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Cinemetal

2009 GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS WRAP-UP

 Tuesday, August 11th, 2009 at 11:30am by

Sometime during Mayhem on Friday, Vince and I had the heartbreaking realization that we were missing the 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos. I mean, FUCK, man. I was interviewing those pussies from Slayer and The Black Dahlia Murder and JFAC when I could have been watching some real performances by real musicians? Not to mention the late-night comedy in the middle of the woods with Pauly Shore. And the HELICOPTER RIDES! Oh, the helicopter rides. I don’t think I’ll ever get over missing this one. I’m weeping as I type this.

Luckily, Stuff You Will Hate‘s Sergeant D – a.k.a. the only wigger that doesn’t make me wanna vomit all over myself – has found the below video wrap-up of this weekend’s activities. So at least I can live vicariously through these fine men and women:

Anton OyVey also discovered an entire page of photos chronicling the weekend-long celebration of the arts, created by the same people who filmed the above video. Check those out here.

-AR

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  • jackattack

    You can literally smell ICP fans from about a half mile away.

  • Holyshit!!!

    More power to em, they have a huge following….

    • jackattack

      So did Hitler. That doesn’t make it right.

      • dlux

        hahahahaha touche!

  • Ahab

    Nuke it from orbit.

    • Ahab

      Wow I clicked on Sergeant D’s link and it said the same thing.

  • dicknballs

    What the fuck people – they were all in one place at the same time. This was our chance to get rid of them all… on the plus side I’m sure Walmart had banner sales leading up to this event.

    The next time someone tells you to stay in school or work harder, just remember those pictures. That should be all the motivation you need.

  • Anthony

    I’ve met kids that are just as retarded at metal shows.

    • Ahab

      But have you ever been to a metal show where 100% of the people there are white trash retards.

      • Jimmy

        Black Label Society live shows come close.

      • DKJuggalotus

        yep sure have. in fact when i’ve gone to metal shows its usually a higher percent of white trash then at the gathering. Metal has few followers other than white. If you payed attention to the videos you would see that the majority of juggalos are white but they have a large following of other races

  • WetBiscut

    Because of my location, I go to most of my large concerts in Detroit. You’d be surprised the amount of retards like this that are floating around at concerts in DT.

    Two weeks ago at Mayhem they came out of the woodwork to see Marylin Manson, that was fun…

  • Brandon

    There are some decent looking girls there, but they’re lost in a sea of fat white trash.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carlos-Ramirez/631635101 Carlos Ramirez

      All I see are inbred fatties and disgusting quasi-goth girls.

    • Johnny

      You obviously have no standards

  • Ziltoid

    This gathering proves that natural selection is false. Otherwise, these beings wouldn’t exist.

    • Jimmy

      Have you seen idiocracy? The smart ones are reproducing smartly, trying to conceive and have a family.

      The stupid ones fuck like rabbits.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/agmkreptile FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

    “we’re just in a forest getting drunk having fun and people hate us for it.”

    No…we hate you because you’re white trash retards that support shitty,washed up rappers in clown makeup.

  • The Great Danton

    “I’m just trying to get home without catching fucking HIV again.”

    Wat

    • Ziltoid

      Apparently HIV is like a Pokemon, and he accidentally threw a Poke Ball instead of running away.

      You caught HIV! Would you like to give it a nickname? HIV was sent to Box 1 in Bill’s PC.

    • Jamie

      I’m glad someone else caught that.
      the quote I mean, not the HIV.

  • Pahkmycah

    Watched the video, and it is exactly what I expected.

    America is doomed if we are allowing this each and every year. America’s population of inbreeding white-trash hicks, high-school drop outs, obese, ugly, stupid, and all around failures are gathering each year to breed.

    Then again at least 1/4 of these people have now gathered HIV/AIDS from the gathering, this may be a step in the right direction.

    • chrissy

      The reason they are gathering is because of people like you. Passing judgment on people you don’t know because they are not like you, don’t look like you, are not as educated as you is prejudice. They are actually the most non-judgmental people I have ever met.

      To lump all of them together either because of their looks or because you had a bad experience with one of a few of them is discriminative. That would be like me saying that because you are ignorant and close minded, that everybody on this site is ignorant and close minded. But I know that cannot be true because I like to believe the best in people.

      On a side note, fans of ICP and similar bands on their label are not what should be considered “white-trash.” They are the most accepting, ANTI-RACIST, and friendly group of people I have ever meant. And considering that tickets to the Gathering cost an arm and a leg, obviously they are not THAT poor. It just means that they care more about having an experience that they will remember for a lifetime rather than spending money on material, conventional things like expensive clothing or even a nice hairstyle for that matter. Taking everything you see in the video literally as a representation of their thinking is ridiculously stupid. They do that just for people like you, to bother you. Because they know it will get you all stirred up. To assume that they do not practice safe sex based on a joke someone told is ridiculous.

      So next time you think about talking trash about people you don’t even know, passing judgments and discriminating, remember, there will be an intelligent, college educated, liberal minded, healthy, clean, STD free Juggalette there to set you straight. If you would like to discuss this further, just let me know.

      Peace and much clown love,
      Chrissy

      • chrissy

        *met.

  • Hot Carl

    Anyone else catch the pregnant broad smoking a cigarette in the video? That kid is fucked.

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      If his mom was in that video, he’s fucked anyway

    • dlux

      yeah, grandparents must be proud!

  • metal blows

    cream soda and soco delicious……is that a newport? want it? have it.

  • yokcoletta16

    First off, id like to say FUCK YOU to all the haters that dont know shit about what they are even saying. And so none of you dumb fucks get confused, that means fuck ALL you pussies. You say all the people there where “white-trash hicks, high-school drop outs, obese, ugly, stupid, and all around failures”. Yea well about that bullshit, I have my high school diploma, 6’0″ tall and only weight 165lbs., and am proudly leaving in february deploying to afghanistan to defend all you punk bitches. So someone please explain to me how im some stupid, fat, drop out hick, and am a failure for serving in the U.S Army?! MMFCL!!!!!!!!!

    • Johnny

      That doesn’t mean your not a dumb fuck.

    • Derp.

      What exactly are you going to defend us from?

      • Kill All

        1

    • CharlieB

      I respect you for serving but if you like to listen to ICP your an fuking twit.

    • Jamie

      Here’s where you went wrong:
      use of the term “haters”
      starting a sentence with “and”
      not capitalizing your I’s
      were not where
      improper comma placement
      weigh not weight
      uncapitalized Afghanistan.

      intelligent life doesn’t need to use the term “fuck” every other sentence.

      Just sayin’, dude.

  • ChaddSmith

    Ummmmm…did I really just see that? I…I….speechless.

    Fuck that shit.

  • tim

    I’ve been a fan of Psychopthic and ICP’s music my whole life (I’m 22) as well as metal, and underground hiphop. I could go on for days about all the “TRUE” metal music that I listen to, and the endless list of bands I’ve seen live, but I feel no need to prove myself to you ignorant fucks. I’m average height, weight, and just graduated college, and am starting a full-time position at a marketing firm. To even say that “this is the direction the world is heading, we’re all fucked” is absolutely riidiculous.

    Metal is not one of the most respected genres of music today. As metalheads we’ve all had to hear shit-talking towards the genre at one point or another, and we’ve had to defend it.

    To act this same way towards another form of underground music when you have no doubt experienced that treatment at some point in your life is just bullshit.

    • Jimmy

      Yeah, except ICP is shit and these people are fucking idiots.

    • dlux

      that fact that you graduated college and you consider yourself an ICP fan makes you one of the lucky ones.

      • Why so angry?

        >graduated college

        Oh maybe he is a smart guy

        >listens to ICP

        dohoho nevermind

        • tim

          and what music does make you smart then?

          i mean, besides the fact that I play classical piano and guitar?

          • dlux

            i don’t know if music can make you smart per se. but icp most certainly makes people dumber

          • Kill All

            Are you so smart that you have to balance yourself with such stupid (and hate myself for calling anything related to ICP) music?

            I can’t figure out if you’re taste in music is just really odd or if you hang out juggalos (and subsequently listen to their music) because they have so many awesome drugs?

            for me, it would fall to the latter

  • moose_knuckle

    It’d be so easy to end all of them, think about all those juggalos in one place. i think the world would benafit from a well placed nuke.

  • Jimmy

    This isn’t fair. You europeans get shit like Wacken and Download and we’re stuck with shit like this?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Pete-Simone/60802652 Pete Simone

    That shit is funny cause it’s no where near where I am. If the gathering was in my backyard, fuck it, but cause its in east butt-fuck Illinois, who cares. These people entertain me from a distance with their retardedness.

  • Jimmy

    Just noticed the pregnant bitch at the end was smoking. Her baby’s gonna be a juggallo alright, but it won’t know any better because it will be retarded.

  • dlux

    they should re-edit this video for an anti-drug/stay in school type commercial

  • Charlie B

    So what happened to the video. I use Firefox and don’t see a video.

    • Charlie B

      Never mind I used Explorer to view it.

      All I have to say is that the Air Force has introduced the huge 10 ton anti personnel GBU-43/B MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Burst Bomb). It is used to clear large areas of troop emplacements. I say this Jugglo festival would be a perfect use for one of these bombs. Unlike conventional bombs, it air burst over the target, wiping out anything on the ground, but it won’t leave a massive crater. This is great since the vegetation will grow back in short time. Since it is not nuclear there are no nasty long term affects. Then in a year or so we can hold a massive real kick ass metal festival on the grounds.

      • Kill All

        +10
        I’m a fan of this idea

  • http://ultimateposerblog.blogspot.com Ultimate Poser Blog

    I can’t believe that my fine state of Illinois has become a breeding ground for all of the wiggers in Detroit and the entire population of the state of Alabama.

  • LuciferSam

    Not a looker in the bunch…

  • Phantasm

    america should bomb this place instead of the middle east

  • Charlie B

    I just saw the photos of the “gathering” Holly Shit. I have never seen so many weirdos in one place. On top of that, there is not a decent chix among them. Eradication is the only solution.

  • Dustin @ Metalblade

    Never been so proud to be an American….I miss Sugar Slam

  • O’Connor

    First I would like to say that I agree with everyone who has mentioned a bombing at next year’s gathering. I looked through all the pictures and watched the video and there honestly wasn’t one chick I would let within 5 ft. of my dick.

    When I was in a band a couple years back we had a big show planned in New York. It was a benefit show and we were working with a small management company that was doing the majority of the promotion. We had the biggest following out of anyone on the company’s roster so we were headlinging the gig. We were sent myspace links or demos of the other bands playing or so we thought. When we get to New York we find out there are two juggalo “bands” opening for us (in addition to a rock and metal band). I use the term band loosely here because it was a bunch of wiggers with face paint who hit play on a cd player

    We were completely specchless and incredibly pissed off especially since we had done a ton of promotion for the show and it was for a good cause so we couldn’t leave. I had never met a juggalo before this but I feel like you have to have an IQ below 100 to be admitted to “The Family”.

    Long story short, one of the two groups cd started skipping after the first song so they couldn’t even do their shitty rap. Then later that night when we were all getting drunk at the hotel I front kicked the fat lead rapper of one of the groups through his hotel room closet. It was pretty awesome because he still had his face paint on and he went unconcious for a second.

  • Symbolic

    Now there’s a gene pool in desperate need of a lifeguard.

  • TommyLindbergsen

    To think …
    All of those people will most likely end up spawning miniature versions of themselves SOONER rather than later sends a chill down my spine.

    I need to buy myself an Island and fortify it with concrete walls and razor wire.

  • Old Skool Metal

    That shit was hilarious, unfortunately I have seen kids like this at metal shows too. Oh well to each his own.

  • Kill All

    Fuck that “mother”, she’s a fucked up person. In fact, any juggalo or person who supports shit like that should suffer blunt force trauma to the skull.

    Fuck them for fucking their unborn children who will never have a chance at a decent or normal life. Even though the chances are slim these kids won’t have birth defects, they still have to deal with their juggalo parents and “family” force-fucking them with controlled substances

    • chrissy

      I do not condone smoking while pregnant. I agree that it is wrong. But to wish death upon someone is only inviting them to wish the same for you, though I know a true Juggalo/Juggalette never would. They may sing about it, though.

      Hell, I do not condone wearing clothing with the remnants of cigarette [or other smoke-able substances] smoke when handling a child.

      I know a lot of kids here in town that have Juggalo parents and don’t mind it, though they are not Juggalos themselves. And personally, I would NEVER subject my daughter to anything ICP, though if she chooses to listen to them and only after she turns 18, [if they're even still around] I will not have a problem with it.

      I proudly quit smoking before I got pregnant with my daughter, and I know how difficult it is to quit. Especially with the addiction to nicotene calling out to you during the many stresses of what is more than likely an unplanned pregnancy for her. It takes extreme will-power and ANYBODY who has quit smoking can attest to that.

      A little post script to everyone else: Being a part of the Juggalo family doesn’t necessarily mean that the person in question is doing drugs. While I admit to trying drugs in the past, I have never let a single drug [including cigarettes; excluding caffeine] enter my body for well over a year now. I am proud to be a drug-free Juggalette.

      I just wish everybody would stop wasting their lives by passing judgment on people that are different, so I do not feel compelled to waste my life correcting them.

      Peace and much clown love,
      Chrissy

      • chrissy

        *nicotine

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Juggalo sex spawns horror movie monsters.

  • Lucifer

    Pray to God that you never meet an actual black man, and that you never use any word ending with “igger” in front of him, or you’ll lose what little brain cells you have left after choking down the cheap beer and pills you use to write your poorly written “blog”.