THE TOP 10 MANLIEST METAL ALBUM COVERS OF ALL TIME
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 at 3:00pm by Vince Neilstein
The fine folks at the unfuckwithable Deciblog have published a list of the Top 10 Manliest Metal Album Covers of all time, and the results are extremely manly indeed. I was thrilled at the inclusion of Accept’s super-studly Balls to the Wall, and not one but two Manowar covers. My only suggestion would have been Poison’s uber-hetero Look What the Cat Dragged In, but I’m sure Decibel would rather shut its doors forever than proclaim anything by Poison manly in the slightest.
On Accept, those German stud-machines, who came in at #4:
Uh, this album cover has been poured over by many a metalhead. What does it mean? What are Accept trying to communicate here? Should I feel slightly uncomfortable when I gaze upon this man’s sweaty/hairy tensed-up leg? Why is he holding a ball? What type of ball is it? It looks hard. How do I know this? Well, the man’s veins are showing. Not his main vein (thank Thor in a g-string!), but the veins in his hand. All these years and we still haven’t reached a conclusion. And, yes, even now we’re slightly uncomfortable.
Touche.
-VN
An alternative reading of that last line could be:
“…but I’m sure Decibel would rather shut its doors forever than proclaim anything by Poison metal in the slightest”.
Seriously though, the dudes in some of those covers must look back and ponder – “What the fuck was I thinking?”
The list fails right off the bat for not realizing that the disco ball on the Turisas ‘Rasputin’ single is there because they’re covering a FUCKING DISCO SONG.
Wow, those were very, very homoerotic.
2 of these album covers are manly at best.
Where’s WASP’s Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)??
Yet somehow I feel less manly after viewing them…
Virgin Steele is the best the others are Weak.
twighlight of the thunder god = manlier than the crusher
Let the hipster have their way, of course it turns out gay.
Its a ball gag
that album cover reminds me of my last birthday party…
…jk ;)
Amped to see my favorite joke metal band get both the #1 and #3 spots on this list.
man thats not even amon amarths manliest album cover… wtf, “twilight of the thunder god” is one of the best album covers i ever seen! and they pick crusher? cmon
I just scrolled down to that hairy leg and threw up a little bit in my mouth. Nasty
umm yeah…homo manly.
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