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Haterade

SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 8)

 Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 at 1:00pm by

If you make it past the nineteen second mark of this video, then you will have made it further than I did.

No thanks whatsoever to Joe Simpson for bringing these fucks to our attention.

-AR

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  • Selneder

    hahahahaha I’ve known about this band for forever.

    • Uglymicrowave

      Honestly i’m just glad he didn’t start singing….

  • Slender

    It fucked up my name…

    • Hey Fuck Yeah Belie my Burial are the Shit!

      Fail…

  • groverXIII

    I made it through the whole thing, just because of the sheer comedy of it all. From the fact that they actually take a song that’s one big breakdown and manage to throw in a slower breakdown from the breakdown in the middle of it, to the synchronized guitar-wave, to the fact that the lead singer spends most of the song inexplicably hopping on either of his feet (occasionally joined by other members of the band), to the fact that most of them are wearing those ridiculous v-neck t-shirts, this is hilariously bad.

    • http://myspace.com/grobiwunder grobi wunder

      i always thought standing on one foot awkwardly jumping was pretty metal…

      • \m/Eluveitie\m/

        Only if your other foot is mutilated or missing

        • http://myspace.com/grobiwunder grobi wunder

          mutilated and/or dead/dismembered/disfigured/regurgitated/infected/blasphemous/necrotic/… i’m out of metal-adjectives.
          also i can’t be funny while listening to Weakling… :(

    • http://dgmetal.org The Daily Grind

      Those insane drum fills…

    • Tim

      C’mon, a breakdown during a breakdown that’s already a breakdown of a breakdown takes some kind of skill, right?

      • groverXIII

        Not if you work in the Department Of Redundancy Department… or the Redundancy Department Of Redundancy.

      • Elitist Fuck

        Not saying much since at least one of the guys is a Bury Your Dead Fan.

  • BlakMetallistKrieg

    heh, sounds like some breakdown band trying to be an “epic metal” band or something.

  • WetBiscut

    Those Gauged ears look ridiculous. The song doesn’t help.

    • groverXIII

      I thought they were ping pong balls for a while. I was a bit confused.

    • wata

      I thought those were headphones on the singer.

      • Grymmbear

        You mean, those AREN’T pats of butter?

    • cougar party

      I thought he stuffed cotton balls in his ears so he couldn’t hear the awful music happening around him.

    • jason

      I’ve always wondered what is going to happen when these kids get into their 30′s and have to explain to their kids why their earlobes look like some haggard pornstar’s busted-out naughty bits.

      • groverXIII

        And just like the porn star’s naughty bits, the dudes with the plugs can have someone put a penis in them…

      • Hey Fuck My Gauged Ears are the Shit!

        I am in my 30s and no one gives a fuck but people like you worrying what people like me tell my kids…

    • Hey Fuck My Gauged Ears are the Shit!

      Your all asses…

      • chadcrawford

        “Your” is the possessive form of “you.” You meant “you’re” which is a contraction of “you” and “are.” Also, gauged ears look ridiculous, especially if you’re in your 30s.

        • wyrdling

          zing.

        • Hey Fuck Yeah (insert noun) is the Shit!

          oh shit son you burned me. guess what bitches I’m a published writer and I DON’T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT GRAMMER ON THESE INTERWEBS. So dang their you go.

  • http://www.myspace.com/ihopeyourot DemiGod

    What, did the punching the ground turn you off?

    It’s pretty fucking boring, yeah.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

    Damn, I was listening to heaven & hell just before i checked that video. That shit’s beyond bad !

  • Sammy

    Axl, the first 19 seconds don’t yell shitstain to me. The remaining 2:40, however, do. I watched long enough to figure out what the hell was going on with the singer’s ears.

  • DEATHCORERULES

    THIS BAND WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • JoseCarnage

      agreed this band was brutal!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Dasher/30826541 Matt Dasher

        sage

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Travis-Coy/550494220 Travis Coy

      You’re a terrible blight on music and you should choke on glass shards you waste of flesh. I hope someone hits you with a car and your organs are donated to feed pigs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Nugent/1318164024 Daniel Nugent

    they managed to rip off like 5 rings befor he even started to sing

  • politude

    I think at the 15 second mark, when the lead singer goes and does the hardcore dance punch, all he is doing in bludgeoning ANY credibility that this band has/had. On that note, gauges are cool if done right, you know keeping them relatively small so the love can retract, that guy DEFINITELY did NOT get the memo.

  • Tommy Lindbergsen

    I got through about 47 seconds, I must be a glutton for punishment.
    When are labels going to stop signing this shit?
    It all sounds exaclty alike…are people really into bands like this?

    It must be the kids……stupid fucking kids these days.

  • Jizzmaster3000

    Kids these days…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Dasher/30826541 Matt Dasher

    OMGZ! TEH BAND MAKES A SONG TAHT IZ 1 BIGG BREAKDOWN???? TIHS IZ TEH BR00TALZ!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://bsisserson@gmail.com nairbs

      iztr00

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Farhaad-Esfandiary/501309890 Farhaad Esfandiary

    So how many of you guys paused the good music you were listening to listen to this shit? I, unfortunately, decided to listen/watch.

    • lol

      true words

    • groverXIII

      Yeah, me too. The humor value doesn’t really offset that, unfortunately.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brent-Hacker/1173810278 Brent Hacker

      aww your right… i was in the middle of new TBDM too

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Farhaad-Esfandiary/501309890 Farhaad Esfandiary

    Grammatical error, fuck fixing it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/ovidswithering ayejayzink

    Never in my life, have I come across anything so incredible. GADDDDDDDDD DAYUMMMM AMAZIN

  • lkgf09

    breakdownz is teh awesome. BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTAL

  • John

    I’m pretty sure I’ve played with this band whilest on tour in the past.. then again I guess I’ve played with this exact band 100000 times and each time they have different members. I actually have gauges that are bigger than his.. but I also have long hair and a real job.

    • Johnny Death

      Those are gauges? I thought they were livestock ear tags.

      • Hey Fuck Yeah My Gauged Ears are the Shit!

        Oh my god i am loling. Dick

  • dick johnson

    that vocalist needs get rid of those gauges and put his attack attack! uniform back on like the rest of his bandmates

  • human # 1746295

    i havent heard that shitty of a drummer in a loooooong time

    • Grymmbear

      He sounds like Jordan Mancino… only without talent.

  • ZOMG

    They have a new vocalist, this video is old as fuck, i dig this band!

  • TurdFerguson

    Not all that bad really. i’d go check them out on $1 draft night at a local club.

  • RobotScythe

    Dudes with emo hair really shouldn’t try to headbang..they just look like they’re spastic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Acerra/508945856 Michael Acerra

    this totally isn’t bad enough to qualify as shitstain on the ass of the universe. There are definitely even lamer bands with homemade youtube videos you guys could’ve found.

  • cosk!

    I made it to a one minute just to see if they did anything besides a breakdown….. and no.

    just no.

  • cbeezy

    Pretty sure these guys are ahead of their time. After watching the video, I realized they are at the forefront of the Jigger Slam movement w/ those amazing dance moves.

  • Sandwiches

    Every riff excluding the hammer on/pull off and the tremelo picked part were breakdowns. Maybe that’s cool. If you have an extra 21st chromosome or something

  • Gecko

    I can’t even call this good or bad. It was just boring. Like seriously, boring. Also, it took me forever to realize those were guages/plugs. I thought he had eggs stuffed in his earlobes are something. Chicks with little cute plugs = hot. Dudes with eggs in their ears doing stupid punch dancing = special olympics contestants.

  • Natsquatch

    I interrupted Black Sabbath to watch the whole thing…ouch. Has anyone else gone to the actual youtube page for the video? The comments are amazing.

    • Io

      cman299:
      this is how a song should be;
      a non-stop epic fucking breakdown

      discoXcubes :
      this song has almost no breakdowns

      It’s amazing how wrong they both are.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

    I know it’s not PC to say this, but synchronized headbanging is gay…

    • Sammy

      Corey, I am pretty sure all of the gay friends I’ve had over the years – and I once worked in the hotel industry in San Diego, so that number is pretty high – would be offended at your use of the word “gay” here. No, not because of its use as a pejorative slur, but because none of them would ever be caught dead looking so ridiculous.

    • groverXIII

      That’s an insult to gay.

  • SP420

    Someone take a .22 and aim for the clay pigeons in the singer’s earlobes but then accidentally shoot him in the face.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brent-Hacker/1173810278 Brent Hacker

    1: I like how the singer really hates the ground… hes constantly punching and kicking it..

    2: The drummer really loves his off beat snare hits… a little too much perhaps?

  • metalguy

    super squats too. sheesh

  • http://www.myspace.com/beneaththesoil1 derka derka burger

    don’t like the band’s name at all, but really i didn’t think it was shitstain worthy. no they weren’t doing anything innovative, or being creative with the sound, but there wasn’t anything blatantly bad, comical, or ridiculous about this video.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Francis/682620709 Andrew Francis

    thats not as bad as i was expecting , ya its a giant break down with no skill but , FUCK IT S GOOD!

  • Me

    the whole song is a stretched out version on an As I Lay Dying breakdown. hilarious.

  • fightingmike

    This is not nearly as bad as Atilla, Attack Attack, or those other shitty bands that we love to hate on here. Sure it is generic, but at least these kids are trying to be heavy and not trying to be gansta, emo, or crabcore. There is no clean singing either, thank goodness. These guys arent that different from Emmure of some of these other boring chugger bands. There is alot worse shit to talk about out there.

    • dlux

      speaking of our favorite little darlings A!A!, couldn’t help but notice that video where the dude gets douched in the face by something got taken down due to a “copyright” claim by rise records. weird that all the audio only fan posted things don’t get taken down. maybe the dude really did cry about it.

  • cashbasket

    Aside from the fact that their living room is awesome, that video was crippling. I think it gave me two huge tumors in my pelvic area.

    Not quite sure why this music keeps happening..

  • Death Metal Aaron

    That was not a song. That was a breakdown. Maybe they have several songs that make up one gargantuan shitty song that has somewhat of a….structure.

  • Canvas Of Flesh

    This band sucks almost as much as Killswitch Engage.

  • Spwee

    while it is boring, crappy song structure and unoriginal, at least they sound like they can pull it off. Unlike that Attack! Attack! crabcore bullshit

  • SeanN

    Dude this is like half the high school kids here in Chicago. Any worse that the pile of feces that is Oceano? I think not!

  • Malacoda

    Really, this isn’t much worse than Oceano, if at all. Like others said, it’s just boring, and the vocals are marginally better than some of the other bands in this category. I wouldn’t even classify this as Shitstain worthy, just sucky.

  • http://hookinmouth.net Hook In Mouth

    haven’t we seen this same band about a thousand times only under different names. Christ, when will it end????

  • lolwut

    i loved how the drummer couldnt even keep a steady bass drum roll and his rape of the snare thats off beat and the singer acts like he stepped on a land mine and his punching the ground but as far as chug chug bands go wasnt dreadful could be better with a better drummer / vocalist…

    the “singer” looks like a dude at my school stupidly redeclious big gauges/plugs

  • Cat Tyrson

    Why tha fuck does that puke have Tamp Ons in his ears…

  • Mario

    Im from the Pittsburgh area, and my band did a handful of shows with these guys. Pretty queer.

  • Zombie(really)

    Well, I will say it’s better then Attack Attack. However, I would still pour acid into their eyeballs!

  • myke

    hey everybody lets do the crab walk!!!!

  • blackmetalJJ

    the song ain’t bad kinda fun actually. the music video though makes me laugh…at them. what are they trying to be anyway???

  • Fufkin

    Tony Iommi gave his fingertips for this?

  • kjetil

    It’s a shame they have to play super-generic breakdowncore, i think they have somewhat potential to be an death or thrash metal band

  • kjetil

    It’s a shame they have to play super-generic breakdowncore, i think they have somewhat potential to be a decent death or thrash metal band

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ziv-Frenkel/722358828 Ziv Frenkel

    What the fuck is wrong with his ears?

  • braincake

    it must be telling us something when most that watch this are only interested in that guys ear lobes.

  • Phil

    nothing like watchin short-hairs ‘trying’ to head bang