THE DECIBLOG OUT-SUCKS METALSUCKS

Monday, August 24th, 2009 at 11:00am by

DropDeadGorgeous5

We’ve worked pretty hard to achieve our title of the “Most Negative Site in Metal.” And we’re proud of that title. We’ve earned it, damn it.

So we’re jealous that those fuckers at The Deciblog, and not us, thought of this brilliant idea:

THE DECIBLOG SCREAMO COVER ELIMINATION BRACKET.

Luckily, they invited us to participate.

Here’s the description of how it’s gonna work:

We sent 15 members of the Decibel extended family 15 different head-to-head match-ups with the following instructions: write a couple hundred words and pick a “winner” based on whatever criteria you choose. Defending the indefensible is actually a lot harder than it looks: J. Bennett tried to puss out by declaring “everyone loses” before we put his balls in a vice and made him choose. In honor of Fred Durst, who pioneered the art of taking two horrible things and transforming them into something even more ghastly, we present the first (and hopefully) final edition of the Dursties. Every day for the next eight days, we will be presenting the match-ups, whittling down the Sweet 16 until there’s only one “winner” left, all to find — to paraphrase Jonah Hill — the ultimate anti-poon.

I don’t wanna spoil for you what match-up I got stuck with, nor which “winner” I chose. I will say that I totally understand where J. Bennett was coming from.

Keep checking The Deciblog for all the results, including an entry from yours truly!

-AR

  • Penis

    FIRST LOL

    • I’m not racist, but i hate Oceano

      For the love of Jesus, please don’t turn this into Lambgoat.

      • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

        Who the fuck loves Jesus ? I thought we praised SATAN around here…

        • oblivion

          or even thor for fuck sakes , whats this jesus shit?

  • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

    I’ll second that…

  • Name Not Applicable

    Wait, is this judged on whichever song is better or worse?

  • Name Not Applicable

    Oh, and which ADTR cover are you guys using, the Kelly Clarkson cover or the Fray cover?

  • goolash

    I cant stop laughin a the pic of dude in the elmo shirt. Hahaha fantastic

  • josecarnage

    ADTR is a good band

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      please hand in your testicles and any slayer albums you might happen to own. you are officially banned from metal.

    • http://www.myspace.com/ihopeyourot Dave

      ….oh wow

    • dlux

      i like them too. you can have my slayer album(s). they’re all the same anyways. haha

    • groverXIII

      My friend’s emo niece likes ADTR, which means that they probably suck. I’ve never actually heard them, fortunately.

      • Lauren

        i really hated them when i first heard them, but now i really like them. the new album isnt great but the first one is descent

  • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

    The only song that is remotely passable is the Devil Wears Prada “Gator Boots” cover. And honestly…if I didn’t know those guys to the point where two of them baby sit my nieces and nephews…I’d probably declare that a glaring loser as well. Good luck with this guys…its gonna be a challenge.

  • The Goat

    I think a better contest would be something like this (to paraphrase George Carlin): Put both bands in 100×100 ft. cage made of electrical wire and have them fight to the death. Give them nothing but whiskey and PCP and just have them beat the shit out of each other. And the last person alive put him up on a Pedestal and shoot him in the fucking head!

    It would probably be best to pair the christian bands up against eachother first.

  • PD

    In the case of the Number 12 Looks Like You, I can actually see progression in their sound. As much as people probably hate them, I actually really like their cover of “My Sharona.” Oh well.

    • http://www.myspace.com/1033metal Jackson

      ya, im not a huge fan either but that entire EP that the My Sharona cover was on was pretty good

  • anathema

    half the bands on the list arent even screamo, e/g/ set your goals is a fucking pop-punk band.

    • oblivion

      harcore maybe?

  • Matt

    Where the fuck does Number 12 fit into this?!
    They better lose immediately because 12 is amazing, and not even close to screamo-bullshit

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dru-Morrison/1641060092 Dru Morrison

    Ya, I just listened to Grandfather by these Number 12 guys (terrible name though) ans their music is pretty well done, precise and progressive and all that good shit. However, that vocalist needs to do something with his voice. He has great attack and accuracy, he can keep up with everyone else technically, it’s just his voice. I can see why people would call these dudes screamo simply for that reason.

    • Matt

      Their name was from an episode title of The Twilight Zone, also on that song they had 2 vocalists, but now they don’t.

  • Tom

    HOLY SHIT…MY FRIEND’S BAND IS ON THAT LIST HAHAH

    • groverXIII

      Sounds like you need to kick your friend in the nuts for being in a shitty band, then.

      • Double D

        HAHA! Nice one, Grover!

        • Elitist Fuck

          Yeah, maybe, if Grover were a huge pussy. Nowhere close to a good insult.

          • groverXIII

            Haha… wtf. That wasn’t an insult, it was a suggestion.

      • Tom

        lol no i wouldnt do that….he likes good music too.
        he’s not even in the band anymore, he left because he was going to college and couldnt tour… its not like theyre the worst band on the list either…its Surrender the Dance Floor

  • http://metalinquisition.blogspot.com Sergeant D

    This is a fantastic idea and I was thrilled to be part of it. I can’t wait to see the results!!

  • the benthic

    seriously thrice is way too good for this list.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-He/749730660 Richard He

      Agreed, they’re legitimately the only good band there.

  • GetToTheChoppa

    A Day To Remember aren’t that bad, Listen to “Why Walk On Water When We’ve Got Boats” and prove me wrong.

    …but their pop song covers do suck.

  • http://www.myspace.com/2009/jgjkckcjvyj bahahaha!! troll

    lets seee….

    1

    2

    3

    4

    and maybe 5 bands…

    chess thatnk you!!! :D
    i copied and pasted, thanks for the bands, im look em up, i already like 4/5 of them so why not try the others out right? :33

    muchos gratcias!!!