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Please Kill Me

THAT’S NOT REAL, IS IT?!?!?!

 Thursday, October 8th, 2009 at 12:30pm by

I saw this on Stuff You Will Hate today. I think it’s fake. I hope it’s fake. I can’t find any mention of it on the Boss website. Or anywhere else. Christ, this had better be fake.

crabcorepedalAlso:

crabcore

-AR

Tags: ,
  • Sammy

    It’s not fake. When you press the button, it makes your pants feel 30 pounds heavier in the ass, causing your legs to spread and your butt to almost hit the floor. And it causes your guitar to sound like shit.

    • http://www.myspace.com/ihopeyourot DemiGod

      It’s on sale at MusiciansFriend, comes with glowsticks to twirl around for the techno sections during Attack! Attack! songs.

    • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

      I thought the burritos from Chipotle were doing that.

      • Edika

        Ha! Very nice and well put!

  • d00shc00gr

    Not a fake. I already bought one. I’m gonna be crab-slamming 14-year-old scene girls in no time WOOOOO!!!

    • Johnny

      +1 to that one

  • http://www.gamesmeetmetal.com Gamesmeetmetal.com

    So where’s the pedal for the rhino-core sect? I call PREJUDICE!

  • dicknballs

    Mr. Crabs is totally metal \m/

  • Caspar Colderson

    you coined a term, and now you’ll have to live it for a very long time…

  • http://stuffyouwillhate.com SergeantD

    Turn the CRAB up to 11, bust the trance breakdowns, and get this motherfuckin PARTY STARTED!!

  • Alaskan King Crabcore

    It exists.

    Because I created it.

  • Kuranes

    The pedal should have been designed so that you could press it with your ass when you’re at the lowest part of the crab motion.

    • Glenn

      1

  • Ben

    Axl, if you really have any doubt that that’s fake you’re a tard.

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Most crabcore guitarists are gonna be uncomfortable with such a small input hole

  • Ziltoid

    XD, that Mr. Krabs picture is win.

  • max

    i like the crab nob for MAXIMUM CRAB!

  • Hu3yL3w1sandTh3Fac3l3ss

    If this is real I would like to take a second to quote Patton Oswalt.

    “Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys.”

  • John

    It always astounds me how stupid the scene can actually get.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

  • Ryan

    Why is the input arrow pointing the other way?

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Because that’s the direction you insert the cable, all pedals are like that

    • bagel

      because that’s where you *put* your cable *in*…..

      • \m/Eluveitie\m/

        Coming from someone named “bagel”, I’d take your word for it. You probably have a lot of experience *putting* things *in*, so I’m gonna listen to your answer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Wolfson/557092638 Dan Wolfson

    Why is there no one named Mr. Krabscore?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrea-Voulgaris/663407462 Andrea Voulgaris

    they should make a crabcore metronome. i’d so buy it. i need a new metronome anyway and dr. beat costs waaaaayyyyy too much.

  • Master Chah

    Lul…This was so out of the ordinary and terrible that you had to make a new category for it?

  • SourDeez

    Boyfriend not included.

  • DaylightReckoning

    Mr. Krab = Clancy Brown = Kurrgan from Highlander = FUCKING METAL AS FUCK!!! /../,

  • Beereded

    Mr. Crab is way more metal than crabcore bands.

    • Beereded

      *Krabs

  • uLy

    i spit out my drink when i saw this. way too funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason Crispen

    i remember DOD put out a Grunge pedal and Death Metal pedal, so this one’s not entirely far off.

    • SourDeez

      Yeah it is. Most Death Metal has a specific guitar sound, as does most Grunge. Crabcore has no original defining characteristics, especially when it comes to guitar tone.

  • Beereded

    Or how about the Unremarkable Voyage episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Any time they mention or do anything involving Carl’s crabs is just hilarious.