SEBASTIAN BACH, YOU FAT FILTHY FUCK
Friday, September 25th, 2009 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
Sebastian Bach, who is perpetually the most entertaining former rock star in all of hair metaldom, is going to be on yet another fucking reality show – this time VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, where former “stars” purportedly go to shed some weight, but actually go because their parents didn’t love them enough, causing them to have no sense of self-worth whatsoever if they’re not constantly in the spotlight. Although a VH1 reality show strikes me as a pretty dim spotlight. But whatever.
Bach will be joined by that dude who knocked up Britney Spears, that chick from Charles in Charge I always used to think about while jerking off, crackhead Bobby Brown, and a bunch of people I’ve never heard of.
I guess the last time I actually saw Bach up close was in 2006 when he was hanging from Axl Rose’s nuts all over the world, but in all honesty, the guy looked like he was in pretty good shape. I mean, I’m sure his liver is failing and his septum has been burned-through with coke, but he wasn’t fat or anything. If anyone has seen him more recently and can tell me I’m wrong, please do so. Nothing would make me happier than to learn that Baz had pulled a Brando.
Celebrity Fit Club will start airing in February 2010, by which time I will most certainly have forgotten about it.
-AR
On Twitter he is always going on about jogging and working out. How desperate are you for publicity when u con people in to thinking your a fat ass.
is Chuck Billy going to be on this season?
What about Michael Romeo?
Cmon we all know that the guuy that should be on is DIno Cazares. You know that he eats babies right.
I’d rather watch all of the Dane Cook “comedy” specials Bach to Bach (SEE WHAT I DID THERE!!!! THE PUN!!!!) than watch this.
youre a much pleasanter person (commentator) since your big day.
I’ve noticed that as well. Frankly, the site has had way fewer articles to talk shit about (for some reason, I get the feeling that they really seem to be playing it on the safe side as of late), and since my comments always need approval (Axl and Vince don’t know why this happens), I can’t really get into arguments with anyone since there’s a gap between when I post and when it appears.
“Axl and Vince don’t know why this happens” hahaha righttt
Honestly, I had this thought myself, but I didn’t care enough to follow up on it. I’m not naive.
This had me laughing out fucking loud. The pun part. Fuck.
He wants to get bach to the body he had in high school
headline of the year!
Totally worthless.