THEM CROOKED WANKERS
Friday, October 23rd, 2009 at 3:30pm by Gary Suarez
A little over a week ago, I still felt so very excited about Them Crooked Vultures, the supergroup featuring such rock stars Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters, Nirvana), Josh Homme (Kyuss, Queens Of The Stone Age), and John Paul Jones (some obscure 60s/70s band). With Grohl back behind the drums again and Homme as frontman, this somewhat clandestinely publicized grouping swelled with potential and promise.
Then, I saw them live.
Them Crooked Vultures suck in spite of themselves, churning out some seriously generic and geriatric classic rock at New York’s Roseland Ballroom last week. I respected them for refusing to play any recognizable tracks from any of their projects, but I would’ve respected them a whole lot more if the songs weren’t so damn boring. The Crooked Vultures are like a cover band that staunchly plays B-sides from B-list hard rock bands. Clearly Grohl, Homme, and Jones were having a terrific time on stage, and the audience members–many of whom were under the influence of illicit substances–nodded their heads and applauded politely. But as each song blended blandly into the next, it became painfully clear to me (and less so to Miss Elise of Reign In Blonde who also attended) that Them Crooked Vultures self-indulgently wank way more than they selflessly rock.
So if you dig great musicians making middling music, you’ll definitely want to pre-order Them Crooked Vultures’ debut on CD and vinyl. The release date for this thirteen-track snoozefest is November 17.
-GS
[Gary Suarez PWNs. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]
Fucking Wank
I got footage of there performace.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvw_502reZY&feature=player_embedded
Haha, you got me. At least it wasn’t Rick Astley.
Wha? Gary’s back?
So, both of the bands you’ve posted that I actually give a shit about you don’t like. Granted, I’m going to wait until I actually hear Them Crooked Vultures before I pass judgment, but I’m still psyched for their album, perhaps more now since everything you post about reinforces that your taste in music is vastly different from mine.
…and it sucks, his taste in music that is
I don’t believe you.
Wow, you promoted an album for band you just totally bashed all in one article. I’m glad they fired you from this site! I mean I can’t stand Axl and his writing about 75% percent of the time, but I’d rather read all of his articles than one of your articles
Yeah, don’t trust Gary on this topic at all. I was at the show, and it was awesome. I’m not sure what Gary was looking for when he went to see them, but the music was so tight and very well put together. What do you expect out of an old JPJ? (I SAW SOME FROM LED ZEP LIVE!!!!!!) He still grooves, and hold his own up there. Grohl isone of the best live drummers around, and Josh brings it all together so well. I already have the vinyl on pre-order and can’t wait to spend hours listening to it when it arrives!
Hooray for “competent” musicianship
“Tight and well put together” does not always mean “good music,” only good musicianship. Granted, “good” is 100% subjective to the listener…
you wank at writing
eww savage burn
You suck.
I really can’t stand the term “self-indulgent.” Music by nature is self indulgent, you’re playing what you want to play. You’re indulging your personal taste, vision, and desire to play music. If you’re not indulging yourself, you’re indulging someone else which is a terrible thing for an artist to do. I think the term only applies correctly to musicians who try very hard to stand out rather than playing with a group, eg. shred guitarists.
They lack an engaging frontman, Josh has a little too much frat-boy in him to pull it off. It comes across in the music, it’s a little smug in presenation. And it sounds like QOTSA w/JP Jones on bass, what would you expect? I’m not going to buy something that is this heavily promoted as I know I will be as sick of it as I am of Nickelback now.
Josh Homme isn’t an engaging frontman? Have you ever seen QOTSA?
Yes, I find like a stick in the eye, over and over. It is certainly something, just to me, not something good.
Everyone seems to be falling over themselves to herald this as a shot in the arm for rock music – maybe we should wait and see.
He’s definitely an engaging frontman and there’s nothing “frat boy” about him onstage.
Yeah, you may want to check this clip out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfZm32tpWY8
That’s not engaging. It’s just a dude who thinks way, way too highly of himself being a dick. And if you think that’s an isolated incident, do your homework. It ain’t. Homme’s a meathead. I like some of his music, but still…Chip’s right. The guy’s a smug neanderthal.
this is not a good band, sadly.
Kudos for recognizing that the sun doesn’t shine out of your ass just because you once played in a good band. Grohl perfectly embodies the concept of utter self-indulgence. Kurt Cobain would stick a fucking screwdriver in Dave’s eye if he knew him now. He’s got his nose up so many crusty rock star’s asses, he’s actually turning brown from the neck up.
I’m glad Kurt Cobain’s dead. He was a homo.
you are not a good person, sadly.
Kurt was a piece of shit. Good riddance to him. Grohl can do no wrong.
“he’s actually turning brown from the neck up.”
That would make this band a carbon copy of Living Colour then, right?
IT SEEMS LIKE ALOT OF PEOPLE WHO COME ON THIS WEBSITE HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYTHING JUST ABUNCH OF TEENAGE ASSHOLES WHO THINK THEY KNOW WHAT GOOD MUSIC IS….. IF YOU THINK THIS WEBSITE SUCKS AND OR THE WRITERS ON THIS SITE TOO WHY DONT YOU START YOUR OWN METALRULES WEBSITE YOU FUCKING CRY BABY DOUCHEBAGS AND QUIT COMING HERE TO POLLUTE THE BLOGS YOU FUCKING WANKERS!!!!
You gave a perfect score to Oceano, so I’m still going to give this album a try.
you’re not a smart person, sadly.
“John Paul Jones (some obscure 60s/70s band)”
You have got to be fucking kidding me. IT’S LYNCHIN’ TIME!
You may want to take your sarcasm detector to a local service center to have it calibrated… I think it maybe faulty.
Nothing gets by you, huh?
Very funny you should mention this because I msg’d Metalsucks the other day telling them how awesome the live show was and that they should mention TCV more often. I really like the music this band is putting out and I feel if you like solid groovy riffs, this is your band. They also played like they’ve been playing together for years which probably isn’t a surprise considering the band’s pedigree but it just added to the awesomeness.
A good day to me is sitting home with a bunch of beers and listening to The Doobie Brothers. Fucking CHINA GROVE, man. Ain’t nothing wrong with some 70’s stock rock, I’ll take that shit gladly. Know your role, son, your keyboard is a pebble against steel.
I like you Gary, lets hang and have some beers, I got The Eagles GOLD DISC rockin’ and shit…and what the fuck, even I KNEW better than to actually get off the couch to see TCV…I’ve already seen that movie. It was alright.