PROFILES IN EXCELLENCE: RAMMSTEIN
Friday, October 23rd, 2009 at 10:30am by Gary Suarez
Be it their embarassing foray into “edgy” promotional items or their agonizingly dated sound, German industrial schtick-peddlers Rammstein sure know how to beat (off) a dead horse. Indeed, outside of their homeland, they are about as relevant to metal as other such laughable also-rans as Green Jelly and Hellyeah. The band’s recent single, the poignantly-titled “Pussy,” demonstrates an artistic stagnancy that would shame KMFDM and has about as much charm as a half-eaten McDonalds snack wrap plucked from the filthy floor of a New York City subway car. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Rammstein are the kind of band truly deserving of your dismissive yawns.
Unfortunately, Rammstein and their record company still seem to believe that their terrible tunes deserve the resources of an American publicist, predicated on the delusion that the people who half-liked their 1997 minor radio hit “Du Hast (You Hate)” would care even a little about their current endeavors. So with that in mind, please feel free to ignore the utterly pointless and assuredly NSFW “Behind The Scenes” footage from their latest video. I didn’t watch it, so why the fuck should you?
-GS
[Gary Suarez hopes this is the last time this band will need to be mentioned on this website. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]
gay.
Thought you guys fired this shmuck?
And Rammstein blows so, so hard.
Fuck This Band.
Apparently they’re very good live – there’s fire and a giant prosthetic penis. And why not.
Suarez weekly might be funny, but a whole day is overkill.
I can safely file Rammstein under guilty pleasure, right beside Powerman 5000. Just don’t take them seriously.
Ditto. I think these guys are pretty fun. Probably helps that I saw ‘em live. Better videos than most bands too.
Are we talking old PM5K? Because once they dropped the spaceman thing they went way the fuck downhill in my book. The last album I listened to by them was ‘Destroy What You Enjoy’, and I thought it was utter shite.
their new album really sucks
I figured it might… I haven’t bothered even downloading it.
brilliant. Suarez = pure fucking genius.
you are the tits.
fuck you suarez
I like the new Rammstein album. I’ve liked Rammstein for a long time, and they put on a damn entertaining live show.
And in the aforementioned behind-the-scenes video, they acknowledge that ‘Pussy’ is a bad song… it’s supposed to be cheesy, and I think it pulls it off pretty well. So fuck you if you don’t have a sense of humor about things.
I never really liked this band, but I downloaded the new CD for shits & giggles and turns out I really like it. “Ich Tu Dir Weh” and “B*******” are standout tracks. Did the band feature songs as heavy as these on their past releases? If so, I’m going to have to check them out.
Yeah… their previous two releases weren’t as heavy (although they had some heavier tracks on them) but their first three albums were. I’d start at the beginning and work your way forward.
Sweet, thanks for the tip. I’m pretty sure sometime during the course of my insane downloading era a few years back, I downloaded their whole collection. I’ll start from the beginning.
One thing I noticed about this album is that it strayed away from what they’ve been doing for a long time and actually seemed to take a bit of influence from established metal. Rammstein is nothing that knocks your socks off when it comes to writing, never has been – it’s just fun. They don’t take it seriously, why should anyone else? haha
I agree. Rammstein is a band that my friends and I have enjoyed for a long time. I don’t take them seriously because they ask to not be taken seriously. That’s how I feel about Gary Suarez, except I don’t know or care how he wants to be taken. And No Yoko No is a shitty fucking blog.
Rammstein rocks. Check out rammstein live volkerball. Thats how a live show should be.
This, Indeed!
yeah really, didnt gary suarez get the axe? get this fucking asshole off the site, he doesnt do anything but write negative reviews that we dont even care about…. why is he posting about rammstein if he doesnt think they deserve attention? i think you’re the kind of prick that rammstein’s marketing team figures will promote them by being a simple minded fuck and “blasting” them…….. GARY, they want you to do this sort of thing….. but we dont…. go AWAY!
Hey, the review above this is a positive review that we don’t care about.
Lighten up, Francis.
that KMFDM burn was awesome.
This just underscores the divide between American metal and European metal (in general). Believe me- Europeans (and pretty much the rest of the world) thinks most of the american nu-metal is pure crap and still laughs at 80s American glam-metal.
Euro industrial metal is not for everyone. Neither is power metal.
Personally, my blood and my eardrums come from Sweden and I totally dig the new Rammstein album. I think only GG Allin would actually go through making a porno for a music video. Oh wait, Evan from Biohazrd- that counts (he’s in porn now).
At least we can all agree in Iron Maiden.
If you think “pretty much the rest of the world” laughs at 80’s American glam-meatl, you have obvously never been to any country in asia. Fucking Warrant still sell out shows in asia. They have an entire music genre in Japan that dedicates itself to looking and sounding like 80’s glam. And an awful lot of european acts sound like 80’s metal too (Primal Fear, Helloween, Hammerfall, Tokio Hotel).
Slayer…
Thanks, for those comically misleading remarks…
I feel that Rammstein is an awesome band…
You arent gonna catch me having a porno music video, so +One Trillion points to them!!! lol
any band that lights themselves on fire during their shows is ok in my book.
Hey dumb fuck… Du Hast means You Have…. please stick to destroying the English language and not any others. Rammstein is alot better than most bands from the US because the recent trends of deathcore/crabcore/wiggerslam/ and other stupid bastardizations of heavy metal are just god damn awful. Please return to the sewers in which you are from. Thanks
Well then blame the band for their translation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qjWjTi6Uz4
It’s a double meaning. Do some research.
Thank you! Obviously the song is about marriage vows and how no one follows them anymore.
they have a decent logo, but have you tried listening to rammstein? it’s pretty difficult stuff. not difficult in the listening to an hour-long 12-tone composition way, but difficult in the sense that you feel like you’re stuck behind a kid microwaving a donut in a roadside 7-11 at 2 am and all you want to do is heat up the shitty coffee you just poured.
Du Hast can mean 2 things. It can mean you have, or it can mean you hate.
Hast = Have
Hasst = Hate
Like Ramstein and Rammstein, first meaning “to ram stone” where Rammstein is an Airport in Germany
wow… you know too much about this shitty band.
I think you have that backwards… Ramstein is the airbase, and Rammstein means ramming stone.
Dumb.
new album is great. take away “pussy” and every song is fantastic and memorable. id didnt get the special ed so not sure about those songs
for someone who think they wouldnt like it i would say listen to the first 3 songs on the album. they are very heavy and catchy. some get turned off by the german singing, but those riffs will take care of that.
I don’t like Rammstein much at all, but they are really good live. I think it was the fire that did it though. Well coreographed fire.
Yeah, Till Lindemann is actually a licensed pyrotechnician.
i like my metal & porn seprate
What!? WHAT!? WHAT THE FUCK?!
you desperately need to re-fire this douchebag blogger
I lived in Germany as a military kid. I can assure that the Germans see no reason to separate pron and anything. That’s just how they roll. That was a long time ago, but I doubt they are much different now. I’ve heard that their women shave their armpits these days so things are probably better than ever there now.
Oh, and I am no more or less likely to check out the new Rammstein due to this review. Seriously, why should I care that some hipper-than-thou metalhead likes to mentally masturbate over the irrelevance of Rammstein? I’d rather listen to the Pet Shop Boys remix of Mein Teil than argue.
Because of this post I’m listening to KMFDM right now.
thought you guys fired this guy
The album is great by the way. I know there’s a lot of Rammstein haters on this site but the album kicks major asses. Do not stop at the single. Pussy, the single, is plain crap. But the rest of the album is their greatest effort to date. The last 2 albums were boring.
And do not give me comparisions to tell me this is not as hard as something else. I listen mostly to death metal bands like Aborted, Behemoth & Bloodbath.
Give them a try LIVE. They give the best show you could ever get. Better than most metal bands.
I agree… although I think ‘Pussy’ is just retarded enough to be cheesy fun.
you know what? i’m sick of people defending shitty bands by saying “OH BUT THEY’RE GREAT LIVE”. fuck that. either write some good fucking songs or fuck off. if you want a spectacle, go watch fucking nickelback. i’m here for the fucking music.
Why do you think Rammstein is shitty? Lead singers that don’t sound like women make you piss your pants?
Suarez doesn’t get it – pretentious douchebag.
The new album isn’t bad. Suarez is a shmuck. diaf douchecanoe.
If there’s any band out there I’d call borning, it wouldn’t be Rammstein. I swear you were hired just to shit-stir.
*boring
I like this band.
Mutter is a killer album and Sehnshut has its moments. The new stuff is horrible. Pussy has to be a joke. There’s a riff or two on the new album that i don’t mind but this band sound so dated, everything they’ve done after Reise Reise has failed to stand on it’s own.
I agree that Mutter is a killer album, but I also think Sehnsucht is pretty awesome (except for maybe a song or two – “Klavier,” I’m looking at you.) But they haven’t released much since Reise Reise, except for Rosenrot, which was just leftovers from the Reise Reise sessions. As far as the new album goes, it’s definitely a return to form. And “Pussy” is DEFINITELY a joke.
Hey!
I like Green Jelly.
You should fire GS again, face it the dude is dumb…anyway Rammstein are 1 of the best live bands around and they put up a monster fucking show…so even if you dont like it, and you went to the show you’d be simply blown away!