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Laugh At Others' Misfortunes

FRED DURST JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED. IS THAT SO WRONG?

 Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 12:00pm by

fred-durst-b_0

Here’s Fred Durst back in July, shortly after he married Esther Nazarov (whomever the fuck she is):

“I love being married and I am the luckiest man alive to be so in love. It took me 38 years and was absolutely worth the wait. Every path has led me here. I’m hers, she’s mine, forever.”

And here’s Freddy yesterday:

“For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support.”

By the way, he made that little announcement over Twitter. Classy.

Fred: you are not only dumb and supremely, almost comically lacking in talent, but you also seem to have the emotional maturity of a four year old. (Which is shocking, given the depth of emotion displayed in your lyrics.) You probably shouldn’t be using words like “forever” unless you’re referring to your own rampant retardation (e.g., “I will forever be a ree-ree”), but definitely never when referring to a your relationship with a woman. Because your relationships have the same average lifespan as a fruit fly. Seriously. Marriages don’t split up after three months because a couple that really did once love another tried and tried but just couldn’t make it work; they split up after three months because the two idiots involved had no business getting married in the first place.

This is Durst’s second marriage by the way. I say he should give it another shot – it’ll definitely work out. Practice makes perfect, right? Third time’s the charm, Freddy!

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

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  • Nate

    just lulz.

  • http://www.metalsucks.net/category/scraping-genius-off-the-wheel/ Gary Suarez

    And here I thought The Longshots was about football… IT WAS ABOUT HIS MARRIAGE!!!!

  • bucketochicken

    “For those of you inquiring…”

    Actual number of inquiries (including members of Durst family): Zero.

  • bert the squirt

    But Freddy you said we’d move out of the trailer by August.

    Shut up Esther! Just shut up!

    Ten bucks says he’s staring vacantly at the wall listening to Behind Blue Eyes right now.

    • John

      His version, not the who version.

  • bearbomb

    Man he’s old! And looking more and more like Bruce Willis every day.

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

    There’s been a lot of Haterade on this site lately, and while I don’t back all of it, hating on Fred Durst never gets old.

  • DidgeryDo

    Nobody knows what its liiiiiiiike. To be the saaaaad man.

  • http://www.welovemetal.com We Love Metal

    Asshole couldn’t even pay her to stay…..

    • twistedfreak

      haha Well played.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-Michael-Christopher-Hall/1131120176 Richard Michael Christopher Hall

    he just did it for the nookie.

    • http://www.metalsucks.net/category/scraping-genius-off-the-wheel/ Gary Suarez

      1

    • Skanes

      Fucker beat me to it. +1

      • metalguy

        me too goddam

        • dot

          add me to the list.

  • Ryan

    hahaha. he is a loser in everything he does in life. from tatooing to music to marriage. what a waste. i believe the great philosopher Zakk Wylde put it best when he said “limp bizkit sucks dick”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Francis/682620709 Andrew Francis

    thank you twitter for once again proving that only people who think every one else is concerned with the little shit in there lives use it and make these announcments. FUCK YOU the state of california and every other hipster asshole nation wide, i hope u choke on ur starbucks and die . twiiter that ass hole

    • matt

      …california is a hipster asshole? does fred durst live in california? is he a hipster? what?

      • John

        Does california ride a fixed gear? That’d be a sight to behold..

    • Double D

      Where did the hipster thing come from? Your misplaced anger is hilarious. I do agree with you, though. Hipster assholes need to be fucked.

      • metalguy

        i call the female hipster assholes

    • Discipleofthewatch

      Hey, I live in California – fuck you, too!

      I don’t twitter.

  • Driven9

    I guarantee that Durst ends up on one of those shitty VH1 Celeb-Reality shows.

    • Double D

      GOOD CALL! (If I didn’t refuse to participate in the ridiculous point system that idiots on the internet apply to everything, I would use this space to reward you with a certain amount of points based on your comment. This amount of points would indicate that I think your comment is hilarious and accurate, according to my cerebellum)

    • William Grimmkvlt

      It will probably be called something like Limp Love or Flavor Of Fred.

      • Grymmbear

        “Flavor of Fred”… EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

        • Edika

          Limp love more like it. And obviously pretty limp to last only 3 months (wink wink nudge nudge say no more!)

      • Corey

        I would honestly watch that show.

  • http://www.solidsterecords.com NoCowNoFood

    Yo lo que se es que ustedes son unos cabrones asquerosos.. Im the new Esther Nazarov boyfriend ;)

  • http://www.last.fm/user/markandrew78 alexwank

    “….but definitely never when referring to a your relationship with a woman. Because your relationships have the same average lifespan as a fruit fly. Seriously.”

    Wholly endorse the post, but being the grammar police is a 24/7 job. You should probably proof read before mounting the high horse ; )

  • Andy

    Fred Durst?!

    I’m thinking this article only exists because you really wanted to write something about Five Finger Death Punch, but felt it was too early to go back on your promise to never write about them ever again.

    Well played.

  • Clit Banger

    “your relationships have the same average lifespan as a fruit fly” hahaha right on… “and you’re hung like an ant”

  • joshkid

    its all about the he said she said bullshit…

  • SourDeez

    Who’s gonna stick it up her YEAH! now that Freddy’s gone?

    • The Goat

      DJ lethal while wearing a Machine Head t-shirt

      • joshkid

        1

  • David

    Wow, judging by the picture, he really really screwed up letting that one go…unless that’s a hint of pure raging psychopath I detect in her eyes.