THE DECIBLOG OUT-SUCKS METALSUCKS
Monday, August 24th, 2009 at 11:00am by Axl Rosenberg
We’ve worked pretty hard to achieve our title of the “Most Negative Site in Metal.” And we’re proud of that title. We’ve earned it, damn it.
So we’re jealous that those fuckers at The Deciblog, and not us, thought of this brilliant idea:
THE DECIBLOG SCREAMO COVER ELIMINATION BRACKET.
Luckily, they invited us to participate.
Here’s the description of how it’s gonna work:
We sent 15 members of the Decibel extended family 15 different head-to-head match-ups with the following instructions: write a couple hundred words and pick a “winner” based on whatever criteria you choose. Defending the indefensible is actually a lot harder than it looks: J. Bennett tried to puss out by declaring “everyone loses” before we put his balls in a vice and made him choose. In honor of Fred Durst, who pioneered the art of taking two horrible things and transforming them into something even more ghastly, we present the first (and hopefully) final edition of the Dursties. Every day for the next eight days, we will be presenting the match-ups, whittling down the Sweet 16 until there’s only one “winner” left, all to find — to paraphrase Jonah Hill — the ultimate anti-poon.
I don’t wanna spoil for you what match-up I got stuck with, nor which “winner” I chose. I will say that I totally understand where J. Bennett was coming from.
Keep checking The Deciblog for all the results, including an entry from yours truly!
-AR
FIRST LOL
For the love of Jesus, please don’t turn this into Lambgoat.
Who the fuck loves Jesus ? I thought we praised SATAN around here…
or even thor for fuck sakes , whats this jesus shit?
Jesus is pretty fucking metal if you think about it, considering his second coming came to fruition through Mikael Akerfeldt.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/08/04/
I’ll second that…
Wait, is this judged on whichever song is better or worse?
Oh, and which ADTR cover are you guys using, the Kelly Clarkson cover or the Fray cover?
I cant stop laughin a the pic of dude in the elmo shirt. Hahaha fantastic
ADTR is a good band
please hand in your testicles and any slayer albums you might happen to own. you are officially banned from metal.
….oh wow
i like them too. you can have my slayer album(s). they’re all the same anyways. haha
My friend’s emo niece likes ADTR, which means that they probably suck. I’ve never actually heard them, fortunately.
i really hated them when i first heard them, but now i really like them. the new album isnt great but the first one is descent
The only song that is remotely passable is the Devil Wears Prada “Gator Boots” cover. And honestly…if I didn’t know those guys to the point where two of them baby sit my nieces and nephews…I’d probably declare that a glaring loser as well. Good luck with this guys…its gonna be a challenge.
I think a better contest would be something like this (to paraphrase George Carlin): Put both bands in 100×100 ft. cage made of electrical wire and have them fight to the death. Give them nothing but whiskey and PCP and just have them beat the shit out of each other. And the last person alive put him up on a Pedestal and shoot him in the fucking head!
It would probably be best to pair the christian bands up against eachother first.
In the case of the Number 12 Looks Like You, I can actually see progression in their sound. As much as people probably hate them, I actually really like their cover of “My Sharona.” Oh well.
ya, im not a huge fan either but that entire EP that the My Sharona cover was on was pretty good
half the bands on the list arent even screamo, e/g/ set your goals is a fucking pop-punk band.
harcore maybe?
Where the fuck does Number 12 fit into this?!
They better lose immediately because 12 is amazing, and not even close to screamo-bullshit
Ya, I just listened to Grandfather by these Number 12 guys (terrible name though) ans their music is pretty well done, precise and progressive and all that good shit. However, that vocalist needs to do something with his voice. He has great attack and accuracy, he can keep up with everyone else technically, it’s just his voice. I can see why people would call these dudes screamo simply for that reason.
Their name was from an episode title of The Twilight Zone, also on that song they had 2 vocalists, but now they don’t.
HOLY SHIT…MY FRIEND’S BAND IS ON THAT LIST HAHAH
Sounds like you need to kick your friend in the nuts for being in a shitty band, then.
HAHA! Nice one, Grover!
Yeah, maybe, if Grover were a huge pussy. Nowhere close to a good insult.
Haha… wtf. That wasn’t an insult, it was a suggestion.
lol no i wouldnt do that….he likes good music too.
he’s not even in the band anymore, he left because he was going to college and couldnt tour… its not like theyre the worst band on the list either…its Surrender the Dance Floor
This is a fantastic idea and I was thrilled to be part of it. I can’t wait to see the results!!
seriously thrice is way too good for this list.
Agreed, they’re legitimately the only good band there.
A Day To Remember aren’t that bad, Listen to “Why Walk On Water When We’ve Got Boats” and prove me wrong.
…but their pop song covers do suck.