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Cinemetal

I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT BEING IN REMISSION, UNTIL MY OSBOURNES CAME BACK

 Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 at 2:40pm by

kelly_osbourne_and_luke_worrell

”The most beautiful words in the English language aren’t ‘I love you’ but ‘It’s benign.’ ”
-Deconstructing Harry

The Osbournes: Reloaded variety show got cancelled after like half an episode, Sharon literally can’t give away tickets to Ozzfest anymore, and the only times the singer makes headlines anymore are when he’s suing someone or getting a new guitarist. Why the fucking fuck would anyone want to get into the Ozzy business right now?

Ask MTV. According to Dan Rodriguez at Metal Insider, their famed reality show, The Osbournes, is coming back, “this time focusing mostly on Kelly and her bizarre, 19 year-old, Powder-esque shithead of a fiancee.”

Is there really an audience for this anymore? I can’t imagine many metalheads would still watch this show.

I also can’t imagine anyone gives a fuck about Kelly Osbourne. Everyone who ever made the mistake of thinking Kelly is cool made said mistake based on the original Osbournes show, but that was already like seven years ago, which means that everyone who ever made the mistake of thinking Kelly is cool is now either a) above the age of twelve or b) dead.

Still, the world we live in is just sucky enough that I could see this turning into a hit (again), because, y’know, fuck me.

-AR

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  • Alec29

    NO. Just no.

  • TommyLindbergsen

    Why the fuck is this news?

  • Rolling Thunder

    You know….if that picture was taken in the US….well lets just say that young mans’ beverage better not be alcoholic!

  • Burton C. Bell’s Forehead

    I can’t fucking stand her, I hope that this show bombs and no producer wants to put her in any programmes of any kind ever again. She’s managed to get onto a comedy show in the UK about 3 times, and every time she’s on she just sits there and does nothing, unless she’s asked about Ozzy. She’s oe of the most talentless pieces of crap about today.

  • cookie

    that thing is looking more and more like her dad

  • GuuGuu

    guys
    please don’t encourage them with coverage. it’s best ignored. let’s talk about Candlemass or something.

    • http://www.myspace.com/crocpodcast Noch

      I second that.Reality shows exist to make people talk their heads off.

      Go listen to the latest Candlemass record and forget these talentless Osbourne pricks.

  • T

    I really dug her remake of “Papa don’t preach”

  • http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8345/outside21.jpg Revrant

    “when he’s suing someone”

    Oh sorry, let me correct that for you Axl.

    “when he’s suing a douche”

    Yeah, there we go.

    Anyway, Kelly is why I had a hard time watching the show, she’s a fat ugly version of my own sister, and just as ungrateful.

    So no, thanks.

    • Elitist Fuck

      You think your own sister is hot?

  • Canvas Of Flesh

    Someone should hang that entire fucking family.

  • Kill All

    fuck this shit

  • Santa Claus

    Her face is the size of a fucking dinner table.

  • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

    Makes me glad I don’t have MTV.

  • The Goat

    Brings a new meaning to the phrase “Lipstick on a pig!”

  • 2kvlt4U

    At least they both have an eating disorder. Right, before she looked like Bill Ward, now she looks like Iggy Pop. Go Anorexia! But she will have to get a chest implants.

  • groverXIII

    I love watching MTV struggle to recover any sort of cultural relevance and fail miserably.