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Haterade

SLEEPER CELL SHOULD GO BACK TO SLEEP

 Friday, September 4th, 2009 at 11:00am by

This is not a test. This is a real music video. The year is not 1999. I could list the ways in which this band is terrible, but it’d just be too easy. I feel bad for Director George Burton who had to pretend to like this band and hide his laughs to get his payday. Looks like the guy actually had a decent production budget to work with, too.

This band apparently has a record deal that’s somehow connected to Universal. My head is spinning.

-VN

“dlux”

Tags: ,
  • Ziltoidberg

    0:20

    Nu Crab-core.

    • Uglymicrowave

      the best part of this video is that nu crab-core, the affliction Tshirt and Biggie Smalls spinning records…

      I wouldn’t even listen to this shit if it was 1999

  • Insomnivore

    I hope Universal have the rights to ‘Get Off’ by Prince, actually I hope they haven’t.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    Wow… I had a flashback to 2001. Crazy.

    • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

      Yeah so crazy huh. Look at me I identify with you so much. Like me. Please. I couldn’t bare it if you didn’t like me.

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        Is it a pain in the ass having to change your user name every time you want to post a comment? THat would bug the shit out of me.

        • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

          But its the little things that keep the relationship fresh right. Why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you talk to me? I miss the way you stroke my hair and look into my eyes when you tell me you love me!

          • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

            It’s that new shampoo that you’ve been using. It smells funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Dasher/30826541 Matt Dasher

    Nu metal ist krieg

  • TheRooktrocity

    They’d be better with a breakdown. And more DJ scribbles.

  • Dane

    They’d be a lot better if it was only DJ scribbles.

  • This Shit Sucks

    Wow. This shit would’ve been horrible in 1999 too.

    • Fu

      lol yes it would have been its like puddle of mudd trying to be hardcore but even shittier

  • Carlos

    i had the opportunity to go see them in the city i live in but turned it down….guess i didn’t miss much

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Menard/502061034 Jesse Menard

    hahahaha hard as nails

  • cougar party

    How the fuck did these guys get a record deal? This shit isn’t even trendy right now.

    • dlux

      i don’t think they have a record deal. if they did they probably wouldn’t be “headlining” shows in deshler ohio. look it up on mapquest. it’s a metropolis! hahaha

  • The Goat

    Damnit! I paused Graveland’s Carpathian Wolves to hear 10 seconds of this idiot garbage. Although it is funny that they’re heavier than the metalcore/deathcore/screamocore bands!

    • Canvas Of Flesh

      Graveland is great.

  • Carnage

    A thrash metal revival is being successful so naturally, nu metal would be too…right?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Dasher/30826541 Matt Dasher

      The difference is that in retrospect, thrash was awesome. Nu metal was crap.

      • Nate

        Lol…. this made my day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Uber/169800969 Chris Uber

    You got to be fucking kidding me. FML.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Byron-Ward/797615124 Byron Ward

    Wow…. I didn’t know music like this still existed…. I’m serious…!

    • dlux

      sadly it does. in ohio, dbags in their mid to late 30s still dig this shit. makes me puke. listen to how bad the guitars sound. 20 dollar recording budget 1000 dollar video budget. 20 dollar affliction shirt budget.

      • jaahn

        you hit the nail on the head when it comes to ohio. this is about 99% of the shit trying to pass itself off as metal here these days. fucksticks like this were still playing hair metal by the time nu metal became trendy with the kids, so it don’t really surprise me they think this kind of shit will land them a record deal now. oh well, at least the punk scene here has a little more sense.

        • xCOOCOOKALx

          Skeletonwitch makes up for all the Chimaria/Mushroomhead/Attack Attack/Sleeper Cells that this state of buckeyes churns out.

          • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches_of_peaches

            True, there are good metal bands here – Skeletonwitch, Mouth of the Architect, Keelhaul, Harlots (RIP), and possibly a few more. But in general – the metal scene in Ohio is anything but healthy.

  • lkgf09

    has the music industry really run out of ideas? a nu metal revival? really? I can’t wait for the day we have a crabcore revival.

    • braincake

      it would have to go away first. :)

    • kjetil

      Thanks for ruining my life!!! :((((

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Farhaad-Esfandiary/501309890 Farhaad Esfandiary

    Blegh. I’m currently marketing record with a band who has a DJ.

  • dlux

    hahaha finally this got posted!!!!! i think they’re “record deal” is actually a joke. if you read their one blog they boast about being the “first” ohio band to have their video on tv. anyone seen this on tv yet? didn’t think so. well done metal sucks!

    • jaahn

      LMAO! i guess they forgot about Nine Inch Nails. Cleveland, baby!

  • Kye

    I LIKE “nu-metal” and I still think this is literally the shittiest song I’ve ever heard. You could have come up to me listening to Korn in ’99 and introduced me to these guys and I would have told you to go drown yourself. Fuck this band.

    And no, they aren’t the first Ohio band to have a video. Hawthorne Heights anyone?

    Sleeper Cell for the lose.

    • dlux

      there’s literally a hundred ohio bands that have had videos. dunno what they were thinking. wish there was 1 less ohio band that had a video…

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        And the pity is, there’s decent OH bands that get no love (Five Horse Johnson, Cloudkicker).

        • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches_of_peaches

          bleh, Cloudkicker is more of a one-man project than an actual band.

      • http://myspace.com/cradle1984 Tom

        i guess when it comes to originality, some labels think bands like Sleeper Cell have it, but i bet they’re feeling pity on themselves for doing it. and i can just picture the A&R of the label bowing his head in shame thinking “what the fuck did i just do” lmao.

        • Gospel of Madness

          All the best bands come from other countries.
          75% of American metal bands suck balls.

  • Rik

    I actually like nu metal, but this is fucking terrible.

    And um aren’t Chimaira and NIN from Ohio? Just to mention a couple…

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Yeah, Cleveland… so are Mushroomhead and Marilyn Manson, originally.

      One outta four ain’t bad, I suppose.

      • Metal J.

        Skeletonwitch is Ohio metal.

        • dlux

          yes indeed they are! athens, ohio metal to be precise.

  • Joe
    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII
      • http://bsisserson@gmail.com nairbs

        lmao.. i thought so too

    • dlux

      it sounds like two shitty songs playing at once. i thought i had two videos opened up. horrible.

      • TheRooktrocity

        Watch from :30 to :35. Notice the drummer does a fill without bringing his arms down. Sheer talent.

  • braincake

    reminds me of pro pain

  • http://myspace.com/cradle1984 TOm

    yeah, i agree with the heading, Sleeper Cell needs to go back to sleep. the band is f*ckin terrible. i saw the video online a month ago, and i also feel sorry for the producer having to put up with this “metal wannabe’ band, but the theatricals the signer portrays just got me rolling on the floor laughing my ass off at how over dramatic he was and how pathetic he looked doing it. this band definitely puts shame tot he rock and metal world.

  • http://twitter.com/holyprimate jay

    pure. shit.

  • DidgeryDoo

    Crabcore must cause some nasty skid marks.

  • Porkspam

    guitarists shirt randomly will vanish… this is too freaky for me

  • Pantallica

    What a shitty drummer

  • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

    system of a down syndrome.

    • Metal J.

      Best comment!!!!

  • TheRooktrocity

    Something about skinny Morgan Rose lookalikes in Affliction t-shirts…oh wait, that’s the first one I’ve seen.

  • http://www.myspace.com/northwestroyale Blake

    This is fucking terrible. Seriously. Who thought it was a good idea to sign these guys?!

  • http://www.myspace.com/beneaththesoil1 skeletor

    Affliction = 2009′s version of No Fear + a bunch of tools wear Affliction shirts so Affliction < cool

  • metalguy

    why wont the drummer stop staring at the camera? why is the disturbed-guitarist clone guitar player taking off his shirt every other scene. why is the singer taking a shit? is that black man in the band, and if not does he realize how bad this is

  • deathray76

    these guys party like it’s 1998. i’m sure all the MMA-loving douchebags that hang out at the local bar they play must think their shit’s fuckin’ tight, bro.

  • DidgeryDoo

    You guys all suck. This band is my favorite. I’ve been waiting an entire lifetime for Nu-Metal to come back so I can travel to the Nu-Metal Mecca, Ohio, and listen to really mediocre musicianship with a turntable thrown in as a desperate pleading for relevance.

    Wait actually these guys suck. This whole idea is full of suck.

  • dlux

    these guys are worse:

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.channel&friendID=380737129&n=380737129

    goddamn this “music scene” in ohio.

  • http://bsisserson@gmail.com nairbs

    I would like to take the hugest, steamiest, rankest dump on these fucks.

    • dlux

      hahahahaha

  • JustGrimace

    These guys suck, they’re from the Toledo-ish area where I live. The popular heavy music here is goth/industrial and this crap.

    They acted like pricks when they got their deal, too.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      BG?

      (I’m from Toledo.)

      • dlux

        i’m from toledo too. please don’t associate these douchebags with toledo. they’re from findlay.

    • dlux

      they were always pricks. i don’t understand why they think they have a “deal’ primoris records has Screech from saved by the bell on their roster for christ’s sakes. all primoris does is get them on itunes and stuff. any asshole with a computer could do that. not like they’re getting any good shows or getting on tours. the place cleared out before they went on when i had the unfortune of being at a show they were on.

  • lkgf09

    lol at the fat black dj

  • Sambo

    Well after I heard this song, I thought that overall, it wasn’t all that bad, but it sounded like a nu-metal version of Onyx’s “Slam” whenever that DJ played that same scratch in the chorus, and if you ask me, if they got rid of the DJ, they would have potential. I’m not just gonna say that this band sucks, but it would sound better without the DJ.

  • Tim

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    Egad… found this description of the band…

    “Based out of Ohio, Sleeper Cell is an old school metal band with a modern twist.”

    Old school? Nu metal is not old school metal. Good lord.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trip-Cahouet/706361037 Trip Cahouet

    This is why Linkin Park changed their style…they don’t want to become this corny bullshit.

  • MetalRod

    LMAO everything about this is terrible

  • T

    Correction, everything about this is boring…

  • http://www.theblacklaser.net Joe The Wizard

    This has got to be the best band I have every heard. Step aside, Pig Destroyer, there are new sheriffs in town.

    • dlux

      every heard. haha

  • Dutchguy

    And the award for most generic guitar riff of the year goes to…. Sleeper Cell, with Black.

  • William Grimmkvlt

    The only way this band’s style could be more outdated is if the singer wore a backwards Yankees cap and the rest of the band was wearing NWO/Austin 3:16 t-shirts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason Crispen

    want an extra chuckle? go to their myspace and listen to “mama said knock you out” hahahaha i was in tears.

  • Jizzmaster3000

    Haha cool I’m 14 again. Time to dig out the first Tony Hawks game and reattach a 2 foot chain to my wallet.

  • Patrick

    Sounds like linkin park meets a very bad imitation of David Draiman…
    VERY bad.
    This gives heavy/rock music a bad name.

  • Tommy Lindbergsen

    I feel a little less white after listening to this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kasper-Maigaard/1027001938 Kasper Maigaard

    This somehow reminded me of Linkin Park. shudders…

  • http://chroniclesofchaos.com Daniel Cairns

    That drummer is mesmeric. It’s like Grima Wormtongue escaped from middle earth.

  • BrandonMetal

    thanks for the post, i laughed hysterically for the entire 4 or so minutes!

  • Shaman

    Haha, I half expected him to start walking sideways

  • dlux

    more crabcore

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VfbcNugJ4E

    dudes are also from ohio. something in the water here, i swear.

  • chinnymac

    This band sucks…seriously. I think I just died a little inside.

  • LeroyDragon

    GAY!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-James-Cook/508828165 Michael James Cook

    I swear this dude is the brother of Scott Stapp (from Creed). They sound alike they look alike they both share a passion fro making shitty music! Twins i tell ya twins!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-James-Cook/508828165 Michael James Cook

    If you dont believe me check out this picture i threw together!
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v720/Whitefordloser/sleepercreed.jpg

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-James-Cook/508828165 Michael James Cook

      also around 3:00 – 3:03 it looks like hes sucking himself off in a cage! wtf

  • sleepercellrulz!

    nice white contacts, asshole

  • fightingmike

    This band looks and sounds like the shitty bands that used to open for touring bands in the late 90s. I dont understand how any band like this is still around and thinks that this music is any good at all.

    Also, that drummer looks like he is about to cry.

  • Alan Smithers

    I was born and raised in findlay, I swear these guys did not take the hint and become a cover band like the rest of the washed up acts that tried to arise from here… Oh wait

    “Mama said knock you out”

    …Just to add insult to injury

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Thomas-Paul-Telles-II/536920826 Thomas Paul Telles II

    A few months ago a co-worker of mine recommended Sleeper Cell to me, saying that they “rock”. I checked out their Myspace page and was less than impressed. Supposedly a few weeks ago, my cousins’ band ( http://www.myspace.com/deathtoitstoll ) and my brother ( http://www.myspace.com/blazealb ) were hanging out in the Meijer parking lot goofing around, as we in the BG area often do, when Sleeper Cell’s tour bus pulled up, and someone asked if they were a band and if they could open for them that night. SLEEPER CELL WAS SO DESPERATE FOR AN OPENING BAND THAT THEY WERE ASKING GROUPS OF PEOPLE IN STORE PARKING LOTS.

    • dlux

      there is NO way those dudes have a tour bus.