Peter Benchley has spent the last 30 years apologizing for *JAWS* and working to improve public education and shark conservation. I want to know one thing: When do we Southerners get our apology for *Deliverance?* Speaking of preconceived notions, people all over the world know that movie and that scene and feel free to quote it to me at will – even people who don’t speak English! What IS so compelling about gay rape in a pastoral setting, and WHY do we Southerners get blamed??

By the way, like your avatar. I’m not watching the movie adaptation of *The A-Team* if Mister T doesn’t get to be in it – not even Jessica Biel gets to roll the van or something. (I don’t remember a woman being in that series, anyway, but whatever.)

At base, preconceived notions are just another way for people to classify data and organize their worldview, which is something we human beings are always trying to do. The problem comes in when people rely too much on hearsay, are not flexible when presented with conflicting evidence, and resist giving others the benefit of the doubt. I agree with your observation that most people don’t even know what their reputations are, which is weird when you consider that preconceived notions are often the products of gossip. Sociologists classify gossip as a tool of social control, so it doesn’t seem entirely logical for people to attempt to control your behavior by talking behind your back in such a manner as to make sure none of their grievances ever reach your ears. The calculate the difference between reason and logic, and then the conclusion follows that human beings attempt to employ both and always fail miserably.

The exception to this, of course, being people in the public eye. For a small-scale, immediate example, observe the treatment Dallas and Eyal get on this site. Whether people are generously offering their support and appreciation, evaluating their opinions on merit alone, or trashing them with impugnity, it must be really difficult to be constantly confronted with people’s opinions of you – good, bad, or indifferent. At least I get to schlep through life, comfortable in my illusion that most people couldn’t care less whether I come or go.

On a side note: what bothers me is the positive things people say about someone. People talk about you a lot, no matter who you are. They bitch about you, but they also praise you. The thing with reputations is that most of the time everybody but the person itself knows what’s being said about him/her. There’s too many people with low self-esteem. I think the world would be a better place if more people openly spoke about what they think of each other.

My family moved around every few years when I was a kid, so when we moved to the “North” (funny Virginians and their revisionist history) for my dad’s job I was treated differently because I spoke with a southern accent. It’s been great practice for a lifetime’s worth of prejudice, as many people hear a southern accent and assume ignorance, provincialism, and prejudice to start. Even today, I have to deal with people’s preconceived notions of who southerners are supposed to be, often informed by stereotypes perpetrated by the media and popular culture. (I don’t normally advocate violence, but I could KILL James Dickey for writing *Deliverance* and John Boorman for making it into a movie.) And then I faced much the same when I moved back down South, only this time the kids I went to school with had all known each other their whole lives, had never been anywhere or done anything outside the South, so I was perceived as “Other” and therefore dangerous, particularly by their parents who were afraid “the Yankee kid” would be a bad influence on their precious, innocent babies. (Of course, I WAS a bad influence, but that’s beside the point.)

I’ve dealt with people’s preconceived notions of who female soldiers are or should be (I answer to neither “bitch” nor “slut,” thank you very much, and everybody who ever told me I was too cute to wear the uniform was unintentionally insulting me AND all of my sisters in uniform), of what the interests of a professional working for a Fortune 500 company should or should not be (see following), whether or not I fit the stereotype for skating roller derby (see preceding), AND I apparently bust nearly all stereotypes of a woman obsessed with metal music (too overwhelming to decide where to start with that one, but then you guys probably know them all better than I do so I figure I don’t have to explain myself, anyway).

And so on.

Having been compared my whole life to a porcelain doll, I can tell you that perception carries its advantages and disadvantages. Life experience has taught me to give people a fair chance, regardless of whether or not those same people extend the same courtesy to me, and doing so has opened me up to meeting some really amazing people in some really unexpected places. But by the same token, it has also opened me up to some situations whereby I might not have been hurt as bad as I was, had I paid a little more mind to people’s warnings. It’s been a mixed bag, for sure.

/I’m fluent in nerd. It’s like a second language to me.