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Haterade

STICK STICKLY IN THIS KID’S VAGINA

 Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 3:30pm by

At least two of you have emailed us about this kid’s bedroom guitar cover of Attack Attack!’s “Stick Stickly.” When we first looked yesterday, the video had about 1,000 views… now it has 11,000, and I’m about to make it climb even higher.

This video just confirms what we’ve all known all along, which is that Attack Attack! (and other bands like them) are popular amongst 15 year olds not because of their completely generic music but because of their look, crab-crouch, and synchronized guitar swings. Total gimmick. This kid even does it all just like the band does in their terrible video, right down to the retarded disco dance at the end.

And here’s the worst part… 3 years from now this kid is going to realize what shitty taste in music he used to have, and he’ll go on to listen to bigger and better things (hopefully). He’ll be ashamed of this ridiculous piece of YouTube detritus and he’ll probably delete it to avoid embarrassment amongst his new college chums. Then, 5-10 years after that when he’s all growed up and has a job and possibly a family, he’ll be reminiscing about the glory days of Attack Attack! with some buddies over a few beers — as will his peers elsewhere across the U.S. — and boom, the screamo-crunk-whatever-core revival is born. UGH. FUCK ME! Life sucks.

Anyway, here it is…

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  • Burton C. Bell’s Forehead

    Lol @ all the comments he has at the start of is video against haters.

    • Stabitha C.

      This is the best part of the video. If there was any doubt that this kid is actually a 6 year old girl, this fact is confirmed by all the popups. All I can hear is ‘YEAH WELL I DUN CARE WUT U THNK OF ME BITCHY FUCKFAAAAAAACE!’

  • Double D

    I made it 46 seconds in and realized that I had never heard an Attack!x2 song and was ruining that.

    • dot

      me too. and i’m going to keep it that way. screamo-crunk what?

  • Tom

    catcowmilkyway?????

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOW

    • Tom
      • The M_F Beard

        So let me get this straight ?

        He does eurohouse songs ?

        Like mid 90s german love parade eurohouse…. with guitars.

        I am going to end my own life as a direct result of this.

        I will also tell him that he directly has caused me to end my own life.

        I will then link my parents, and girlfriend, and friends to his page, so that they can see exactly what it was that caused me to end my own life.

        • Double D

          You’re gonna let a 15 year old hold that much sway over your existence? Stay away from middle schools…

        • Shelbyy

          Haha. That’ll cause a chain of events that will lead the world to a mass suicide.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-J-Harrison/1095943638 David J Harrison

        Dude…..The horror! It’s like a train wreck you just got to look! Oh man do not waste your time.

  • Matt

    He has an IWABO shirt.

    nooooooo

    • mankvill

      hating on Attack Attack but liking IWABO means you’re a fucking retard.

    • g

      obviously its only cool to like a band that makes their ironic sensibilities obvious to even the most unsubtle mouthbreather

      • Double D

        HAHAHAHA! So true!

  • I’m not racist, but I hate Oceano

    He has to be deleting all of the negative comments. For the love of god I hope he is.

  • tom

    why are all these scene kids unhealthily skinny or overweight?

    • Beard

      I thought the same thing. Arms like a tooth pick. Or tongue depressor, sine the song is called stick stickly. And thats what stick stickly was. Fucking Nickelodeon.

  • mankvill

    CRABCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

    IT WILL DESTROY US ALL

  • dlux

    fucking horrible. every band around here does the sweet synchro crabbing. what ever happened to learning to play? if you have the time to learn dance moves, the music you’re playing is probably elementary.

  • http://metal.blog.nl Alexaintonfire

    douchebag. of. the. year.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-J-Harrison/1095943638 David J Harrison

    I want the 1 minute back on my life that I watched that retarded video thank you! I actually cringed. These kids can’t be serious…..really? Sheesh. I hope that scene shit dies really quick like NU metal.

  • dlux

    as horrible as this is, i still think this is worse

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XM7FRiIf6pI

    • mankvill

      did i just get transported back to 6th grade?

      • dlux

        i’m sorry man! isn’t awful. someone didn’t get the nu-metal memo.

        • dlux

          isn’t it awful, rather

          • jason

            Is that Robb Flynn? XD

  • Sprucespruce

    this is better then millie vanillie

  • theReaper

    i swear i just saw like a 13 year old girl wearing those same shorts…and hair…

    • canea

      I was gonna say, those are some killer shorts, huh?

      • groverXIII

        His mommy got them for him at Old Navy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Dasher/30826541 Matt Dasher

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (shudders)

  • Gecko

    I’m really happy I’m not a high school kid now, because I would just go Columbine on all of these scene idiots. Crabcore? Really? We need this like we need pee flavored candy. That’s right. Pee flavored.

  • groverXIII

    Is he the Stick Stickly the song refers to? Seriously… he actually looks like a stick figure. Eat a sammich, kid.

    • Seth

      Thats the name of the song. The music video is 100 times more hilarious.

      • groverXIII

        I know that’s the name of the song… I was merely making a jest regarding this kid’s physique.

        You should see the second video Attack Attack! did for this song… it doesn’t have quite as much retarded crabcore stuff, but it does contain a ridiculous storyline.

  • enyggma

    That is the worst fucking song I have ever heard. That is also the funniest fucking video I have “scene” in a long time bwhahaha!

  • metalocalyptic_death

    i am 15 and i dont listen to anything like those bands, i hate attack attack and brokencyde can suck a chode. this kid i give some credit to for he can actually play and jump around and all that nice stuff. but his taste in music brings my respect for him ferther down. and 1:12, what is this? looks like some old sag constapated man trying to learn to walk again. and this band sounds like a total rip off of the band devil wears prada, which sucks too.

    • jason

      You need to spend less time online and more time doing your english homework.

      • stepwan

        i loled

      • wyrdling

        this.

      • metalocalyptic_death

        english sucks

  • jtquake

    pretty funny when he starts hopping around doing the actual crab shit

  • MetalRod

    gross… i just puked in my mouth.

  • Sammy

    I do hate this music. I hate the gimmick. But I’m not about to start bagging on someone else’s gimmick because I’m sure moshing and headbanging looked really moronic to people who grew up listening to Jethro Tull and CCR.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/ZombieNixon3000 President Nixon

    Fuck, I was excited when my Scar Symmetry cover got 300 views in a week. Why do I even bother when this bullshit gets beaucoup views? I suppose I should be thankful for not being a MetalSucks haterade entry.

    Also, this song keeps coming back to haunt me. Why won’t it go away? :(

  • lolwut

    i almost want to throw away my same iwabo shirt cause of this other than his shittastic taste in music he can play ….. (and dance) i suppose

  • troe

    I couldn’t even get through this. Still the pop-ups in the beginning were full of the “lulz”.

  • borden

    here’s to hopping that skinny little fuck breaks his neck headbanging while do that stupid crab walk!!!! Tighter plaid shorts please!!

  • The_Kak

    As much as i hate this kid, scenesters and Attack Attack!, I looked on his youtube acount and saw a cover of sequoia throne. He hit every note perfectly and that IS quite a difficult song to play.

    • http://www.myspace.com/ihopeyourot DemiGod

      which just proves the put 1000 monkeys into a room with 1000 typewriters eventually one of them will come out with Shakespeare.

      The kid is still a cocksucker.

      • The_Kak

        true

      • TrapThem

        I second this notion and your picture is awesome

  • Balls666

    My arms are 21 inches around. They are bigger than any part of that little fucker’s body. I want to put his head between my forearm and bicep and crush his skull like an egg. What the fuck is wrong with youth these days? I want to beat the shit out of him with his own guitar. I bet the guitar lasts longer than he does. I want to stuff him into a storm drain with a broomstick. I can’t say anything positive in this box. I would revel in watching this little shit kill himself.

    • DidgeryDoo

      Dude I don’t like the band either but c’mon…

    • http://www.myspace.com/thequarrymusic RJMrgn

      Roid rage?

      • Balls666

        I can’t afford steroids.

  • http://www.thejamminjabber.com thejamminjabber

    There is no god.

  • FU

    Its sad 5 years ago i would have loved that but i cam to my senses found this for you guys on crapcore i mean crabcore lol http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Crabcore

    • SourDeez

      hehehehehe

  • http://www.last.fm/user/mathcore16 Davidian

    I just turned 16, and I can guarantee that I won’t be part of the promised ‘screamo-crunk revivial”

    • SourDeez

      If I can impart any wisdom on today’s teenagers, it’s this: Smoke as much weed as you can. This tends to ensure good musical taste. I’m pretty sure if crabcore guy picked up a bong instead of a hair straightener, he would start listening to much better music, like Kyuss, and maybe even learn how to actually play that guitar. Then again, I’m only 20, what the fuck do I know?

      • Balls666

        Very poignant my friend.

  • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

    well gosh, that’s just terrible.

  • stinkybritches

    Does anybody remember the show Deadwood? Do you remember what the priest looked like when he was having seizures? That’s what this kid looked like to me.

  • Metal J.

    Gosh, kids are gay at such a young age nowadays……

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    Ahhh… the new Baroness album has leaked, and is currently sandblasting this Attack Attack! crap from my brain. All is right with the world once more.

    • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

      Will we ever have a chance to be together or what? Starting to feel used here. Call me back ok. Iloveyoupooky.

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        I’m starting to think you don’t really love me after all.

  • SourDeez

    This video, as well as the song, should be titled “No Pussy Ever, Guaranteed”.

  • sdcloud69

    kid needs to bulk

  • http://www.myspace.com/jay234t Brutal Jay

    He should be burned and died for wearing that iwrestledabearonce shirt during the video… He doesn’t deserve it.

  • FU

    Holy shit look at those pants more crabcore http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmonsO6wbWw&feature=related

  • vegan

    ugh. so this is crabdancing,wow i always hated the music but now i see the kid do it and i just feel like going colombine on these dillholes

  • http://chroniclesofchaos.com Daniel Cairns

    He deletes all the negative comments.

    Pussy.

    • SourDeez

      Pussy is something he will never lay eyes upon.

      • http://chroniclesofchaos.com Daniel Cairns

        I dunno man. Who can resist that graceful crab walk?