35 OTHER CRAZY FISTS

In honor of Alaskan metalcore band 36 Crazyfists’ new DVD, Under a Northern Sky (in stores October 27), a list of 35 other famous, metal, heavy, and/or crazy fists:

1. Motorhead’s “Iron Fist.”
2. Marvel Comics character Iron Fist.
3. Clint Eastwood’s spaghetti western A Fistful of Dollars.
4. W.A.S.P.’s “A Fistful of Diamonds.”
5. “Fistfuck,” old-school hardcore from Oxnardard California’s Dr. Know, which featured vocalist Brandon Cruz, the reformed Dead Kennedys first stand-in vocalist and former star of The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.
6. Nine Inch Nails, “Fist Fuck.”
7. Aerosmith’s “My Fist Your Face.”
8. Anthrax’s cover of “My Fist Your Face.”
9. Fistula, according to Wikipedia: “an abnormal connection or passageway between organs or vessels that normally do not connect.”
10. Fistula, the Ohio stoner-metal band, rippin’ shit up.
11. Disturbed’s onetime number-one album 10,000 Fists. (But are they crazy fists? Whaa-aah-aah-ahh!).
12. Blood Duster, “Fisting the Dead.”
13. S.O.D’s “Fist Banging Mania.”
14. Exodus’ “Sealed with a Fist.”
15. Fists of Fury (1974 martial-arts flick featuring Bruce Lee).
16. Defunct New York metalcore band 36 Deadly Fists, with hits including “I Kill.”
17. 17 Crazyfists (featuring just under half the metal fury).
18. “Five-sided fistagon,” a epitet used by Rage Against the Machine to describe the Pentagon in “Bulls on Parade.”
19. Mr. Bungle, “Love is a Fist.” (Ask your momma about this one.)
20. Rancid’s “Crane Fist,” presumably a gutterpunk hand-to-hand combat technique.
21. Old maxim: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fist it.”
22. MEFISTO, an air-traffic control project.
23. Chief Crazyfist. (There’s a good chance we made this one up.)
24. Sepultura’s “Clenched Fist.”
25. Five Finger Death Punch’s War LP – number SEVEN on the Billboard album chart this week, motherfuckers.
26. The Foot Fist Way. Still haven’t seen it, but that Danny McBride dude is friggin’ genius as the belligerent sociopath jock in HBO’s Eastbound & Down, so check it out.
27. Pee Wee Fist, a Boston sextet unaffiliated with Paul Reuben.
28. 1977 Sylvester Stallone pro-union political drama F.I.S.T.
29. NWOBHM band Fist, from Tyneside, England.
30. Fist, rejected name for VH1’s Supergroup.
31. Supergroup lead guitatist Ted Nugent’s solo track “Fist Fightin’ Son Of a Gun.”
32. Marilyn Manson’s “Use Your Fist and Not Your Mouth” (ambiguously titled track from The Golden Age of Grotesque).
33. Anthrax debut LP Fistful of Metal, featuring future Nuclear Assault bassist Dan Lilker and soon-to-be-canned shrieker Neil Turbin.
34. Raise Your Fist and Yell, 1990 diehards-only Alice Cooper LP.
35. Kid Rock’s “Fist Of Rage” (edited version available at Wal-Mart).

– D.X. Ferris

D.X. Ferris is the author of 33 1/3: Reign in Blood, which documents the making of Slayer’s signature album. Learn more here, or e-mail a request to slayerbook AT gmail DOT com for a free chapter. Ferris says you can follow his bullshit fresh daily one Twitter.