HORSE THE BLOG (PART 3): LORD GOLD ON THE REPETITION OF LIFE ON THE ROAD
Monday, October 19th, 2009 at 1:30pm by MetalSucks
[Horse the Band are currently on tour supporting their new album Desperate Living (full stream here!). Keyboardist Lord Gold (his mommy calls him Erik) is recording their current road trek for posterity in this here MetalSucks blog. Entry 3 follows (read Entry 1 and Entry 2). -Ed.]
What has happened in the past week. I don’t remember. I have watched a lot of plants go by through the window and also watched the sky for a very long time while listening to the song “Eskimo Snow” on repeat. There have been some inspirational cloud formations where I thought “yes, life is worth living.”
One night we made a lot of money and people were going insane and I didn’t hate them and I felt very happy and excited because I knew I could make the minimum payment on my credit cards before we went to Europe and still have money left over. The next night we played next to A Day to Remember in San Diego and their show had pre-sold 2,400 tickets. I thought about how their guarantee for the show was probably $25000 and they would sell another $30000 of merch so after expenses each member of the band would probably make $5000 minimum in one night and that would happen every night for a month. I felt sad. If I could be in that band for 3 days I could pay off my credit card bill and have a fresh start in life at 28. It would be funny to pay off 8 years of band induced financial failure in 3 days.
That night our show had 6 local bands.
I think we drove like 3000 miles this week.
I think I would describe the state of music today as “clowns who sell clothing to people.”
Seriously writing your band’s name, the name of the tour you’re on, and the year it occurred on the wall in the back room of venues every night with a Sharpie seems like “the stupidest thing I have ever heard of in my life.” It is like, misjudging the historical relevance of your life on a previously unimaginable scale.
We are driving in the Central Valley of California. It is really flat and the sky is brown with no clouds.
Seems like all the farms here got “fucked up” somehow. Everything is dead. I think there is some sort of political issue with water. They can’t farm or something cause someone diverted their water for something else. Now there are signs that say “Congress Created Dust Bowl”. I think they are trying to appeal to “the kid in all of us” who had to read The Grapes of Wrath. I saw the farmers on TV in Fresno. They looked like they knew they were on TV and were trying to look somber/angry as if they were at a protest on TV, because they were recording it at home (fingers crossed). The first time I drove here I felt slightly enraged that the government fucked them and possibly brought it up in a conversation to people I didn’t know very well for some reason. Just now I realized I do not care at all.
I want someone to make a Venn diagram of “people whose opinions are objectively wrong”, “people who think their opinions are right”, “people who value other people’s opinions”, “people who tell their opinions to other people”, and “people with an IQ above 150″. Then make everyone in the world have to look at it every day when they wake up and answer questions about it.
Sometimes people say “man you did that crazy world tour, what was that like?”. Then you say, “haha, I don’t know, it was pretty crazy, fun” as their eyes glaze over. Possibly they make it to the next question “where was like the craziest place you went?” Then you smile and say “I don’t know, probably China… Moldova?” They have never heard of Moldova and you see their brain do a restart. A little bit of fear. They say “man, I would love to do something like that” and do what they have seen on TV as a “meaningful head nod” and you think about nothing and look into a wall at nothing, smiling nervously. “Yeah man.”
Then that person goes back to their dorm room and reviews your album about the ecstacy of total life failure and depravity, and writes “nostalgic bleeps and bloops” or Nintendo or keyboards or something, 8 bit samples and memories of Megaman, sends it to their editor (probably a Senior), updates their facebook status, and reads something by Bret Easton Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk in a visible location.
-LG
Well, that’s it for me. I have given this dude’s blog a few entries and I really tried to like it. I have now decided that I would rather stab myself in the face with a chainsaw than read it anymore….
I agree. Anything this dude says goes in one ear and out the other. His band sucks too. More EYAL!!!!
>o((((°>
I think Ziltoid fits squarely in the middle of the “people whose opinions are objectively wrong”, “people who think their opinions are right”, and “people who tell their opinions to other people” area of the aforementioned Venn diagram.
As always, a weird, random, stream-of-consciousness blog from Lord Gold… and I would expect no less. Shine on, you crazy diamond.
such mindless rambling that actually makes sense…hilarious
HORSE the band still sucks tho….
You know something? You suck.
dude…if u like HORSE….u suck everydays dick
there only good cd was R.bolax then the whole ” we still have a nintendo so lets use the soundbits from it and make heavy music” thing ran out a LONGGGG time ago.
u probably like dragonforce too.
Everyday is not a person. And I fucking hate Dragonforce.
I fucking love Horse the Band and they kill live.
Time to go and suck Everyday’s dick.
im not gonna lie not a horse the band fan but i liked this
Interesting, no bullshit approach to a road journal leaning towards the pessimistic side of things. Great read.
“updates their facebook status, and reads something by Bret Easton Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk in a visible location.”
That shit is funny, I love “that guy.”
Someone, somewhere, read that, said “Ouch,” wondered how he knew, and then surreptitiously checked their blinds and door locks.
the guy who reads? yeah I hate him too
or wait read it but didn’t read it as cool as you did?
I get it man. everyone sucks right?
Who gives a fuck.
I think I would describe the state of music today as “clowns selling who sell clothing to people.” Yep, that about sums it up man.
I like this guy’s blog. More from him, please.
I love reading this stuff.
Does any thought go into these meaningless rants? I guess some people around here enjoy your rambling, but I will no longer waste my time losing brain cells by reading this bullshit. Do you know why you’re broke? Because your band has no mass appeal whatsoever; I’m all for musical integrity, creating art the way you want to create art, shying away from the mainstream, etc., but it seems like you got into the business thinking you’d make $5,000 or whatever a night, living the dream. Instead, you’re apparently miserable most of the time and the most significant part of your day is snorting coke or writing HorseTheBand on a wall in some shithole venue that holds 200 people.
So, tell me again, why does this guy get a blog?
Dude, they self-financed a world tour. They made something like a hundred bucks in over a year. This is a band that completely sacrificed their own financial success and well-being so that they could play for people who rarely ever get to see an amp, let alone watch a band perform. And HORSE the Band has a pretty dedicated fanbase. So basically, no.
msv81 please go back to reading comprehension in 8th grade thank you
you’re too cynical to understand msv81, appreciate or gtfo
your argument became about paper money…who gives a shit about that….horse the band blows but if they wanna do what they do good for them….at least money is the least concerns….eventho evenutally they’re gonna fail and owe thousands of dollars in debt….cuz they blow
but hey they like what they do right?
These are the best.
The fuck is wrong with this guy is he about to commit suicide or something? Sounds depressed as shit.
Nope he read your ass kissing comment in the Metallica haters Blog.
Tool.
“There have been some inspirational cloud formations where I thought “yes, life is worth living.”
This guy should blow out his fucking brains all over the rest of the horse dick eaters in the van and get it over with.
monomate monomate monomate
I have a question, Lord Gold. Would you be content to play mass-appealing screamo-pop like ADTR because the money would be good? Or would you have pangs of remorse, realizing that you could be pushing boundaries?
this is kinda weird considering i was just listening to a day to remember
and im sure people are gonna go all you suck, you listen to shitty pop metal ect.
but i dont really give a fuck
they’re good at what they do
and they accomplish what they wanted to do in making catchy music with screaming and breakdowns
also
its a shame that you(lord gold)
make so little money from this
Gotta say that this is pretty damn good. I’m a fan of random stream of thoughts writing. Very insightful into the real aspects of what goes on in someones head.
GO LORD GOLD!
I really enjoy this blog actually. Very honest, funny and insightful.
All this guy does is bitch about being on tour. Boo fucking woo. You know what sucks???? Working a shitty job all day, practically everyday!!!!
Good lord, members of HtB listen to Why? . That’s awesome, despite their crappy tunes
and I mean HtB’s crappy tunes. Why? is amazing.
“The Ecstasy Of Total Life Failure” is gonna be the title of an album and probably a piece of erotic religious art.
Yknow what i got for Christmas? a crushed fucking soul!!
yeah. you mentioned that already
One thing is clear: this dude does LOTS of drugs.
HORSE THE BAND IS AMAZING!!! SAW them last weekend, their fanbase is kickass and knows all the words etc
So, their fanbase is exactly like literally every other band’s fanbase, then? That’s good to know that every fanbase is exactly the same for every band that has ever released any music ever.
i was at the sd show when iwabo mentioned adtr, everyone was like “SOMA SUCKS!!!” “A DAY TO REMEMBER SUCKS!” good stuff
Kid looks like a fucking horse.
I love this guys twisted view of life. He should write for TV.
All of you are huge assholes and Lord Gold will fuck you in the ass.
That’s how I deal with people who don’t like me: anal rape.
These some real ass niggas. Totally putting music aside, niggas dont get mo real than horse the band. Stay gold pony boyz
I am going to make a Venn Diagram that has two circles on it: One that says “People who think they are better than every one else” and “People who play in Horse the Band”.
Then I am going to laser-engrave it into the side of an aluminium baseball bat and Beat You Over The Head With It Until You Promise To Shut The Fuck Up and Never Post Another Blog Again
Classy. Violence really is a panacea, isn’t it?
Man, I’m sure glad my opinions about bands are swayed by a few douche bags on a blogs’ comment section. Otherwise, all of these people saying “Horse sucks and their fans suck dick” would be, like, a waste of time and space or something!
Commenting win.
You know what the problem is? Horse the Band is stuck with Metal fans.
“I think I would describe the state of music today as “clowns who sell clothing to people.””
Fuck the band, fuck their music…but this quote is genius regardless.
WHAT DOTH TOUR LIFE
To Erik “Lord Gold” Engstrom . If you are reading this, you gave me some advice at one of your recent shows regarding the methods of playing 8bit samples from your synth, saying something along the lines of,”You shouldn’t try and get the 8bit sound out of your synth because that’s what’s cool, you should mess with the knobs and find your own sound that you like.”
I stated something along the lines of “The 8bit sound is what I’ve grown up with and I’ve always thought of making my own music the same way. Sure, the sky’s the limit when it comes to finding your own sound on your own synth, but I was just looking for some tips about a certain type.”
Your last paragraph satirically makes a generalization about people who are into that kind of music. There are many people who make “’nostalgic bleeps and bloops’” or Nintendo or keyboards or something, 8 bit samples and memories of Megaman,” and if I’m not mistaken, you do as well on LSDJ. Do you think that you are any better than the many who do just the same as you just because of the band you’re in? Or were you just poking fun at the ones who get into it just because it’s cool? I’m confused about all this.
Fuck the haters, HORSE still rules. Their new album is fucking amazing. I never liked them because of the stupid nintendo thing. I liked them because they play originally entertaining heavy fucking music. And “Desperate Living” is one of the best albums ive heard in years.
okay, i really love horse the band’s music but if you think desperate living is the best album you’ve heard in years you should start listening to more music.
I think we can all agree that this shit is much better than Rich Halford’s douchebaggery.