Comments on: WIN A PAIR OF MASTODON VANS SHOES!

By: Michel Giroux-Burroughs

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:36:30 +0000

Dude… this contest ended like… a month ago…

By: Brandon Guimbellot

Brandon Guimbellot — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:27:59 +0000

I believe I should score these shoes because I’m a bassist,
and we all know bassists don’t get attention in the band unless
they cheat and take the spot as lead vocalist.

So with these kicks I can not only get the attention of the fans,
but win over all of the ladies instantly with the impressive Mastodon.
Which I can then lie and say I paid to have them custom made which
make it appear as though I have a lot of money.

Dude, chicks want nothing more than Mastodon and money.

By: Julius

Julius — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:48:13 +0000

What is Mastodon? If you gave me the shoes I’ll have a reason to learn about them…

By: Dace Laucina

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:41:51 +0000

as I am one of Mastodon’s fans, i should have theese shoes.

By: Micheal Vanderven

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:43:40 +0000

I deserve these shoes because I’m wearing rubber boots.. and rubber boots arnt metal.. they’re french canadian… JEAN GUY RUBBERBOOTAAAAAHHH

By: Alexis

Alexis — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:28:26 +0000

well, i think i deserve these shoes cuz i had a white pair of old converse, but some smart dog decided to pee on them while i was waiting for the bus
now i’ve been wearing cheap, ugly walmart shoes for the last 2 weeks, and i think ive had enough, im not going to impress girls with PLASTIC RUNNING SHOES!!!!
so, i could take the converse into consideration, but id rather not wear urinated shoes; thats why i think i deserve these shoes :D

By: truckules

truckules — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 05:24:32 +0000

Long ago, in the future, in a much simpler age, lived a farrier. He was a simple man of simple means, living by the sweat of his brow and the callous on his hands. He led a mundane life forging chrome horse-shoes for the Slaughterhorses of Meta-King Evisceraymond, Harbinger of the Burning Blight. Evisceraymond wasn’t necessarily his first-choice employer, but in the tyrannical job market of the futurepast beggars can’t be choosers (and everyone not employed by Evisceraymond, or Visceray as he’s known amongst friends, are actually beggars). So the humble farrier got by, day by day, forging chrome relics of unfathomable power with his bare hands like every other ordinary citizen of Killgaard.
Evisceraymond ruled over all of Killgaard with brutality fitting of the man who ravaged the Dread Warlock Nekronomijohn, Envoy of Cadaveronald: Heathen Beast of The BlackDark. In the third war of the second war, a great battle was fought between Evisceraymond’s Dread Cadavalry and the would-be liberators, the Paladins of the Shining Song – Overbishop Clarion’s personal honor guard. The armies did battle for nigh a milleniday till at last both the Overbishop slew the Meta-King. Yet the Bishop was no saint and enslaved all of Killgard forcing them to build a tower to the throne of the Light Father of All-Being. The blacksmith, having hidden himself from the Overbishop with the Forest of the Screaming Hell-elms, decided to rebel against Clarion. He had heard of a legend of four men of mammoth-like proportions that lived far past the Goreizon in the Land of Blood Mountains. He traveled far across the Barbed Wire Fields of Razoregon, past the Bleeding Sea, home of the Fleshrending Terricuddas, and beyond the great Bone Harrow Gate of Femurder. He finally reached the great Thunderforge of the warriors of legend. They called themselves Mastodon, and as he told them of the plight of Killgaard they wept tears of pure quicksilver. The warriors summoned their mighty Slammoth and ventured forth with the blacksmith to free Killgaard. The blacksmith forged the warriors mighty weapons of ironsteel, the strongest substance known throughout the many-verse. With weapons drawn, the heroes stormed the Overbishop’s sky tower. They slew his Paladins and rained firesleet down from the heavens with their chops too righteous. They confronted Clarion in his palace, but his holy conviction proved too mighty for the warriors. The blacksmith, seeing the plight of the warriors, gave them the last weapon he had, his steel toed worker boots. The heroes tossed the boot into the heavens and it began to crack the skye, raining steel-toed oblivion down on the Overbishop. As Clarion’s body was forcefully separated from his soul, his tower fell apart – freeing the people of Killgaard. The Warriors thanked the farrier for his help in vanquishing the Overbishop and asked him if he wanted something in return. He made only one request: a pair of the very steel-toed boots that slew the holy hellion. Seeing the irony that the farrier shod horses for a living but remained unshod himself, the mighty . I know this tale well, friends, for the farrier and I are one and the same.

By: shoe-wanter

shoe-wanter — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:33:21 +0000

I really need these shoes because i think they would look alot better then my 10 dollar wal-mart shoes.
i want these shoe 567363947827409384932858247305784560283750937858927358328273592405873468078346902478673048257820836748264803750235788437695802735092318582590482905684359839583583895475649285738025479235283572 and a half times more then anyone on here!. :D

By: MetalMeatHammer

MetalMeatHammer — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:24:55 +0000

…oh and I hate Ziltoid

By: Sean On Drums

Sean On Drums — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:38:18 +0000

I deserve these shoes because I live in fuckin’ China. Not much metal down here, except for that one local band Huang Xia Liang!!!!!! I don’t think I’ll be seeing Mastodon anytime soon, but maybe I could spread the word with the magical Mastodon kicks!

Plus I wear vans whilst I drum, and the legendary Brann Dailor inspired me to pick up sticks so…

Please send me a pair of those bad ass kicks so I can pretend Mastodon signed them and feel ultra cool!

By: Some Random Dude

Some Random Dude — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:52:50 +0000

*peoples mouths

By: Some Random Dude

Some Random Dude — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:52:33 +0000

That would be abusing my power and taking food from people mouths. i am dissapointed in you.

By: Farhaad Esfandiary

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:17:59 +0000

Make them a pity prize for me please. I lost my kick ass music industry job, about to lose my apartment and something tells me my fiance isn’t too happy with me right now, so she’ll probably be gone soon, too.

By: zaaaaaaaa

zaaaaaaaa — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:18:33 +0000

Well, I need these shoes because, i’m in the marching band, and i am so hardcore that i wore through all my other shoes except my custom All-Stars. I had made them in art class by taking the Remission album cover and spray painting it on my ‘verse. They were my only treasure and a cherished them so very much. Well one day I was walking in the mall parking lot when I was hit by a car. I rolled up the hood and cracked the glass…well, when I awoke, my shoes were gone!!! I was freaking tha fuck out! I ran for the first person I saw and yelled, “Give me my shoes!!!!!”, and sucker punched his jaw. Well, needless, to say, while i was being arrested, that was the wrong thing to do. Well now I have nothing to wear to the Mastadon-Dethklok concert in the House of Blues in Dallas, so please, throw me a damn bone and give me those TOATLY badass shoes!!!

By: givethisgirltheshoesdammit

givethisgirltheshoesdammit — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:14:46 +0000

I need them to compliment my lucious 34D rack.

By: Kacy Tatus

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:23:06 +0000

I believe I should get the shoes because last week a crack head in Flint broke my van window and stole my shitty gps (That sounded like Dr. Alan Grant from Jurassic Park) and because of how much I had to pay to get the window fixed I don’t have enough money to get gasoline to make it to the Mastodon show in Detroit next week. Even if I did have enough money I don’t think I could get there without step by step directions telling me when to get on the motorway or turn right at valasa raptor. Also my boyfriend is Jewish, that has to count for something.

By: MetalMeatHammer

MetalMeatHammer — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:02:24 +0000

Anyone who calls themselves “B-rad” deserves to die anyways. Long live Clutch

By: Willifer Gingernigz Rich

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:40:00 +0000

HE SHALL DIE, BY THE POWER OF MY BURNING BEARD!

By: nuno cal

nuno cal — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:09:50 +0000

I wanna be the next Elephant Man by using this Mastodon Vans to kill the March Of The Fire Ants.

By: thomas wallace

thomas wallace — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 08:03:03 +0000

i need those shoes cause i just spent the last of my money on a mastodon/dethklok ticket. and you know i gotta be lookin good for all those weird hippie/metal chicks at the show. plus i kinda look like spicoli and we all know spicoli needs those slip ons.