Nile’s new song, “Permitting the Noble Dead to Descend to the Underworld,” may have the longest title, like, ev-er, but that doesn’t make it any less stellar.

Back in May, the mighty Karl Sanders told me that the new Nile album, Those Whom the Gods Detest, would be “going in lots of different directions,” and would be less “straight ahead death metal.” This song is certainly heavy as a really heavy thing, but I can also definitely see what Sanders was getting at – it’s only just barely traditionalist American death metal.

Check the song out here. Those Whom the Gods Detest drops November 3 on Nuclear Blast.

This is one of those rare examples when a copy of a copy actually turns out alright. It’s a remix of a remix; the band Origin Theory remixing DJ Steve Porter’s “Slap Chop Rap,” which is itself a take on the infomercial for the “as seen on TV” product Slap Chop (“Chop Nuts in One Slap!” Phallic obsession, anyone?).  This is kind of brilliant and really well done; I suddenly have Origin Theory‘s music stuck in my head, and I inexplicably feel like I need to buy a Slap Chop so it can sit on my shelf and gather dust right next to the Banjo Frog, Ginsu knives and Rotisserie Chicken Oven that I really thought I needed at the time. Thanks to MS Maniac Ori Ratner for inflicting pain upon my ears and wallet.

-VN

Hey, lookit that! After their last, incredibly silly video, for “Drowning in Mud,” God Dethroned have returned with a new video “Poison Fog,” that kicks all kinds of ass. It’s not just a dude running around in a field! Hoo-ray!

And just in time for their MetalSucks co-sponsored tour with Augury, Woe of Tyrants and Abigail Williams! SCORE!

God Dethroned’s Passiondale is out now on Metal Blade. It’s killer. Go check it out.

-AR

Was Rob Zombie never cool and I was just an idiot? Or am I right that he’s only recently become kind of a let down? I honestly can’t tell.

Anyways, even if we ignore the cheesiness of the fact that Zombie is obviously trying to cash-in on past glories by making a sequel album (Has there ever been a good “Part 2″ record? First person to say Operation: Mindcrime II gets a kick in the anus.), this cover art clearly comes from the Marilyn Manson school of “Have an intern whip something up on Photoshop.” Which is not only lame, but kinda weird: Zombie went to the prestigious art school Cooper Union.

You can do better than this, Rob. C’mon. Be cool again.

-AR

Our boy Bram Teitelman at Metal Insider reports that Guitar Center – a.k.a. “the bane of Eyal Levi’s existence” – is now the defendant in a class action lawsuit, along with the National Association of Music Merchants (you know them as NAMM). See, as it turns out, those fuckers (I guess I should say “allegedly”) conspired to fix the prices of fretted instruments, even go so far as to as to attempt “to quash competition from online retailers by threatening to boycott manufacturers selling through online competitors.” Very nice.

Click to read more…

Hey kids,

We’ve brought on a new writer, Rich Hallford, to write a dating advice column. Rich is a lothario who is up to his eyebrows in pussy, so he really knows what’s what.

“Rob Halford Doesn’t Like Girls, But Rich Hallford Does” will start soon. Please submit questions for Mr. Hallford below, and he’ll get crackin’.

Also, ladies, don’t be shy. Rich’ll be only all-too-happy to give you the 411 on what dudes like, too.

-Axl, Vince, and Everyone at the MetalSucks Mansion

Jucifer is an awesome band we don’t show enough love; the record they put out last year, L’autrichienne, was the shit – a double album where almost no two songs sound alike! – and I never even reviewed it. For shame.

Now the band has released a new video, for “The Mountain.” The song is great; whether or not you like the video will probably depend on how you feel about close-ups with warped lenses. Just throwin’ that out there.

L’autrichienne is out now on Relapse.

-AR

MetalSucks is sponsoring the return of the Smokeout Festival, which is being billed as “a two day mind-opening music festival and Cannabis Cup expo.” Sound interesting? Read on.

The event is taking place on October 23rd and 24th at the San Manuel Amphitheatre in San Bernadino, CA. Day one probably won’t be of much interest to most of our readers, headlined by Cypress Hill (the event’s curators) and featuring mostly hip-hop acts throughout the day; but day two is headlined by Slipknot with immediate support from The Deftones and also features Bad Brains, Pennywise and others interspersed throughout the day. Both days will feature all sorts of ganja-related madness; hemp industry exhibits, a glass art showcase, legal workshops and grow tip seminars, and a 4:20 movie night.

The best part: tickets start at only $29.50 for a two day ticket! Check back here soon, as we’ll be giving away a pair of tickets.

Luckily for Five Finger Death Punch, being total assholes who completely lack any musical talent isn’t hurting their record sales: their new album, War is the Answer, is apparently going to sell to somewhere between 35,000 – 40,000 copies in its first week of release… and that’s just here in the U.S. That probably sounds like a lot of units moved, and you’re right. It is a lot of fucking units moved. To put it in perspective with the sales of some awesome albums that came out this week…

Click to read more…

As one of the chief riff providers for swaggercore titans Every Time I Die, Andy Williams takes pride in making the discordant into catchy. For a perfect example of this, look no further than the band’s latest (MetalSucks-approved) album, New Junk Aesthetic. Distilling the band’s decade-plus essence into a tight half hour, it’s a satisfying mix of thunderous heaviness and easily the most appealing material the band have put to tape. But while he’s often overshadowed by vocalist Keith Buckley’s relentless wiseassery, it’s his and Jordan Buckley’s Skynard-by-way-of-Dillinger-Escape-Plan guitar work that make the band stand out and ultimately worthwhile.

A self-described “chatty Cathy,” Andy Williams was remarkably frank and refreshingly earnest in a recent interview with MetalSucks on the eve of the release of New Junk Aesthetic. Among other things, he discussed why he can listen to the new album and none of the band’s other material, his thoughts on the new Converge record, the changing landscape of the scene he came up in, and life over at ETID’s new label, Epitaph.

Click to read more…

Uh, I think the headline pretty much says it all. There’s nothing for me to add, really. I’m curious to hear this album when it comes out next week, but I’m not sure what to expect. Or, rather, I’m afraid that I am sure what to expect. Or. Y’know. Whatever.

-AR

MY FELLOW NERDY GAMERS: Brutal Legend, the heavily anticipated metal-themed video game starring Jack Black, has a demo that is now available for download on Xbox Live for Gold Members. Being a Gold Member myself, I fully intend to get right and play the living shit outta that demo as soon as I’m done writing sarcastic blogs about metal for the day.

Alas, no word on whether or not the demo is going to be made available to PS3 users. But since I don’t have a PS3, I’m just gonna give a Nelson-esque “HA HA!” to those poor bastards and move on with my life.

Brutal Legend hits stores October 13. Everything I’ve heard thus far leads me to believe it’s gonna be a lot of fun.

-AR

Gwar’s Oderus Urungus is back for another round of Ask Oderus. Now’s your chance to ask everyone’s favorite Scumdogian the questions that have been burning holes in your mind; “Why haven’t you slaughtered ICP and all the Juggalos yet?” “Do you like fish sticks?” “Is it fair the singer from Anthrax got fired for shitting on the bass player’s back? Don’t you regularly give Cleveland steamers to Jizmak?” These are all questions that Oderus has answered before for you, the MetalSucks faithful.

So what’ll it be? Ask Oderus by leaving a comment, and check back next week for his majesty’s answers.

In the meantime, check out Gwar’s intergalacticly awesome new video for “Let Us Slay” and Oderus’ appearance on Opie & Anthony.

I found the following quote from a recent interview with Gene Simmons to be (inadvertently) hilarious:

“This is electric church, and no one on that stage — me or anyone else — wears the makeup and platform heels by some kind of birthright. This ain’t Europe; just ’cause your dad was king doesn’t make you the king. You’ve got to earn it. And when you defile KISS, you should be thrown out.”

Gene is referring to dudes like Ace Frehley, Peter Criss and Vinnie Vincent, of course. But I have to wonder what he thinks they did that was worse than this:

Click to read more…

This is either a parody, or this band has now usurped these guys as the creators of the worst black metal video ever. I honestly can’t tell. But either way, it’s quite giggle-inducing. Giggle giggle giggle.

-AR

Thanks to Chas Meshell for the clip!

I don’t know how I missed this, but Bruce Springsteen turned sixty yesterday. SIXTY!!! And while The Boss obviously isn’t metal, he is really awesome. And far be it from me to miss an opportunity to post a video from my youth.

So here’s Springsteen doing The Beatles’ “Come Together” with a certain Hero Long Since Dead for the 1994 Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame Induction of Elton John. For those of you who don’t remember, this really did seem cool fifteen years ago.

-AR

According to Lambgoat (who MS tipster Kye says “are about as reliable as my dog when it comes to news”), trouble is a brewin’ in the He Is Legend camp. Says Lambgoat:

Word on the street is that Wilmington, North Carolina group He Is Legend has disbanded. This could very well be the reason that singer Schuylar Croom was available to fill in for Dallas Taylor on the current Maylene and the Sons of Disaster tour. In any case, this news is unconfirmed, so don’t call your mom just yet.

He Is Legend supported their latest album It Hates You (which our own Anso DF awarded a four-out-of-five horns rating) with just one tour, and there’s nothing currently listed for the future on their MySpace page. At this point any reports of the band’s break up are purely rumors, but there is certainly cause for speculation. We encourage any MetalSucks readers with insider knowledge on the situation to email us at news [at] metalsucks [dot] net.

-VN

I found this pamphlet sitting on a seat on the train on a few weeks ago. Yikers.

-VN

You guys familiar with the phrase “Grass is greener?” Well, you should be. I think it’s human nature to get complacent and take for granted what we’ve got and think that what’s on the other side of the fence, or ocean, or job, or band, or girlfriend, or WHATEVER, is better and will make them happier. If they could just have “that” instead of “this,” then life would be better.

I’m thinking about this because I’m on tour in Europe right now. I love being on tour in Europe. I love being on tour in general. When on tour in the US, one of the questions I get asked constantly by friends or fans is whether or not the European audiences completely destroy the American audiences. People are living under the impression that Europe is some metal mecca and that you will instantly go over well here. Not the case. Also, over here people seem to think that America is the answer to your metal needs as a band, and if that they could just make it over there, then their answers would be solved. Also, not the case. Click to read more…

Skeletonwitch’s new album, Breathing the Fire, slays. That’s really all you need to know. Now watch this, the first in a series of webisodes about the making of the album.

Breathing the Fire comes out October 13 on Prosthetic. Read Vince’s interview with guitarist Scott “Scunty D.” Hedrick here.

-AR