SEVEWORD HAS GRIEVANCES TO AIR
Thursday, August 27th, 2009 at 1:30pm by Axl RosenbergAn e-mail I received from long time reader Seveword earlier today:
And air them I shall. I’ve thought this over, and after careful consideration I’ve
decided that the only way for me to go about this is by annoying the hell out of
you, and potentially ruining any chance I have at getting this read. So. Okay.….
….
….
FUCK YOU. JESUS CHRIST. DO YOU FUCKERS EVEN LISTEN TO METAL? I’M SERIOUS. WHAT DO I
SEE WHEN I GO TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING SITE? SOME SHITTY FUCKING ATREYU VIDEO? REALLY?
DO YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH THAT YOU’D DO THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE? AND THEN I SCROLL
DOWN AND WHAT THE FUCK DO I SEE? IWRESTLEDABEARONCE? I SAY THIS WITH AS MUCH
SELF-RIGHTEOUS FURY THAT CAPS-LOCK ALLOWS ME TO MUSTER WHEN I SAYFUCK
YOU
I’VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU NO LONGER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOOD MUSIC SOUNDS
LIKE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOU UPDATE EVERY DAY? LIKE 8 OR 9 RIGHT? THIS SITE HAS
BEEN AROUND FOR WHAT, TWO, THREE YEARS? YOU KNOW HOW MANY POSTS THAT MAKES? A WHOLE
FUCKING LOT, THAT’S HOW MANY. SO I, LITTLE OLD ME, FIGURE THAT I’LL TYPE IN SOME
GOOD BANDS INTO THAT LITTLE SEARCH BOX ON THE SIDE AND SEE HOW MANY THINGS COME UP.
SHOULD BE A LOT RIGHT? I MEAN YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT GOOD METAL IS RIGHT?WELL FUCK MY SHIT
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? I TYPED IN “rotting christ” AND GOT 4 FUCKING RESULTS. JESUS
TAPDANCING TITTYFUCKING POGOSTICKING CHRIST ON A GRIZZLY BEAR. THEY’VE BEEN AROUND
FOR LONGER THAN YOU’VE HAD HAIR ON YOUR BALLS AND YOU TAKE TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO
TALK ABOUT ATREYU?FUCK
YOU
I THOUGHT IT WASN’T THAT BAD. YOU KNOW, THEY AREN’T VERY WELL KNOWN, MAYBE I’LL TRY
A DIFFERENT BAND. I FIGURE, “HEY, MAYBE THERE’S A LOT OF STUFF ABOUT THIS BAND” AND
I PUT IN “dark tranquillity” AND YOU DECIDED TO JUST FUCK UP THE REST OF MY DAY.
ELEVEN? FUCKING ELEVEN? THEIR FUCKING KEYBOARD PLAYER JUST TOOK A SHIT WITH A BETTER
HOOK THAN ANYTHING IN FLAMES HAVE EVER WRITTEN AND THERE’S 11 FUCKING POSTS ABOUT
THEM? HALF OF THEM DON’T EVEN FUCKING COUNT, THEY’RE JUST ABOUT AT THE GATES AND
FFFFFFFFFFFFUCKING IN FLAMES!FUCK
YOU
SWING AND A MISS. ALRIGHT. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. BUT THEN I MADE A MISTAKE. I HAD TO
GO AHEAD AND SEARCH FOR “bloodbath” LIKE SOMEONE WHO GETS OFF BY HAVING A FAT GUY IN
A GIMP SUIT HIT HIM IN THE DICK WITH A TOASTER. COME THE FUCK ON. DO YOU KNOW WHAT
EVIL IS? DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT EVIL SOUNDS LIKE? PUT THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znQ7NK8YIF4 INTO YOUR FJUCKING JINTERNET SJEARCH BJAR
AND FUCKING LISTEN TO IT. YOU HEAR THAT FUCKING GRUNT? YOU HEAR IT? YOU HEAR THAT
GUY GRUNTING INTO YOUR FACE LIKE A FUCKING SERIAL RAPIST? THAT’S FUCKING METAL. WHEN
THIS FUCKER ISN’T BUSY DOING HIS LITTLE “lol i’m a fairy” THING IN THAT FUCKING
OPETH BAND, HE GOES AROUND FUCKING PEOPLE UP LIKE A GODDAMN SERIAL KILLER, FUCKING
SHIT UP. YOU KNOW WHY?BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY.
DID METAL EXIST BEFORE IWRESTLEDABEARONCE? I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO, LOOKING AT THIS
SITE. TWO FUCKING PAGES OF SEARCH RESULTS COVERED IN JIZZ DEVOTED TO THESE LOSERS.
IJIGEJGRKRIGJPAEJHBGPT’BJ’TEJRIHJ FUCKING HELL. GET YOUR THUMBS OUT OF MOUTHS, YOUR
HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES, AND STOP BEING SUCH WHINY LITTLE BITCHES. WHEN’S THE LAST
TIME YOU LISTENED TO SOME AMON AMARTH. GODDAMN.….
I love the site. Keep it up! :)
-AR
hahahaha :D good to see someone using their time constructively :D
Dude i wanna chill with this guy
fucking awesome
get pissed!
Destroyyyy!!!
hahahahaha well played.
fucking amazing
I like that now if you search “iwrestledabearonce” this post comes up.
Oh and ditto on the above posts… this was fucking gold. Hats off to you, seveword.
Dark Tranquility is awful, thanks for not covering them.
If by horrible you mean they raped your mom…and dad, little brother and dog
Why the fuck didn’t seveword enter this in the MS Takeover contest? That would’ve kicked Ziltoid’s ass, and maybe even mine too!
I put something that was to the effect of “fuck you”, but this was something I just threw together last night (this morning, actually) on a whim. I’m glad Ziltoid won, just so everybody can shit on his parade.
good email, would read again
FJUCKING JINTERNET SJEARCH BJAR
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who caught that. I laughed when I read “JINTERNETS.” I guess thats the Jewish internet.
Bloodbath on Metalsucks…never though I’d see the day. Way to get shit done Seveword.
hmm, didn’t The Fathomless Mastery show up on some Years Best list?
amazing… truly amazing… thumbs up for Seveword…
ONE MORE THING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. IF I -EVER-, AND I MEAN -EVER- HEAR YOU SAY “SUMERIANCORE” ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I’M GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN AND LOCK YOU IN A CLOSET WITH TWO PISSED OFF SPIDER MONKEYS AND PUT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING ON YOUTUBE.
THEN, I’M GONNA START A SHITTY METAL BLOG WHERE ALL I DO EVERY FUCKING DAY IS TALK ABOUT ATREYU AND THOSE OTHER FUCKERS (I’D RATHER TAKE THE TIME TO TYPE THIS OUT THAN TYPE THEIR RETARDED FUCKING NAME) AND WITH EVERY FUCKING JUVENILE, UNFUNNY POST I MAKE I’M GONNA LINK TO THAT VIDEO OF YOU GETTING FUCKED UP BY THOSE SPIDER MONKEYS. LAKS;FDJGOIWRENGEWORNHSLKHGWOG MORBID FUCKING ANGEL AARRRRRHGHGHGHHGHG
Ruined it.
Sumeriancore.
I’ve tried, but I can’t properly find a way to express my hatred and loathing in print. Every time I try and type something, I just end up punching my keyboard and swearing.
Well played, sir.
I love Bloodbath uncontrollably, and I was rooting for you sir…
Until you talked shit about Opeth.
From me & the almighty Akerfeldt: Fuck you.
I read seveword’s email and imagined it in Lewis Black’s voice in my head, and it made me smile. Then I reread it with Morgan Freeman’s voice instead, and it was even better.
And this post shouldn’t have wound up here. Odd.
I only talk shit because I love ‘em. You can’t deny that you did a double take the first time you heard Mikey burst into song in the middle of a death metal holocaust.
I bet somebody’s excited for Ziltoid!!
your comment ruined the whole thing
ruined
“tapdancing tittyfucking pogosticking christ on a grizzley bear”
the greatest line ever. i can now die in peace
If I ever change my user name on here, that’s what I’m going to use.
great moments in DeEvolution
Seems to me that someone forget his medication…
I usually just skip over the posts i’m not interested in, but what do i know?
im pretty sure this site takes payoffs from bands to cover them. The coverage may be subtle and not always praise but the bands/labels paying MS are getting the word out just the same. no one can like IWABLOW or emmanure but MS covers them.. I keep noticing the same handful of bands getting covered that nobody seems to like getting post space where MS doesnt necessarily praise or trash them, jsut keep throwing the name out there.
either way, it gets everyone arguing and MS is getting paid. I hate you all
Uh, really? Everytime Atreyu or Emmure comes up, I’m pretty sure the word “suck” or “hate” is in the post at least twice. As to your point that no one can like IWABO.l..I do. And I listen to most of the bands that Seveword and Ziltoid bemoan not being covered on the site (despite the fact that a lot of hem are). Sure, Axl and Vince cover IWABO, etc. a lot, but that might be because, oh I dunno, they happen to really like them. Plus I think they just really like pissing everybody off. Not my cup of tea, but to each his own.
then why put effort into giving those bands coverage? i mean im all for talking some shit about what a shitty band that garners more hate than love here and there, but when 75% of the post seem to be that way, i dont see the point.
look, i like this site but in the year or so i’ve been visiting it, its gone downhill. i dont thinks its fully the fault of they guys running it — they are just catering to what their audience has become more interested in i guess. and of course, if they can make a living doing it, more power to them.
my point is, i would like to see more news, videos, and sweet content about bands that are good, whether i’ve heard of em or not. But then again the site is called metalSUCKS so i guess thats what i should expect.
i’ll still be here everyday.
“LIKE SOMEONE WHO GETS OFF BY HAVING A FAT GUY IN
A GIMP SUIT HIT HIM IN THE DICK WITH A TOASTER.”
Just made my day.
Seveward . . . Do yourself a favor, become a veteranarian, join your local volunteer fire department, visit a prostitute, do something constructive because you have way too much time on your hands.
THE CHEESE ON MY SANDWICH IS NOT MELTED ENOUGH! METALSUCKS WILL FEEL MY FULL WRATH TODAY!
XBOX LIVE IS DOWN? I MUST TAKE THIS OUT ON METAL SUCKS!
RRRRRRRRRRRRAGH!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???? SOMEBODY HAS AN OPINION WHICH DIFFERS FROM MY OWN??!????!??! MY IMPOTENT RAGE WILL CHANGE THEIR MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol, I like you, your funny!
Wow. I have a friend who works in a vet clinic, is a volunteer fire fighter, and his girlfriend is a really expensive prostitute. Only bad thing is, his favorite band is Nickleback.
This is the best post I’ve ever read on this site. Get this man the Nobel Prize.
“YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY.”
That is amazing. Something Alec Baldwin would say in Glengarry Glen Ross. Or The Departed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhQyEV4ltn4&feature=related
is that guy playing the guitar left handed and with the strings inverted?
dan swano
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Good job.
Bloodbath kills you all BTW…
And I just noticed that you fuckers don’t even put Rotting Christ in the related tags field. Wow.
Best. Post. Ever.
JESUSTAPDANCINGTITTYFUCKINGPOGOSTICKINGCHRISTONAGRIZZLYBEAR.
~iwrestledabearonce’s side project^
you know im all agreeing, and then dark tranquility comes up, i really dont see a hell of a lot of difference between them and IF, its all generic gotenburg
“I love the site. keep it up! :)”
I Whole Heartedly Agree with this person, not s twiceo much the bands, where is the illdisposed news? Fuckin Devourment put out a new album,????? good or boring its still the biggest shit to devourment fans or the subject MetalSucksButShittyStupidNotReallyMetalBandsPawnOrWhatEverIsCleverToType.net hates is brutal death metal fans. And if Zach Wylde Dies And This Site Changes its tone on the man i will personally accept the plane ticket you buy me to humiliate you in front of your moms house! Fleshless, Debauchery put out a dumb cd still better than shit you eat and poop to us kids! P.S. Fuck You Fags, God Forbid Eats Shit, Daath Futilty Is The best CD I ever Stumbled Across, And Cant Wait For 9 Out 10 Stories about Shit That Doesnt Make sense for a metal blog site to post, could say more but i dont get paid to, ta ta for now?
P.S.S. i got all of your unreadable band logos every week in my pocket, actually won twice, still have yet to spin either disc, but i dont wanna decipher a brutal death metal logo to get a buckcherry cd or some new york dolls shit, the coal chamber cd, give us fuckin break…..also if said band is still active (unreadable) why not say something about them, a plug or what ever, Well I Guess Thy Never Wrestled A Bear so who gives a fuck!
Broken Hope Said IT Best (With There Fuckin Name)
Seveword, did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish that I could beee. And I feel comfortable telling you that Bette Midler-style.
I’m shocked.. metal on this site? :x
W I N.
Hillarious post UNTIL i read the part about talking shit about dark tranquiliy and in flames
so FUCK YOU DOUCHE SUCKING FUCK, other than that bravo