SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 10)

Thursday, September 10th, 2009 at 11:00am by Vince Neilstein

More crabcore. Don’t these kids realize that it’s never cool to copy something verbatim? Like, Attack Attack! did the crab-crouch thing; it’s retarded, but it’s their gimmick. Copying another band’s gimmick is even more retarded. Their name is retarded too, and I will most certainly not ever remember it. Fuck this band.

-VN


72 COMMENTS on “SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 10)”

  1. wata says:

    I spot only 1 v-neck shirt. GET WITH THE TIMES, YO!

  2. Even bad publicity is good sometimes. I think the band will love that you put this up

  3. ofekk says:

    you sir, are a complete asshole

  4. Honeynutzz says:

    Can’t we just pretend they don’t exist? That way you guys can spend more time writing about shit we care about.

  5. Bill says:

    their legs must be finely chiseled by now.

  6. John says:

    How can you possibly play a one note breakdown and be sloppy. Thats fucking offensive.

    • ZapBranigan says:

      Screwing up the one note breakdown is pretty sad.

      This is the Altar Bar in Pittsburgh. Its an old church they turned into a club and actually a really cool place. I saw Strung Out there a few months back.

      This band sucks.

  7. Jesse Menard says:

    kids eat that shit up

  8. Piero says:

    Please stop with the Shitstain thing. This was funny like 3 or 4 times but by publishing this you just advertise the wrong bands..

  9. d00shc00gr says:

    CRAB BATTLE!!!
    I… LOST MY KNIFE!

  10. Max says:

    Is it just me or does it seems like this band and the last shitstain do a LOT of jogging in place? Maybe we’re all mistaken and these are actually workout videos

  11. cougar party says:

    This is the worst crab core yet. Fucking fuck.

  12. RobotScythe says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, our US Olympic Synchronized Crab-Walking Team.

  13. Dave says:

    Holy shit, i know this band sadly because im from pittsburgh too, I can’t tell you how many bands that are EXACTLY the same as these kids. It’s real hard being in a metal band around here with all the crab people scuttling around.

  14. Zitloid says:

    These bands make me sad inside.

  15. RJMrgn says:

    Whereas on the one hand, I can see the benefits of holding these sort of cunts up to the ridicule they so richly deserve, on the other I think I’d rather a frequent feature along the lines of “Awesome Bands You’ve Never Heard Of” (as opposed to “Terrible Bands You’ve Never Heard Of”; which is pretty much what this is) which would be a) better and b) less liable to infuriate me.

  16. MetalMatt says:

    the return of Zilty!

    that band is just wrong in so many ways.

  17. Jason Shaw says:

    I want to break their arms off like chicken wings. After feeding them their own intestines, of course. Conservatives say that metal causes aggression in youth; WRONG!! Its the youth putting out this garbage that causes aggression. Hang these fuckers by their skinny jeans and let me take out their hearts.
    Also, I agree with the majority: I would spend more time on your site if you posted Amazing Bands on the Ass of the Universe. Are you guys turning into Revolver Magazine?

  18. The Goat says:

    HA! They’re playing in the daytime!

  19. Sammy says:

    I love the girl up front with the tiny pony tail. She (and the rest of the “crowd”) is just standing there chatting with her friend, as if the tools (Not Tool) on stage are trying to pick up quarters with the anuses.

  20. Sammy says:

    Hey! Sphincter-core.

  21. Kuranes says:

    Okay, music aside, try doing wide-stance deep knee bends like these guys. Not so easy, is it? Now try doing it in ball-crushingly tight pants. I think they spend their spare time practicing yoga (and not music, obviously).

  22. TrapThem says:

    This is the worst thing in the world…not just musically..everything about this makes this planet that much worse off

  23. groverXIII says:

    Why is the singer moving around so much? He totally doesn’t fit the retardedly slow pace of the music.

  24. uLy says:

    STOP POSINT THIS SHIT YOU FUCKING RETARD. The more you post it the more publicity it gets. Just let it fucking die!!!

  25. Timothy says:

    If you watch w/out sound, one might think they’re doing synchronized aerobics or jazzercise, perhaps,

  26. HartmanB52 says:

    I know it’s coming…soon the keyboard player will be banging his head and not pay attention, then BAM!! Knocked out cold, blood on the keys, while the guitarist squats on his face! HAHAHAH I can see it now, I am waiting.

  27. Ziltoid says:

    The synchronized crabbing at the beginning is some of the most pathetic, yet hysterical concert footage I’ve seen.

  28. Ziltoid says:

    Hmmm, let’s see if my “comment is waiting moderation” now!!!!!

  29. Ziltoid says:

    Will this work?

  30. Ziltoidia (Hates how his comments are awaiting moderation) says:

    Will a change of name work?

  31. Grymmbear says:

    Can we get some focus on some good bands for a change?

    I hear Katatonia, Dark Tranquillity, and Blut Aus Nord have some new shit coming out soon… oh, and how about that Heaven Shall Burn DVD?

  32. Ben says:

    Wow this is the first band in these segments I have never heard of before.
    Good job metalsucks ;D

  33. DJ says:

    i love how at about three minutes in one guy forgot to crab

  34. poopsmcgee says:

    i apparently listened to most of that song (until i stopped early) with hell’s bells in the background. i was like “man it doesnt even sound like those guys (using guys loosely, of course) are playing the same song”. then i realized it was my itunes. when i stopped itunes i noticed no difference…

  35. AcrookedAxis says:

    IGNORE THEM!!! Your being as irritating as them by brining ‘em up on your site. Just stick to what you know, and thats writting about good metal bands. And have some Poutine

  36. Brutalizer says:

    Beyond horrible

  37. mankvill says:

    Watching the first 20 seconds of this without sound was hilarious.

  38. bob says:

    I love the fact it looks like no absolutely no one iin the crowd cares what they are doing onstage.poor, poor bastards.

    Its funny as I m sure all the old Thin Lizzy, Skynard guys use to take shots like this when me and my peeps were “picking up change”to Anthrax , SOD and Metallica, throwing elbows and skipping/skanking around in our denim jackets and reebok hightops.

  39. Mike2 says:

    i watched 15 seconds and i just couldn’t take it anymore… Remember Thy Name, you made me cry because of your ugliness and stupid copied gimmicks…

  40. twisted_freak says:

    Thanks you’ve just amped me up… I’m fucking pissed now. Cunts! haha

  41. RobotScythe says:

    Hot Topic-Core

  42. Metal J. says:

    Looks like these guys might be crab-cotring in the name of the Lord. Looks like they’re playing in a church with the stained glass in the background. I bet Jesus was weeping blood on the crucifix during their encore. Hallelujah!!!

  43. Every time we post about new bands, 3 people comment. Every time we post this garbage, 67 people comment. Clearly more people care about this tripe.

  44. kjetil says:

    i hope these kids die a slow painful death

  45. SonOF says:

    What. The. Hell? Kids these days…I don’t get it. ;)

  46. TheRooktrocity says:

    These guys make Suicide Silence seem like Judas Priest.

  47. Kevin says:

    Seriously Metalsucks how about limiting how many fucking crabcore bands you post. Once a week..
    Let’s see some good bands, start talking about underground bands that should be recognized, and some news and reviews.
    It was funny the first time now its just sad how many of these bands exist.

  48. Khaymen says:

    Wow. I hate every single one of you posting this. If you don’t like metal don’t post stuff. Its a great band. I loved every second of listening to them. And your opionons piss me off because these kids are trying their hearts out to be noticed as a Metal/Hardcore/Screamo band and you all wreck their dreams. So go publicity somewhere else.

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