Well, it was only a matter of time. The remaining members of Dimmu Borgir have lashed back at recently fired bassist/vocalist Vortex and keyboardist Mustis in a statement that, tonally at least, is actually very calm and even-handed (almost disappointingly so – at least from a humor standpoint). But it does make some pretty wild accusations about the behavior of at least one of these former band members.

Our friends at Metal Insider picked out these highlights, thus saving us the trouble:

Lesson number one, the obvious one: Don’t forget to bring your instrument when you’re about to play a festival in which you’re going to perform in front of thousands of fans that have travelled far and paid money to see you play.

Lesson number two, a less obvious one and can easily be forgotten while under the influence but still: Don’t hurt yourself in an alcoholic rage smashing a glass to your forehead putting yourself, your band ‘mates,’ crew, not to mention the show(s), in jeopardy.

Now, auctioning off your band’s most recent album on eBay, only signed by yourself, can’t be looked upon in any other ways as pure greed, not to mention mockery, towards the rest of the members of the band that you’re still in, AND the fans.

Wow. Isn’t Dimmu big enough now that they have a crew or somebody whose entire job it is to ship their instruments to the gig? Are they really responsible for carrying their own shit around? I guess if one of them was selling memorabilia on eBay, they’re not doing as well as I thought. Hm.

As for smashing yourself in the head with a bottle, well, I’ve seen people do some dumb shit when they’re drunk, but, yeah, I can see where that might be a deal-breaker.

Read the band’s entire statement at Metal Insider, then come back and weigh-in here.

-AR