GET READY FOR ROCK OF AGES THE MOVIE
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 at 10:30am by Axl RosenbergI’ve never seen Rock of Ages, the “Broadway smash!” jukebox musical that incorporates (recycles) old hair metal and hair metal-friendly songs into what Variety tells me is the story of “two people who meet at the Sunset Strip club Rock of Ages, fall in love and try to stay together.” But I’m assuming it’s awful. I mean, on the one hand, if you’re gonna suffer through a Broadway musical, I understand the appeal of said musical at least featuring songs by Poison, Bon Jovi and Twisted Sister; but on the other hand, no I don’t.
ANYWAY, I mention all of this because Variety also tells me that Adam Shankman is going to be directing a feature film version of this show. Shankman presumably landed the job because he directed the movie of the musical of the movie Hairspray and the studio execs in charge needed 110% assurance that whomever they hired would do nothing original or creative whatsoever. He’s also directed such masterpieces as Bringing Down the House (Queen Latifah shows Steve Martin his inner brother), The Pacifier (Vin Diesel wears a tutu), and Cheaper by the Dozen 2.
Christ. They couldn’t even get the dickhead who directed the first Cheaper by the Dozen.
Rock of Ages has given the world one true gift, however – Bret Michaels getting whacked in the head at the Tony Awards:
Rock of Ages will hit (see what I did there?) multiplexes in 2011.
-AR
Ugh. So in twenty years will we have a musical involving emo/metalcore music? If so…Well I’ll probably be dead by then.
You have no idea of how scary that question is to me. Probably there will be vh1 specials about the top 100 songs of metal and that list will be filled with attack attacks and bullet for my valentines. Oh I wish I’d be dead by then too.
hahh. The Bret Michaels clip never gets old.
I’m not wealthy, nor am I gay, so I tend to avoid Broadway shows at all costs.