SAYING “BEST KEYBOARD BREAKDOWNS” IS LIKE SAYING “BEST INSTANCES OF ANAL RAPE”
Thursday, October 1st, 2009 at 9:00am by Axl RosenbergThe below video is a collection of the “Best Keyboard/Synthesizer Breakdowns of All Time.” I saw it today on Sergeant D’s Stuff You Will Hate, which is certainly living up to its name. Because, y’know, I always thought “Gee, totally generic breakdowns could really use some irritating keyboards.”
A couple of good groups, like Horse the Band and Veil of Maya, seem to have snuck their way onto the list, but by and large, this stuff is just as terrible as you’d think. And let’s all thank the guy who made this for not even being able to come up with ten different bands to include – Born of Osiris and HTB are both on here twice.
Also, does The Devil Wears Prada really have a song called “Dogs Can Grow Beards All Over?” ‘Cause that would be an adorable sentiment coming from a three year old. A Christian metalcore band, not so much.
-AR
crap
born of osiris is good though.
So is Veil Of Maya
Born of Osiris is very good. I am sure some moron will bash them on here and prob never listened to an album before. They are at the top of their genre. End of story…..WHERE IS THE REVIEW FOR THEIR NEW ALBUM??????????????
I love “Stuff you will hate”!!!
I love the disclaimer at the beginning stating “I don’t listen to this crap anymore,” but that he has a different list of awesome breakdowns, meaning he’s gone from something that’s at least a bit unconventional to something that’s 100% generic.
Well, it’s good you’re pointed out which bands are shit and which aren’t. Because, you know, technically all these breakdowns sound basically the same – 4/4 beat with snare/cymbal (rides, hihats, whatever they’re called) + chuggy one-note riffs played together with less regular playing kicks + some not particularly technical keyboards. Only stuff that’s bit off is Attack Attack which are less technical (I guess they just bit suck) and Enter Shikari, which is rave-y.
wow – way to give keyboards a bad rep. There have been plenty of metal bands to encorporate keys well – Bodom, Dimmu, Dream Theater, Mirrorthrone, Emperor. (Sorry, guess I’m little partial to keyboards)
Veil Of Maya doesn’t have a keyboard player. That’s just Marc being epic on pedals.
Thats what I was thinking
yea that person is dumb lol
Totally all guitar sounds.
Veil of Maya isn’t good. I’ve seen them live. They’re stereotypical deathcore bullshit. “It’s not safe to swim today.” Really? Its about drowning yourself. I like to pretend their awful screams are telling me that there’s sharks in the pool, so it doesn’t COMPLETELY suck. Oh wait, it would either way. C’mon guys, lets hear your staccato on one note prowess!
I’m Conflicted. Keyboards have their place in metal sometimes, but sometimes the contrast is a bit too much and we are left with thinking…
“Really? Do we really need something happy sounding in the middle of that riff?”
I like Europe (the band) and all, but a lot of times I say leave the keyboards to the Europeans (and prolly power metal). They know how to do it right and not half assed.
That last band sounds like they are trying to play “Jump”
They should pass a law that prohibits people from starting bands til they’re at least 24 we’d have less bands like these and the whole squat like an idiot and run in place generation
But then we wouldn’t have Old Skull or Bad 4 Good!
Ah satire…
Apparently this guy has not heard of Beyond Twilight.
I think Chimaira does the whole keyboard/sound guy thing the best.
children of bodom
Credit were it’s due…That guy effing rips on the keys. ever see them live? He fucking shreds with the keyboard tipped all the way back so it’s upright and the keys face away. While swilling a Heineken!!!
” idont listen to this crap anymore”
nah,nah boo, veil of maya, and horse the band rule, good out ways the bad sooo, yeah
I made it to the one minute mark
I like it how he states that “He doesnt listen to this shit anymore this was made in December 2008″ Like it was some long ass time ago.
CUT! CUT! CUT! CUUUUT!
Yes, I like HORSE The Band. Better than the other bands on there.
That’s because they’re the only band that actually makes breakdowns work, by using them very tastefully instead of throwing them in every fucking song. They keep em short and sweet. The breakdown from HORSE the Song on their new album is pretty awesome, and I don’t even know why, they’re just repeating their name with gang vocals. But again, just for a few seconds.
Some of the worst music ever written.
My vote for best anal rape would have to be in the flick irreversable. It’s like fucking long, uncomfortably long. Like ten cinematic Technicolor minutes.
Horse the Band is fucking amazing and all the stuff Lord Gold plays on the keys is the shit!!!
Rammstein – Keine Lust has a good keyboard breakdown, part of another guitar/drums breakdown. Which makes is even more awesome, ofcourse.
Which makes IT even more awesome, ofcourse.
Abstract Art by Born of Osiris is without a doubt the sloppiest sounding thing i have ever heard in my life that keyboard sounds so out of place and half assed it doesn’t really help that the rest of the band is insufferable and should not play music anymore.
Hahaha, I love the “I don’t listen to this crap anymore” comment at the beginning of the video. Oh, you made something 10 months ago where you called them “THE BEST” and suddenly you’ve had such a change of heart that it’s now “CRAP”? Way to be easily swayed, kid. Not only that, but you’ve got at least 4 breakdown related videos on your YouTube page? Seriously? And you’re 22? What are you, fucking simple? Do you breathe through your mouth?
Horse the Band is fucking rad, though. And pretty much the only actual breakdowns in this list.
You want to know the best keyboard breakdowns? Any Rhapsody track. Dude, those Italian motherfuckers shred. And songs about dragons and shit that they totally take seriously? Best band on Earth.