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Music Dorkery

I WONDER HOW FAST HIS HAND MOVES WHEN HE MASTURBATES?

 Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 at 10:30am by

We hate these displays of pure speed because they lack heart and show only athletic-like, my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours abilities. We fucking love this kind of shit because it’s awesome!! You can tell this one hasn’t been doctored because the guy in the background’s movements clearly aren’t sped up. Long live shred.

-VN

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  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    I’m faster, and just as talentless as the guy in the video. Who looks strangely like a juggalo that used to go to my school. He was in the LD classes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hulsey/653830783 David Hulsey

    FUCK! My wrist would have snapped at 260 bpm!

  • hellboar

    EMGs ARE the best…

  • Brutalzier

    This is years old. Get with the now Vince, you goofy bastard.

  • farts

    Who cares.

  • Dave D

    The guitarist from disturbed can shred better!!!!!!11

    • TXHellbilly

      Disturbed blows dogs for quarters

  • CARTER

    he kinda sucks

  • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

    that’s redonkulous.

  • orbital

    is this a joke?

  • Paul

    Amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t have a job or a girlfriend.

  • WowWee!

    Come on now… We all know Early is the fastest guitar player.

    http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c392181768f80118196dc41600d1

    • Master Chah

      This video made me lol

  • Facebook User

    i’d much rather watch somebody play fast that’s playing actual riffs…not some dopey malmsteen fan who just makes a bunch of stupid noise

    dave mustaine > this asshole

    • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

      FAIL

  • SP420

    Shred can be cool. However, this is not. This is just stupid and a waste of time. He could have no musical creativity.

  • matt

    SMUG FAT DUDES RULE

  • Gunnar

    Flight of the Bumblebees wasn’t really meant to show any sort of emotion in the first place, to his credit.

    Just wish he hadn’t palm muted everything. Probably a very noisy player.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Abhimanyu-Ghoshal/517045654 Abhimanyu Ghoshal

    this is so annoying to listen to… no wonder he’s not famous otherwise. He’s got no feel, he’s boring and this is what gives shred a bad name.

  • matt

    i’ll admit it is fucken fast playing and more props to him for the skill, but like others were saying his cocky attitude says it all, the song itself sounds like a symphony x song but i’m not sure. Either way the song he’s playing is’nt probably his own, someone else’s so he may have that shitty smirk on his face but he’s not getting the money, props or fame for writing it so he can piss off

    • Gunnar

      How do you not know what song this is?

  • sven

    The riff really didn’t sound any better past 260 BPM, but I would definitely pay money to see this if he played it wearing a bumblebee costume.

  • myke

    i think he was bakin a turd while he was @ it too

  • Sammy

    I saw this when it came out, and my thoughts haven’t changed. Impressiveness and boring are not mutually exclusive.

  • fightingmike

    Wow, he can play 1 song really fast. Boring as hell!

  • Shane

    You people don’t know what song that is…?

  • steverazor

    That was amazing! What the f**k is wrong with you people – internet comment sections make me crazy.

  • thatONEguy

    @ TXHellbilly says:
    “Disturbed blows dogs for quarters”

    EVERYONE AND THERE MOM KNOWS THAT!!…Why do you think they have kennels instead of beds in there tour bus!?

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      You can hit the “reply” button, @ing people is obsolete. Get with the times brother.

  • thatONEguy

    @ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    “I’LL DO WHATEVER I PLEASE CHILD!”

    -PS-YOUR JUST LIKE DISTURBED!

  • SourDeez

    Wow, flight of the bumblebee. I don’t think anyone has ever used that song to show off how fast they can play an instrument. This guy is truly a pioneer.

  • skip

    i dont think he has time for masturbating with guitar speed like that!

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    @thatONEguy

    ” ‘YOU’RE’, CHILD!”

    -PS-WELL IF I’M DISTURBED, YOU’RE LINKIN PARK

  • anselmowitz

    Nice, fats can shred. I can’t play that shit let alone above 260, but I will throw in a snide jealous comment about his guitar tone being shite for actual playing (seems to be set up just for the pick attack at high speeds).

  • Nick

    “Flight Of The Bumblebee” may be a good song to use when going for speed, but isn’t a good indicator of a guitarist’s style or overall proficiency. Tiago Della Vega is more than just raw speed; his playing may not be for everyone, but I suggest you check it out before you make a verdict based on this kind of fret run.

  • The Hate Machine

    That guy is a fuckin bad ass and dissing him is pure ignorance. I have seen other video of that guy actually playing some ripping metal and he owns you all including me. Internet bashers piss me off too. The 21st century has brought us the armchair warriors but they only have digital balls instead of real ones. That video was showing a skill level that most will never achieve. Fuckin kids these days have no respect for anyone or anything.

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Bring him back when he can play A Million Miles Away by Rory Gallagher or Texas Flood by Stevie Ray Vaughan, something that requires emotion. Then we’ll talk talent, because that display contained zero.

    • SourDeez

      No one is knocking the guy’s entire body of work, just this one particular douchebaggy performance. I could smell water and vinegar listening to this, that’s how douchey this performance is. Also, I will go out on a limb and say that most solo electric guitar pieces over 5 minutes long = boring, no matter how good the player is. I want to hear riffs, I want to hear the guitar woven in the tapestry of sounds instead of constantly on the forefront, I want to hear quick leads that smoke and I want to hear a guitar solo that kicks my ass but lasts its proper length: about a minute. I never got into shred because to me it’s strange to hear someone play one mere element of music, the solo, for an entire song.

  • Fuck You

    This guy has nothing on Joey from Manowar’s Flight of the Bumblebee…on fucking bass bitch!!!