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Scraping Genius Off The Wheel

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

 Friday, October 23rd, 2009 at 4:30pm by

this is what i think of you
(special thanks to Erika for this awesome image)

Thank you for allowing me into your homes, your offices, your myriad mobile devices, and, most importantly, your hearts. This has been a truly blessed day and one that I will never forget. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

I’m back, bitches.

-GS

[Gary Suarez thinks you're the best reader of all. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

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  • Adam

    I think that us loyal readers deserve an explanation of what went down between last week (when you were supposedly fired) and today.

    amirite?

    • Johnny Death

      What happened? The need for a publicity stunt!

      • DemonicLemming

        Werd.

    • Nick

      Wow, you guys really thought he was fired? You’re the brunt of the joke for taking a blog run by friends this seriously.

      • DemonicLemming

        “Publicity stunt”.

  • SourDeez

    What’s the deal with that picture? I don’t get it. Am I retarded?

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      i guess that makes you the punchline.

    • Jugglemonkey

      It looks like it’s supposed to be an outline of a state. Having said that, I’m english, what the fuck would I know about it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

      It’s the state of Indiana. The picture is a deragatory view of low income white people. It suggests that
      the state of Indiana is a place where Nascar and metal come together.

      I’m not sure why Indiana was chosen but I don’t know too much about the people in that state
      personally. This picture was most likely created by someone who used to live there and is in snobish
      fashion critiquing the people there. This individual probably moved to NY or Cali or something. This is
      VERY typical and douchebagish in my personal opinion.

      Go fuck yourself Gary. I like you less and less all the time.

      • http://www.twitter.com/stabitha Stabitha

        I’m from Indiana, and the picture is totally, 100% correct. I’m not sure I would have gotten into metal had I grown up anywhere else. Your associations of those two things with being “low income white people,” however, are your own — and they are also total bullshit. I’d accuse you of letting your bourgeous guilt get the best of you but if you really were upper middle class I’d hope your sentence structure and spelling would be better.

        • DidgeryDo

          Wow you don’t even get that he was making fun of you and I was defending
          you but hey maybe the stereotypes are true.

          • DidgeryDo

            BTW if you honestly believe “associations of those two things with being “low income white people,” however, are your own ” then you are ignorant as FUCK.

          • DidgeryDo

            PS this is Colin. Facebook is blocked from this computer and
            that’s the reason for the alternate name.

  • http://www.solidsterecords.com NoCowNoFood

    XD I think it was all a BAD JOKE..cheap ass writers

  • Ziltoid

    Wow, a lame joke by MS. Why am I not surprised…

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      Because of past experience.

  • mankvill

    A day of Gary Suarez? A day of wasted Metal Sucks posts. Yawn.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      Nah. I actually liked Lewd Acts or w/e the hell it was called. I’ll end up buying that CD

  • cookie

    good stuff today

    food destroys

    next week, should explain how sarcasm works

    • The Ghost of D. Boon

      Thumbs up

  • Manfred Nuggets

    You think I’M the best reader of all?! Oh you!

  • Sex robot

    And we thought the five finger dick punch publicity stunt was dumb.. This is even dumber. And was that picture drawn by a ‘tard?

    • The Ghost of D. Boon

      Was this comment made by a ‘tard?

      (yes)

  • Malacoda

    I’m so confused. If that Oceano review was serious, I may have lost some respect for Gary.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

      It’s a mystery what Gary Suerez’s true opinions are because a majority of everything he says and does
      is sarcasm or in the spirit of parody. People like this tend to have the most annoying and idiotic
      opinions of all and unwittingly do us all a service by not sharing them with us.

      Suffice to say he’s probably a trendy, NYC, socialist douche who needs to be beaten severely.

  • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

    An all-around good day at MS.

  • wackomann

    The merging of this particular Venn diagram looks like the state of Indiana. Is Indiana really where metal and NASCAR collide? I thought Indiana was a state more friendly to open-wheel racing than stocks.

    • wackomann

      The headline of the post also reminds me of the Slipknot/Efron YouTube video post. “Thank you so much! F***ing love you all!”

  • SP420

    Fucking stupid. Can’t believe you high fucks need to pull publicity stunts that, don’t necessarily sink low, but rather just make the reader walk away confused and wonder why some people are allowed to have access to a computer.

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      you’re right. because your post really makes me wonder why you’re able to use a computer when you don’t even feel a joke kicking you in the dick. you should probably step away from the D&D, megadeth records, cheetos, and get some sun.

  • DidgeryDo

    Hey Gary, now that your Richard Heeney bullshit is over why don’t you go get fired for real! You’re not funny, cool or interesting….GO AWAY!

  • Aya

    Gary is running this site for one day, today only, I think. Not that enjoy today’s posts but it sounds like a meaningful day for MS.

  • Rancidcorpse

    I live in Indiana

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Edward-Wilfred/100000007099811 Edward Wilfred

      Doesn’t it suck?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-Kurkjian/1238131077 Rob Kurkjian

    hmmm wow a publicity stunt…. Doesnt change the fact you still suck Gary.

    • CrapMcPoopin

      man do i agree.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

        +1

        Fuck Gary.

  • fearo

    This collection of posts you made might just be the biggest fail I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Not only do you talk about bands that nobody gives a fuck about, you simply aren’t funny or creative enough, and don’t have the wit to pull it off. Leave the writing to Axl and Vince, and go the fuck away.

    • DICKHOLE

      what the fuck anybody thats willing to write about the melvins and be excited about it has to be cool! leave gary alone he has good taste in music the website is called metalsucks and they are right it does there just happens to be really good bands that are thrown in the genre…. THE MELVINS RULE!!!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

        Fuck you Dickhole he’s right. Gary is a pretentious prick who’s unnessarily complicated
        and unfunny satire is wearing on me like Saturday Night Live.

        The sad thing is I get the impression he holds his dug addled, psuedo intelectual garbage
        in a high regard. What a fucking douche.

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

    I love the people that are all confused, even now that this is all over.

  • NWIndiana in Da House

    This all makes sense now! Gary Suarez kisses Oceano ass because it’s a band that that has achieved ‘some’ national recognition from his ‘neck of the woods’. That neck of the woods would be Indiana. Gary must either be from or has lived in Indiana. Why else for the ridiculous photo above?

    Oceano claims to be from Chicago but Northwest Indiana actually borders the city of Chicago. So I believe they are also from Indiana, just like Gary. They recorded their most recent album in freakin’ Connersville, Indiana. Why do that and not Chicago?? Also, Oceano played PitFest in Lake Station Indiana a few years ago. Only local Northwest Indiana metal bands play that gig.

    Gary must be friends with these guys. That’s the reason for the Oceano review. He knows how much they suck. So he writes it in such a way so that the readers of this site thinks he’s being sarcastic, which at the same time he can tell his friends in this band that he wrote them a good review. Gary . . . If a band sucks, they suck no matter where they came from!! Too bad you don’t have the balls to them them!

    • FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

      AHA!!! THE TRUTH HAS BEEN REVEALED!!!!!

  • Ryan

    OH MY GOD YOU’RE ALL GETTING TROLLED OVER AND OVER AGAIN

  • yourgodsucksballs

    Clearly you idiots have no clue what a “publicity stunt” actually is.
    If you’re pulling a stunt, you’re trying to attract new readers. Why would
    the GS/MS saga attract new people who would have no fucking clue
    what the fuck happened? That makes no sense. If anything, they’re fucking
    with everyone simply because it prompts the exact response they were
    looking for: posts in which people talked shit and complained. You all fell for it,
    and because you fell for it, everybody has to cry about how lame it all is.

    I think this shit is funny.

  • Sverre

    This whole “look, our readers are morons” bit was actually really funny at first, but now it’s just stupid. I’ve been visiting this site less and less since this whole Gary Suarez ordeal.

  • Elliott

    the real joke was his review of oceano…or was that literally a joke?
    ive never been more confused!

  • Noel

    am i the only one who thinks that picture is funny as hell? and im not a snobbish california resident, im a lower middle class white male from wisconsin, so bite me. that shit is funny, and true.