FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN THE FALL OF TROY’S NEW CD IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT
Thursday, October 8th, 2009 at 4:30pm by Vince Neilstein
Congrats to the winners of last week’s funny photo caption contest, each of whom will receive a copy of Revolver’s all-Slayer special edition issue in the mail. The winners and their captions to the photo at right:
- LEGIONS:iron and steel: “Varg Vikernes is exonerated when Euronymous’ real killer is revealed to be Chris Benoit.”
- \m/Eluveitie\m/: “This is why Eyal doesn’t bring up his Navy days in his blog.”
- Insomnivore: “Vinnie Vincent fails to hold onto image rights during talks with Gene’s Lawyer.”
- Skanes: “Juggal’OWNED.”
- Shiggy Shack: “Amidst the raging headlock of death, a young wrestler ponders haikus, quantum physics, and why axe deodorant does not attract women.”
This week we’re giving away three copies of The Fall of Troy’s new CD In The Unlikely Event, which just came out this week. Fall of Troy are an incredibly talented art-metal / post-hardcore band whom we don’t talk about nearly enough on this website. All you need to do to win is come up with a caption to the below photo and enter it (using a valid email address) in the comments section below.
Um, I don’t know about caption, but best cake ever.
this isn’t even a reply. i just want everyone to know that i’ve been a big Fall of Troy fan…but this cd is actually horrible. i don’t even think a clever caption is worth it. and i’m not some message board asshole. i warned you.
I highly agree….this is one of my favorite bands…and this cd was a huge let down…first 2 or three tracks are great but this album defintly does NOT sum up fall of troy…I am just letting you guys know…but if it’s for free then sell it to your friends!
Ditto to ugly microwave, the first two albums are amazing (more so the first one) unlike this one.
Happy Birthday Odin.
evidently this black metal fan is not tr00 with the white frosting in all
lol that’s pretty good.
Abbath did not get what he expected when he just for ice and frost on his birthday cake.
MIsspelling! Will repost the CORREXT comment in a sec.
What the fuck!? A REAL black metal cake would have BLACK FROSTING!
This was obviously created by a poser.
The Fall of Troy fucking sucks. No matter what happens, do not give me a copy of that CD.
my vote for win
seconded
I hope you win out of spite.
Happy Black Metal Birthday from Immortal.
Cool. I always wanted a birthday cake with the Legion of Doom on it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT A RUSH!
Sons of Northern Cakeness.
Abbath did not get what he expected when he asked for just ice and frost on his birthday cake.
Grim and frostbitten…ice cream cake?
they don’t make power ranger cakes in Norway
LOL, I don’t know why i think this is so funny!
hah this ones awesome
This has to win.
This cake is the reason Jon Nödtveidt killed himself.
DAMMNit i asked for black raspberry, not black metal ass fairies
Gahhl’s dream of the ultimate wedding cake topper…
Call Of The Birthday Cake
It may look like a regular cake, but this cake is AN ABOMINATION IN DEFIANCE OV GOD.
THis is actually KISS in ten years…
Fully pleased with the design on their wedding cake, Voltemort and Orlork are left to hope there is enough cake to go around to their guests here at Tavern ov the Void catering hall.
We’re getting you the best birthday gift ever….NOTHINGGGGGGGG!
The official poorly drawn KISS wrestling cake. That looks a retarded version of KISS if they joined the WWE.
The sweetest black metallers in the world.
And instead of hiring a clown or a magician they hired The Meads of Asphodel, and they ate all of the children.
This is the cake that the Black Metal dude from the Funny Photo Caption Contest from two weeks ago ate. He must of had a bad reaction.
gayest. cake. ever.
that takes the cake…
there is absolutely nothing funny about this. this is the pinnacle of human existence.
This person speaks the truth!
He should win.
I agree with kbo-Ziltoid. This guy should win.
Diabolical Full-Fat Monstrosity
Grim and frostbitten birthday party.
now everybody knows Dimmu Borgir’s failed attempts in culinary school
Happy Birthday Rich Hallford, we new you liked men all along.
“SHUT THAT SHIT BITCH! (guy in back), oh fuck…(guy in front) YOU ALMOST MADE ME MISS MY NUT!(guy in back)”
fruit cake
do you smell what the rock is cookin?!?! …….. its a cake!
Little Bobby’s parents looked on in dismay, when instead of cutting his birthday cake he proceeded to fuck it with a chainsaw.
Demonaz just had to out do his arch rival Cookie Puss. Tom Carvel was murdered shortly after the creation of this cake
That was the most Br00tal Wedding Ever.
I hope there marriage goes better then there album
This has nothing to do with the contest, but I once asked Abbath about those pictures in 1999, you know, because I thouth they were joking, and it went something like this:
EJ: So, Those pictures are really toungue in cheek..
Abbath: What do you mean?
EJ: Yeah, I mean, they are so over the top..
Abbath: We are demons. Demons From the North.
EJ: Oh.
i asked for a normal white frosting cake not an immortal white frosting cake.
I smell facecake!
Just one of many popular ice cream cake designs from Burzum Robbins.
(forgot to log in)
Jack Black ordered 200 of these to celebrate the release of Brutal Legend, but requested his nipples be placed higher on his chest in the future.
Celtic Frost-ing
I fuckin lol’d.
win
FTW
Food Network’s Ace Of Cakes handles the Gaahl wedding
The bakery at Norway’s Wal Mart is going all grim and frostbitten this Halloween.
Come on, what else was Euronymus supposed to do with the rest of Deads body? The stew was good, but now it’s time for dessert!
When good chefs go rad.
The day that black metal met Professional wrestling, the celebration began
Proof that Gene Simmons will put KISS on anything
Godammit, I said Devil’s Food Cake! Now I look like an idiot!
Secret ingredients – dead ravens, permafrost and misanthropy.
Black Metal’s First Gay Wedding
King Diamond celebrates his 60th birthday
Dimmu Borgir open up their first cake making business aptly named Creammu Borgir. Their debut cake, “Enthrone Sweetness Triumphant” gets rave reviews in the cake decorating business
Betty Crocker was a Black Metal rocker.
So many good captions.
Abbath and Horgh finally tie the knot… tr00ly.
Grim And Frosting-Smeared Kingdoms
THE MOST FROSTBITTEN OF ALL FROSTINGS!
The cake from the Rosenberg-Neilstein commitment ceremony
Goatwhore team up with dessert giant to produce their finest offering to date, Carvel Out The Eyes Of God
puns aren’t funny
When you win 3 of the last 4 photo contests, you can tell me what is and isn’t funny
does that mean i’m not allowed to tell you that you’re funny?
You can say whatever you’d like about me, just don’t tell me how to do my business.
Two things:
1) Puns ARE funny.
2) I just want to point out that I won the 1 of 4 that \m/Eluveitie\m/ because I’m proud of that. You are a worthy opponent (who’s probably better than me), Eluveite!
I bow to you Mr. Nuggets
Pshaw! I bow to you! You are my caption hero!
May all your captions bring chuckles my brother!
Sonny the Seal, you thought he was real, $49.95 oh what a deal, it’s SONNY!!!!
Ryan Adam’s birthday cake.
Immortal’s Mexican counterpart “Immortale” is seen here on this White black Metal frosted cake.
Happy Deathday
When you cut it, the cake bleeds black frosting!
After finally agreeing to tie the knot, Gaahl and his hubby decided to go with this delicious cake depicting the two lovers in all of their br00tal glory. Unfortantely, the wedding was cancelled after the black metal legend burned the church to the ground.
what a poser. troo kvlt cakes have real people on them, not just people drawn on with icing.
i call the crotch piece
White frosting ist KRIEG!!!!!!
“Grim and Frosting-topped Cakedoms?”
“Full round-cake Diabolical deliciousism ”
“Pure Cakocaust?”
“At the Heart of Frosting?”
“Battles in the Cake?”
“Frosted in Black?”
” DQ BLIZZARD BEASTS” YESSSS
take any of these as captions lol
i dont want any of them
: (
This guy wins hands down
Grim and Frosting-topped Cakedoms ftw.
Metal Sucks editior is too busy sucking cock to realize how funny this guy is
Yo yo we immortal and we all frosty and shit
Buy this cake to impress your bitch
We thought metal was kool but rap is now our tool
the point is to reach the kiddies all kvlt you fool.
that pic kinda looks like crabcore meets black metal. this worries me. :(
why haven’t you had sex with me yet
“I want the piece with the shin guard.”
well, i want the codpiece.
Don’t forget to to grab a piece of cake and a your glass of goats blood
Have a BLASPHEMOUS birthday!
One by one, we cake your lives!
ahahaha YES
An attempt to think “outside-of-the-box” by the advertising division of Pagan Records results in yet another epic failure.
Happy birthday Varg
Cover art for the new Immortal album “Cake Metal”
As black and metal as the frosting is… sadly it was white and fluffy on the inside just like the little birthday boy
gah someone already made an Immortal comment – okay, heregoes – “Can you design my cake with two metal guys on it? I’m looking for Mr. Lovehandles and emo-looking Geezer Butler.”
a surprise birthday cake for axl and metalsucks, only sent 2 months early!!!
That’s not a black metal cake, that’s Gene Simmons next step in his 1999 – Point Plan to make KISS the biggest sell-outs of all time, next step: Putting KISS on an episode of Scooby-Doo… Oh wait…
looks like norweigan libre
The not-so ambigiously gay duo
the only cake where you have to eat around metal studs
The only problem with this is that thy gave these guys tans…
If they were their proper skin tone, they’d blend into the icing like Wesley Snipes at a glow-in-the-dark mini golf
ohhhhhhhhhhh. damn.
I will not partake. The supposed “new Fall of Troy CD” is more like a giant steaming pile of shit than a CD. Time to throw my Fall of Troy shirt in the garbage. I’m ashamed of these guys now.
Really? I think it’s awesome. What don’t you like about it?
It just seems half-assed. It seems like they are just trying to get on the radio with poppy vocals and bad melodies. I guess the guitar work is still kind of there in some places, but it just lacks zazz.
After death Demonaz and Abbath find them selves trapped forever inside Circle 9 of Hell: a prison constructed entirely from the frothy psuedo-sugars of a Dairy Queen cake.
Kvlt, frost, and tr00 wrapped into one.
That had better be Devil’s Food Cake.
a cake most grim and frostingbitten…
None-More-Black Forest Cake
INVISIBLE SANDWICH!
……. now available in cake edition
Would be awesome to buy this cake for someone and shove their face into it when the went to blow out the candles. Then, the fire and wax would melt their skin and you could have a wax flesh cake. What’s more fucking tr00, br00tal, and kvlt than that?
Also, no black frosting, -50 black metal points.
Little do you all know, but under that white frosting is a 40 pound slab of solid steel, therefore still making it the most metal cake ever.
mmmmmmmmmmortal
Think you forgot an “i.”
HOW DID WE BECOME CAKE? THIS IS NOT GRYM, ESPECIALLY WITH THIS FRILLY TRIM AROUND US!
till grim do us part
Finally Varg Vikernes has another stab at Euronymous
Is Black metal marriage legal in canada?
Immortal needs new PR
I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I feel sending a magazine to the other side of the world (Scotland, in my case) would be a bit excessive, so how about you send it to the first person to reply to this comment? I can always buy it at Borders or something.
The ritual is complete. I now have Hamburger Helper hands. Hail Satan!
Icing’d Earth: Baked Offerings
Archive Photo: Preparations for the ceremonial after-party, due to Demolition winning the 1988 WWF World TagTeam Championship
HAHAHA…. That’s pretty good
FROSTING-BITTEN REALM OF CURSED WINTER DEMONS.
As a testament to her superior cake-frosting technique, Betty was actually able to make Immortal look LESS corny.
happy birthday to “hombres de muerto muy Grim” aka jose suarez and lil pepe, the mexican bandito wrestlers.
Grim and FROSTED-bitten Cakedom.
The first step to signing Azathoth’s black book is to eat a cake with his most loyal servants pictured on it… Long live the Outer Gods!
MASTERS OF NEBULAH FROSTING
The original Devil’s Food Cake.
Black Metal’s edible answer to DaVinci’s “The Vitruvian Man”.
DONT WANT
“Can my piece have Necrobutchers crotch please!?”
I was at this party…..Needless to say, I passed on the cake…
“This is the most metal thing I’m gonna fuck”
I laughed
The new Blashyrkh Mighty Ice Cream Cake, available at all grim and frostbitten Dairy Queen locations!
Obama’s secret birthday cake
Nacho Libre and Belphegor had a love child. This is its birthday cake.
Grim and Buttercream Frostingbitten.
Baker – “Mr. Abbath, how would you like your birthday cake?”
Abbath – “BLACKER THAN DARKNESS…..or vanilla if you don’t mind”
“MOM! I SAID RED SHIN GUARDS!”
Barely able to keep the portal open, Crucifix is able to muster up the strength to allow his girlfriend to pass through into the third dimension.
Where the hell did they find a photo op of Immortal with non pasty white skin?
wow KISS will put there ugly asses on anything
hooray for mexican kiss
before you die…
you see the ring 2…
before you die… you see the ring 2…
“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, While I jizz in this cake, I’ll be thinking of you. Gene Simmons”
Remember kids, The cake is a lie.
I want a girl with a short skirt and a longggggg….oh wait, I’m Gaahl.