, however, for not recognizing his ignorance, and creating this list without any other sort of input as far as I could tell. And the fucker said Mercyful Fate was only SLIGHTLY more entertaining then Venom? Blasphemy!
I shit my pants
The Robin Trower reference was quite amusing – bridge of sighs is an amazing song, Opeth recorded a cover of it last year for the special edition of watershed
Pantera was ahead of Mercyful Fate.
I stopped reading right there.
Mercyful Fate actually made it to the list, so I read through. It’s rare to even find MF or King Diamond in the “honorable mentions” section usually.
The third comment down from the end is some tool bag saying where is Slipknot.. Are you fucking kidding me??
Kyuss was the only sensible band on this list. The rest were pretty stock answers… or just plain dumb. Anything by King Diamond is completely unlistenable.
Kyuss is full of awesome. True story.
Not the worst list I’ve seen on this site.
Spinal Tap!?! WTF!
DUDE. He put ROBIN TROWER on this list. I’m fuckin shocked that someone on a site like Yahho! would even know he existed.
But anyways, FUCK YEAH ROBIN TROWER!!!!!
Who the fuck is Robin Trower ?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Trower
“Some people might choose Soundgarden and I might too, on a different day. But Alice In Chains were heavier and weirder, bluesier and more decadent.”
Regardless of which band is better, I think any sane person would agree that Soundgarden is weirder. Almost all of Alice in Chains’s songs were bluesy grunge, but Soundgarden threw crazy Middle-Eastern off-time signature stuff in there. Badmotorfinger even had a saxophone on one track.
Why the fuck cant I post a comment!
sorry but puting black Sabbath at the top of any list is a cliche now. they are a phenomenal band, but everyone says their the best metal band simply because they were the first
Edge of Sanity is never on a list anymore.