GARY SUAREZ IS FAMOUS!

Friday, August 21st, 2009 at 4:00pm by

gary suarezLookie at that; our little boy is all growed up. The fine lasses at Reign In Blonde tapped Señor Suarez for an interview about metal, writing, and writing about metal. It’s a pretty damn fine read if you ask us. To wit:

Which of your Ed Hardy t-shirts is your favorite?It’s ridiculous that people think they’re better than Ed Hardy shirts.  Especially metalheads, who have about as much fashion sense as a ham sandwich.  There was a post on the Stuff White People Like blog about how honkies love to rag on Ed Hardy, and it summed up all my feelings about this.  Christian Audiger deserves credit for being a successful entrepreneur, though his recent brand extensions into things like energy drinks are pretty fucking ridiculous.  He should stick with clothing.  For the record, I own one Ed Hardy shirt.  It doesn’t have rhinestones or anything gaudy like that, but it has a classic eagle tattoo which is pretty cool.  There’s a sister line called Smet, which I like a whole lot more.  You may have seen Smet stuff on Rock Of Love, because Audiger clearly donates clothes to the producers behind these VH1 shows.  Oh, and Affliction sucks.  So does MMA.  Boxing, however, is awesome.

Are you jizzing your pants over the new Behemoth album like everyone else?

No, because that’s absolutely not my thing.  I listen to loads of music, and when it comes to the heavy stuff I lean more towards noise rock, sludge/stoner metal, and post-hardcore.  I often feel like the odd man out at MetalSucks when I read the comments section, but Axl and Vince are really enthusiastic and supportive, which is great considering I’ve been peeing in their orange juice for months now. Those dudes seriously must love my pee because they drink a lot of O.J.

FUCK! That’s why the O.J. tasted funny this morning. Thanks for the love, Gary. No, really.

-VN

  • Shinaain

    I spooged my seat at the mere mention of the new Behemoth album.

    You don’t know what you’re missing, Gary. Just saying.

  • Balls666

    I’d be amazed if anyone who writes or reads this site knows who the fuck Ed Hardy is. “He just has cool shirts.” Fuckin dipshits

    • Heavy Metal

      of course everyone knows he is a tattoo artist.

      And MMA is way better then boxing.

  • John

    I’ve listened to the new behemoth record a few times, the only one I’m really crazy about is demigod really..

  • Sandy n Papo

    Gary seems to be a cool guy, I wonder where is he from, or his parents

  • groverXIII

    I don’t actually know who Ed Hardy is… and I don’t really care. I do, however, think the Ed Hardy shirts that I’ve seen are gaudy and hideous. I have no idea where they came from, or how they suddenly became popular.

    • Gecko

      Ed Hardy is an old school tattoo artist along the lines of Sailor Jerry. He sold the designs to some guy named Christian Somethingorother, who turned it into T-shirts, trucker hats, and a random array of unnessecary shit (body spray?). I don’t know why the stuff is so popular, but someone actually bought me the same shirt that Gary was describing, so that made me laugh a little bit. I guess they figured since I’m tattooed and pierced, I’d probably dig it. Thought that counts…

  • Ben

    Fucking douche. If you DON’T think you’re better than Ed Hardy shirts, you’re correct. This toolbox is hilarious in his defense of his poor fashion sense.

  • Balls666

    Ed Hardy is an influential old school tattoo artist who some pussy designer wanted to exploit and did so. That’s all. I think the shit is just more trendy bullshit now and once again, something crucial to the movement of individuality has become integral in dismissing, that’s right, individuality

  • http://www.myspace.com/breathofmetalproductions pokesmot

    lol Ed Hardy clothes are fashionable?

  • Eat your own shit

    I just found out the other day that having a beard has become a trend… what? So after 15 years I guess I’m finally cool enough to be here at MetalSucks with the rest of you weirdos! I’ve joined the elitist internet shit-talking pussy social sphere… awesome! Now I have an excuse!!!!

    Eat shit and die, it’s time to get drunk… fuck Ed Hardy’s wooden leg with a flamethrower.

  • Malacoda

    Though I love Gary’s posts, I hate Ed Hardy and love the new Behemoth.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Ryan/596440962 Jake Ryan

    fuck ed hardy. they started making vodka too. wtf. what kind of tools do you think u’d find at a party where everyones drinking ed hardy vodka?

    plus, the art on their shirts is a sad excuse for tattoo art. its like they dont care anymore. its hardly detailed, and is never of cool shit. plus that John fucker from ‘john and kate plus eight’ wears that shit. count me out.

  • http://www.solidsterecords.com NoCowNoFood

    So what? U dudes expending money on crap like these send some of those Bucks to FUCIKING DOMINICAN REPUBLIC WE NEED THEM. PEACE