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Reviews, Scraping Genius Off The Wheel

GARY’S THREE-WORD ALBUM REVIEWS: DEAD BY SUNRISE’S OUT OF ASHES

 Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 1:00pm by

doa dbs

Dead on arrival.

metal hornsmetal horns half

(1 ½ out of 5 horns)

-GS

[Gary Suarez welcomes your constructive criticism. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

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  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

    Why even mention this bullshit? It’s a fucking linkin park side project. It goes straight to the bargain bin, don’t worry about it.

  • Jason

    That is thee worst fucking album art in the ever growing cauldron of what a semi-coherent individual would deem worthy to even consider for use as toilet paper.

  • Mike

    I was hoping that Friday was just Vince and Axl posing as Gary because it seemed that his posts were even more douchey than usual but apparently he really is back. More wasted space on this site.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    Two word review: shit sandwich.

    • John

      WHO WROTE THAT!? CAN YOU EVEN PRINT THAT!?

      • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

        I don’t know who wrote that, but I do know it was a review for Spinal Tap’s ‘Shark Sandwhich’

        • mrbinky

          Wow, thanks for pointing that out.

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          Glad you caught my reference… too bad you missed John’s.

          • Fufkin

            I get worried when a 1-2 Spinal Tap quote goes under appreciated – consider it appreciated from me.

  • Blackgrind

    Best. Review. Ever.

  • Caspar Colderson

    that’s a Fall Out Boy-song. You wanna describe this album with a Fall Out Boy-song?

    • borden

      BOOO to you for even knowing that that was a Fall Out Boy song title!!!

      • Caspar Colderson

        I’ve never been hiding that I like Fall Out Boy. I usually listen to them while reading this site, just be an ass.

    • some_guy

      lol i don’t think that was the intention

    • da tr00f

      its also a fairly prolific expression, commonly used in law enforcement and emergency medical terminology. so before you get your panties in a twist over the fact that he used a phrase that fall-out boy also happened to name a song after, lets consider the fact that you know its a song in the first place. i should think also that its only apt to describe a bad album by using another bad band as a reference

      • Caspar Colderson

        again, I like Fall out Boy. And instead of making a very obvious joke about twisted panties and your mom, I will listen to Fall Out Boy feat. Timbaland, just because I think you’re annoying.

      • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

        Yeah it became a prolific expression only because Fall Out Boy made it so popular you know. They’re so cool they kinda invented everything in the world and stuff…

        • Caspar Colderson

          okay, fine. I was truying to make a joke about how everybody hates Fall Out Boy. Some_guy obviously got it, so kudos to him. I know it wasn’t intentional to review this album with the title of a Fall Out Boy song. I’m not a moron.
          now, I deeply apologize for my existence. Have a nice day.

  • joshkid

    why the fuck does this have a horn?

    • Lybrium

      hahaha best comment yet! +100000000000000000

  • yourgodsucksballs

    I love the fact that this is GS’s follow up review to his previous uber-eloquent piece.

    This website is fucking fantastic.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

      If you go for that fine. Gary is a shit stain.

  • Lu Galasso

    1.5 horns sounds generous here.

  • CYN1C

    Why is this douche still posting here? I thought he got “fired”

  • myke

    slow news day huh boyz????

    • joshkid

      every day is a slow news day ’round these parts

  • Kye

    I love Linkin Park and even I know that this album is absolute trash.

    • joshkid

      btw, Dead By Sunrise sounds like the same trash LP turned into on their last album

      • poopsmcgee

        turned in to?

        • joshkid

          ???

        • joshkid

          oh i see now

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

    Gary would you just shut the fuck up indefinitely? Knowing your’re penchant for histrionics this review
    is no surprise. So, the big self-agrandizing douche monger enjoying his most recent negative-attention
    addiction fix ? You are not even HALF as clever as you think you smug cock gobbler.

    • CYN1C

      Right on. You tell him!

  • Sean Pulatie

    I hate to admit it, but I kind of enjoy Linkin Park. Call it my guilty pleasure. It’s nothing mind-blowing and amazing, but some of their stuff is at least fun. It’s also one of the two (maybe three) metal bands I can actually listen to with my wife. It doesn’t take a lot of thought. Call it “lazy metal” if you want.

    That being said, this Dead By Sunrise stuff is CRAP. I usually enjoy most side projects – A Perfect Circle, Halo of Locusts, Team Sleep, etc. – but this is just horrible. What I’ve heard of it thus far sounds just like Chester’s other band. Isn’t the point of a side project to step away from your original band’s sound?

    Two more points before I call it a night.

    1) Before you rip the guy above apart for liking Fall Out Boy, “D.O.A.” is also a song by The Haunted. And Fall Out Boy isn’t that bad. There are far worse things on the planet.

    2) If the exact same album art was on the new Red Chord album, or the new Converge album, you’d be telling me how amazing and groundbreaking it is. It’s the one thing that this band managed to get right thus far. Don’t let the music sway your opinion of the art.

  • hayisforhorses

    Its amazing how grown men post comments like hormonal teenage shut-ins.

  • Matt

    Somehow I was thinking that the point of review was to expand on the strengths and weaknesses of something, so that people could make an educated guess to whether they would be interested in checking it out for themselves.

    So much for that, I guess.