GWAR’S ODERUS URUNGUS WANTS YOU
Thursday, September 24th, 2009 at 12:30pm by MetalSucks
Gwar’s Oderus Urungus is back for another round of Ask Oderus. Now’s your chance to ask everyone’s favorite Scumdogian the questions that have been burning holes in your mind; “Why haven’t you slaughtered ICP and all the Juggalos yet?” “Do you like fish sticks?” “Is it fair the singer from Anthrax got fired for shitting on the bass player’s back? Don’t you regularly give Cleveland steamers to Jizmak?” These are all questions that Oderus has answered before for you, the MetalSucks faithful.
So what’ll it be? Ask Oderus by leaving a comment, and check back next week for his majesty’s answers.
In the meantime, check out Gwar’s intergalacticly awesome new video for “Let Us Slay” and Oderus’ appearance on Opie & Anthony.
Have you ever thought of guesting on Will it Blend?
Ive always wondered if a Slave will blend…and then afterwards…how do you get them out of the blender? tostitos? doritos? carrot sticks?
WTF is “Will It Blend”…a TV show? A web show? A web page? You know there are A LOT of those out there…HTF (”how the fuck”, trying to get it up there with WTF) am I supposed to keep up with this stuff? If guesting is the gig, I am your man! When and where? I will take care of the why!
Yes, I blend slaves using a giant blender, and I don’t ever clean them out! How are you supposed to get maggots in your food if you don’t let it rot?
I don’t know about a carrot stick, but I would shove a lead fishing weight up my dick slit and then go visit your Mom in the hospital. Halfway thru the conversation (which would be kinda like “please…no…omigod” etc…) I would spit the slug out of my cuttlefish, knocking your Mom’s bedpan into her breakfast.
Dear mr. Urungus,
do you have any children other than gor-gor?
Balls yes, as a matter of fact you are one of them. Whats that? You say you didn’t realize that GWAR created the human race by fucking apes and various other creatures? We were hoping to get some kind of super-ape, but ended up with the human race instead. We’ve made the best of it together, here on Earth, and now it is time to put aside any petty differences and stand as one against the intergalactic assholes of Cardinal Syn! Their war-fleet draws closer every minute!
We lay claim to our creation, as your Lords and Masters, and demand your full effort in the coming war!
I speak symbolically when I call Gor-Gor my son. He isn’t really. Adopted at best, then abused and abandoned. We found his egg beneath the GWAR temple and Slymenstra humped it til’ the little fucker crawled out…more like hopped…he was a good hopper. Then we shot him up with liquid crack, fueling the rampage we have born witness to for years.
Recently Gor-Gor, ham that he is, showed up at our Wacken gig, and started acting up…he trashed the dressing room with that tail of his, then stormed onstage and demanded drugs. What he got was a sword through the head!
What race/class do you play on World of Warcraft?
I suppose if I had time to play this game I would play the creature was as much like me as possible, because in my eyes I am absolutely perfect…why should I want to be anyone else? How banal, how unappealing. I guess a big semi-undead orc chief maybe with some dark elf blood. Not the gay kind!
But why play this game when my life is pretty much exactly like this…except without as much walking around. I get to feel real things, like hot blood and cold pudding. Get me in front of a GWAR video game and it might be a different story.
That reminds me…GWAR is in the Guitar Hero Halloween Pack with “Gor-Gor” So it begins.
You know what we need?A full-on blood and guts and sick sex and drugs and intergalactic war GWAR video game!!!! Why the hell no one has done this already is beyond belief. C’mon, somebody grow a pair and hook up GWAR! How about Rob Zombie…a little 25th Anniversary love…peel a little off that stack and get GWAR where it should be…HUGE!!!!!
yeyeye…
new nile album soon out! cant farkin wait!
I don’t know too much about this band but have heard good things. I am going to check them out.
I notice this band is named after the famous Nile River in Egypt. Does this mean there are mummies involved? Is the band made up of mummies? Are there in fact any mummies in the band at all?
Just curious. I like mummies, and I like metal. Metal Mummies. Sounds cool.
What happened to the blood bombs yall would throw at the show?
those were ridiculous
Why haven’t yall killed amahidnnedjad?
If they do their job, they hopefully explode into your eyes, blinding you and giving you numerous incurable diseases.
As far as that crafty, kooky, A-Jad is concerned, I am in no hurry to kill him. I think he is quite amusing. I wish him all the best in his construction of a nuclear warhead and delivery system for said weapon. Hopefully Many people admire him for his defiant attitude, and I am enjoying his stand-up comedy, particularly the jokes he made about the Holocaust. Hilarious! Way funnier than Schindler’s List. Everyone said what a great movie that was but when I saw it I only laughed like two, three times!
Oderus,
I saw you morph into a human the night Dimebag died, why did you choose to take the form of a human and not of a Whiskey bottle?
We were getting close to the end of our set in Denver when I saw my tour manager on the side stage gesturing frantically. I went over and got the news that Dime had been shot. I really wish my TM had waited til’ after the show, but he felt I should know asap, and if I knew that there was no way I was going to do the rest of the set acting like nothing had happened. Just couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t tell everyone as Oderus…so we decided to ditch the costumes, break the news, and finish the rest of the set as humans, dedicating it to Dime. It just seemed like the thing to do.
We did it to honor Dime. Unbelievably the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which held an induction ceremony for U2 and various others the next day, couldn’t manage to do the same…what had happened to Dime (and music!) was not even mentioned once in the whole bloated, bullshit affair…at that moment the R+R Hall of Fame lost all credibility in my eyes…
Hard to believe he wasn’t from outer space, he really rolled like he had some serious Scumdog in him…I mean look how many rounds it took to drop him! Rock on Dime, you are loved and missed…and hopefully are jamming with Jimi Hendrix.
How do you feel about touring with Lamb of God? Since you are the superior band, why aren’t you headlining? Will we get to see Randy Blythe covered in Bonesnapper’s blood?
Damn I just saw how many damn questions I have, gonna have to stop being so damn effusive…
I thought I was headlining…not even GWAR, just me, ODERUS URUNGUS, with some guys standing around behind me playing music or something.
No, GWAR is headlining, it’s just that Lamb of God is playing after us!
How do you select the bands that open for you? How you decide how much time to give them on stage, what lights they can use, etc.?
We pick bands we like…musically and personally. This tour is the perfect example. We have worked with all these guys before, and like almost all of them! We know they can never have a better show than GWAR, so we don’t hold back lights or PA like some douchebag bands do. Like Metallica.
Will you be my best friend?
No.
I don’t have, need, or want friends. Any time spent with friends is time that could be much better spent with myself, masturbating furiously.
I will however accept donations in the forms of buying GWAR records, attending GWAR shows, and slaying in the name of GWAR.
Do well and we might hang out one day. For like 30 seconds. As long as it takes to sign all of the GWAR shit you bought!
I’m seeing your band live for the first time next week. Do I have any chance of survival or am I pretty much fucked?
You’re fucked. I’ve seen them three times and I needed to respawn each time. Hurts like a bitch.
I have heard that some actually do survive our shows, and in some cases they have gotten very clever about it, rubbing “fake” blood on their faces (and pricks) and hiding under their dead friends.
Some will rub blood with their pricks on their friends faces.
Some will build bridges, some will go places
Some come careening with malice and strategy
Cripples they cartwheel and then pass the bass to me
Just a little free-style
are you going to make a sex tape?
Been there done that! There is a quick clip of my sole outing into the field of porn (1991’s “Filthy Chunks”) stuck into the “Behind the Murder” pre-show thingie on this current tour. You can ctach it if yer quick! It’s just a quick clip of me mounting the Bad Biker Bitch…my dick actually eats through her jeans! I really need to re-release that, or at least do it again.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
“The Chinese eat no cheese
They think it smells like shit
Why the hell won’t they eat our cheese?
Still the Chinese won’t believe…”
- “The Chinese Have No Cheese”, Songs For the Wrong, DBX
Say what you will about their eating habits, but they do live considerably longer than most westerners.
What’s your take on Crab-core, Rhino-Core, Bro-Core, & any other genre branded with the core phase.
The more we struggle to define something, the more meaningless our words become.
I got a GWAR shirt at Sounds of the Underground a couple years ago. The shirt was white with white screen printing on it – the intention being to splatter red dye all over it, revealing the triumphant GWAR logo with a background of bloody gore. I did so, wore it with pride, then washed it, turning the shirt a pleasant shade of salmon. Two questions: How should I have locked the dye in the awesome blood-spattery pattern? Secondly, I still wear the pink GWAR shirt. In the eyes of the public and/or yourself, am I an unbelievable pussy or an unstoppable badass?
I, too, require this knowledge. Oh, great and mighty Oderus, if I sacrifice my firstborn daughter at your show on the 17th, will you enlighten us to yoru ways?
Throw that blood-drenched puppy in the dryer, and put it on HOT for a while. Bake that shit in there! Throw a baby in there with it, and you can wear a nice shirt to dinner…
Pink is for PUSSIES…unless it is the kind of pink that can only be attained by bathing in blood…blood provided by your LORDS AND MASTERS, the mighty GWAR! And all GWAR followers are unstoppable bad-asses, at least until GWAR destroys them!
would you consider gwar to be Gor Gor-Core?
Sure, why the fuck not? There are so many cores around I feel like I am in an H.G. Wells novel.
Anyone can listen to music. Not everyone can read a book.
Yeah, I know, I don’t get it either…
dear oderus,
when you guys come to massachusettes to play the halloween show in worchester , will you be or have you even thought of bringing out Mr.Kennedy”s corpse to have his head explode allover us mass- holes?
thank you for not slaughtering me !
andrew
I agree, that sounds like it would be a lot of fun. He should be rotted enough that his skin should just kind of sluff off as we kick it around the stage, dislodging gout’s of maggots.
Or maybe we could stick him in a car with Mary Jo Kopechnehe, that girl let drown, and shoot at them, so they can drive off a bridge.
We also could fuck it, throw it up a tree, or take dumps on his head.
Why do you remind of the villains the The Power Rangers?
Ummm…I don’t know…maybe clean the shit out of your eyes? Because we don’t look anything like that! We’re fucking studs and we dress it, hot and heavy, born for war but not afraid to rape. Maybe you mean those fags who are fighting for Cardinal Syn…and Syn himself looks like some kind of half-queer space KKK dude…but one thing is for fucking sure…GWAR does NOT look like the Power Rangers! Now go sit in the corner, and no jacking off!
Ummm…I don’t know…maybe because you have shit in your eyes? Because we do NOT look like the fucking Power Rangers. We are studs, dressed for war, hot and heavy, lubed and lobed! And I never saw ONE Power Ranger that walked around with his dick hanging out. Maybe you are talking about Cardinal Syn and his co-horts, they dress pretty gay. Or maybe you are gay, and are trying to get me to be gay too! What the fuck is up with you dude, whats wrong with being gay anyway? How long have you been gay? Did your Dad make you be gay? Did he touch you? Or was the opposite true…you made your own father turn gay! Ahhh…this is all too much. Must drink!
What is your favorite album so far this year (metal or otherwise)?
“LUST IN SPACE”, the new album from GWAR. And I am not just saying that because I am in the band, or because I am fucking someone in the band, or I am fucking somebody that is blowing someone who saw the bands laundry once. I am saying it because it’s TRUE–the new GWAR album fucking rules!
I really dig the new Lamb of God and Municipal Waste as well.
You are performing at The Palladium in Worcester on Halloween. Do you intend to dress up?
“DO YOU INTEND TO DRESS UP”??? hahaha your a tool. and not the kind you find in a toolbox, the kind you find in the gay dude above’s pants. keep wrenching.
I have not changed my clothing (armor, actually…) in as long as I can remember, nor do I care to. The more blood, brains and filth that collect on my war-suit, the happier I am. But you guys go ahead…”dress-up” like a pirate, or a used condom, or a member of GWAR…I care not. Now if your hot, slutty, filthy she-bitch girlfriend wants to dress up even sluttier, thats cool…maybe I can help dress her up…with a couple of cunt-fulls of curdled choad-rope!
Now that Alice in Chains are about to make a comeback, who do you think Gwar should replace you with when you OD? ALF? That giant brown guy from Fraggle Rock? Or a middle-aged phallus-obsessed drunken pervert adorned in leftover Toxic Avenger props?
We will merely dig a little deeper into the bowels of the Scumdog temple until we find a new member to de-thaw. There are still a few down there. I think Scroda came from there. I hope there are not any more like him…he completely sucked! But remember, we are undying immortal overlords, and now that Earth is the only place that has crack (thanks to Cardinal Syn) are not likely to be leaving any time soon. So fuck all of you GWAR haters…I hope you are getting nice and pissed over all the attention GWAR is getting. Well, get used to being pissed…its just gonna get worse! Go on…piss yourself!
Did you start the spread of the Swine Flu?
see you guys at the Bricktown Events Center friday, September 25!!!!!
I am not sure, but will say yes. Then no. Then back to yes, with a side of maybe. We create diseases with every shit we take, every pimple that we pop has the potential to kill billions. Balsac would probably have a better idea if that disease was one of ours…he is a scientist of sorts (the horrible sort) and the one with the big old laboratory in the GWAR keep that he will never let me into–as I am constantly turning his Pyrex into elaborate crack-pipes!
Did you say the Swine Flu? Where did he get the ticket? LOL!
Here’s another funny joke. Two guys are walking down the street when a pigeon shits on one. The guy says “Hey! Gimme a handkerchief!”, to which the other guys says “How come? It”s already three blocks away!” LOL! O.K., not so much…
How violently would you slaughter grammar nazis? Also isnt it true that Lady Gaga is a dude?
That comment was definately directed at me
If she is a dude then she has the tiniest dick I have ever seen.
what happened to pete lee?
Kicked ass, got shot, played with a colostomy bag, finally couldn’t take it anymore, went back to outer space to open a guitar clinic for porno stars. Or something like that. We see him every now and then, all is well…he is a completely kick ass guitar player and would love to hear what he has been up to…he is also a great cook!
Where is Zog?
Appearing with GWAR nightly! Come down and see Zog, and get your windshield cleaned. Or maybe even yer knob slobbed, depending on how bad he needs a hit and how fucked up you are.
Where the fuck is Slymenstra & how do I find her,fuck her & get killed by her?
She is in LA pursuing a number of projects…and being pursued by a horde of dudes like you…it does happen…Slymenstra on occasion will take a human male as a plaything. It’s pretty cool until she bites yer dick off.
How did it feel to win the eurovision song contest?
We didn’t you dork, that was Lordi…and they suck so I am glad we didn’t win…it would have felt like…sucking? Those guys in Lordi should hang out with Rob Zombie. That would be so scary! Maybe they could re-make Halloween 2 again, and make it even more un-original and suck even harder. Or they could just count money
can i have your scalp that u tore off your head in your rumor disproving new music video that u guys wernt from space? (which obbviously shows u are)
I will trade you for yours! Throw it up onstage at a GWAR show…make sure it’s a GWAR show because if it’s not we won’t be there.
You time travel back 2000 years, and find jesus healing a leper by the lake at sunset, he is bent over tending the sick man, do you a) rear the head of the great ugly member between your legs and ravage JC for all its worth, whilst enjoying a particularly nice sunset or b) get over excited too quickly and blind the healed leper with your venomous creamy load or c) burp and giggle?
Can I bortrow a dollar?
okay, this is a serious question and i don’t care who answers it:
if a hermaphrodite’s male genitals aren’t removed at birth or whenever, what do they pee out of? can they choose? also, if they’re actually supposed to be a female, can they get an erection?
(by the way, my dad’s a doctor and even he couldn’t answer this question.)
They pee out windows. As far as an erection goes, I will have to do some research…let me get back to you after I have sex with a bunch of “herms”…I am in New Orleans so that shouldn’t be much of a problem.
Don’t waste your time asking your Dad or your Dr,…come straight to Oderus! He be real smart and stuff!
What do you think of The Master Of Metal?
[heavymetalhappyhour on Youtube]
Will check it out. Have no idea right now. But that won’t stop me from hating for no reason.
I will hopefully go see you guys when you come through w/ Job For a Cowboy, but I wanted to ask: Why don’t you kill them and just do a 3 hour set? That’d be way more metal.
agreed
Yeah, but it would be way longer…about an hour and 15 minutes is my limit, then I have to go to go backstage for the booze and drug-fueled sex party…besides, we like them!
Would you rather have sex with Marilyn Manson or Kerry King?
Arrrgh, neither, they are both repulsive. I mean I love Slayer, but I don’t want to have sex with them…maybe it would be fun to make them have sex with each other….
Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?
He’s sexy without the dress. If you are into bestial butt sex, that is. But he is strangely alluring in that role. Many children experience their first erection when seeing this example of animated cross-dressing. Luckily, Catholic Priests can be brought in to check on the child, with their mouths, to make sure the penis is developing correctly. And so the church joins with a gender-bending rabbit in order to titillate young boys to the point where their precious little pricks fill a grown mans mouth with salty-sweet slit-barf.
perfect
alright heres a good one:
Your Girlfriend, Oprah Winefry and Scarlett Johansson
Youve got to fuck one, marry one, kill one
go!
Don’t have a girlfriend and plan to keep it that way. Women usually don’t survive sex with me so it’s hard to have a long-term relationship, unless it is with something that is dead. That’s why Pookie and I get along so well.
Scarlett’s got great tits. I”ll marry her. Just the tits, of course.
As far as that fucking hog Oprah goes…the most demeaning thing I can do to her is fuck her, marry her, and then kill her. Not necessarily in that order.
Why doesn’t Gwar come play in Las Vegas? Did you get banned or you just don’t like Sin City?
We love Vegas! They just don’t love us…we are currently banned from the HOB and the Hard Rock…something about the hundreds of gallons of hot, salty blood and piss we squirt everywhere, the patrons and bartenders we savage, and the smoking ruin we leave of their clubs and casinos. Most places don’t really care too much as they make plenty of money off of GWAR shows, but in Vegas they have so much loot already that they just don’t care.
But this has happened before… I’m sure we will be back, as they will soon be pining for the stench of our fetid bowels and the princely thrusts of our colossal cum-cannons!
Sin City afraid to book GWAR? So you are saying North Carolina will book GWAR, and Vegas won’t? Wait, I am saying it…and it’s true! And it’s also fucking pathetic!
Where did you get the space chicks in your last music video and where are they now?
I believe they came from a planet called “Planet of the Slutty Video Chicks”. I am currently seeing one of those little hotties…seeing her take a dump on my chest!
Is Gwars rise gonna be the result of the 2012 catastrophie?
You better hope the human race makes it to 2012, as there are at least five apocalypses lined up before then, this current GWAR tour being the one you should be most worried about. If we don’t defeat Cardinal Syn then he will do to Planet Earth what he has done to the rest of the Universe–made it suck! In Syn’s horrific vision there is no room for metal, unless it is twisted into the shape of a cruel cross! He has no need for crack, strippers, or free nacho cheese–quite simply it is a world not worth living in. So get down to the GWAR show and fight for the survival of the human race, or at least for your right to crank metal, swill booze, and blow dogs. Oh, and that other apocalypse is still on….
What do you make of Pee Wee Herman’s new abstinence ring, and how will this affect any of the band’s future plans?
As long as the ring is firmly encircling his penis (which is fucking huge, smells like shit, and looks like a turnip…) then we should have no problem slathering him with zebra-spunk and getting our slaves to eat his ass. Whether he is abstinent or not is of no concern to us…if we want to fuck you, you will get fucked. So just lay back and enjoy it. Oh wait, you are going to die in horrible agony…so I guess forget the “enjoying it” part.
Isn’t this like the 3rd time Beefcake mach 2 has rejoined the band? Does he have a gambling problem?
His only gambling problem is that every time we get within five miles of Las Vegas, they call out the fucking National Guard! Something about not being allowed to wear armored under-garments in the casino. So he tends to fight tanks and helicopters until either everything blows up or he decides to go drink. He will never be able to have a gambling addiction, which is the sacred right of any sentient being, if they never let him get to the table. So I have been trying to get him to go to online gambling sites, but he contends that would deprive him of valuable porno-time.
When i see YOU in Cleveland…. on the 18th. i want u make a child DIE!!! so can u just rip up some babies for me?? i have this really annoying little neighbor kid who freeks the fuck out when he see’s a darth vader mask… his mom has pretty much turned him into a huge vag. and i wanna see him get ripped into peices. because thats illegal, u should do it for me. thanks
Will do it for cab fare and a 3-ton crack boulder. And some Easy Mac.
Why do the Browns suck?
Browns will always suck until they get some fucking hot ass cheerleaders to bring the fans in. and when your teams named after the color of shit… what do u expect?
When will you just destroy Mr. Lordi once and for all? He looks like the anal love child of Rob and Marilyn. F Lordi and the euro-horse he rode in on. Long live GWAR!!!!!!!! The new album kicks ass (of course). Give ballsac, jizmak, flattus and beefcake a hug for me.
bohab for life,
\m/{’d'}\m/